katty Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Take a lesson from your loyal, faithful friend and just say NO. Don't worry it won't hurt her but it will definitely make her think more about you and why you are not her little puppet on a string. Please I beg you to say No or just don't answer at all. Just think of it as tough love. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO No
Sal Paradise Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 No contact is the only. Screw what she wants. If you stay friends with her while she is seeing this other guy you're essentially handing her your testicles in a glass box. You're a nice guy and you're 18. You're too young to be driving yourself nuts over some psycho slut who is also too young to know what she wants. Move on. Actually if you really want her back the best thing you can do is absolute no contact at all. It could take a month or so but she'll come running back. And if she doesn't she'll be out of your system. Start dating someone else and see how jealous and pissed off she gets. Trust me, she is playing you like a fiddle. You have all the power and you're letting her have it. Take it back. I would block her messanger, not return her phone calls, no emails, avoid any places she frequents. Flip flopping back and forth between no contact and limited contact will make it worse. The reason she contacts you every time you cut her off is because she doesn't want to lose control of you. She is using you. She wants to date other guys and keep you just in her grasp but still at a distance. This way if she finds nothing better she can take you back. She is manipulating you. If you keep letting her do it nothing will change. No contact is the only way.
Author Mr.P Posted July 29, 2005 Author Posted July 29, 2005 Thank you both for your replies, We've kinda been having a go at each other over messages today, she apportioning the blame on to me but based on events in the past which I was led to believe was water under the bridge and we had started off on a clean slate. Last I've heard from her is that she appreciates my views but she is gonna do wot she wants. Apparently a lot of people told her not to date me (I can think of who they all are, personality clash for years), but even after listening to their reasons she chose to carry on dating me. She finished with "Thank you for your warnings, they are appreciated". NC is the only answer, but I'm not prepared to give up my fave sport just so she can carry on enjoying it with new prat. They have both won then.
BLF04 Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 If you want to exchange messages that's your choice. But Mixwell is absolutely right. Im going to be a senior in college and my ex gf just broke up w/ me for the 2nd time. The first time was freshman year. We had a great 8 month relationship before college, she broke up w/ me for another guy. I begged, pleaded, etc... I looked pathetic. The guy she dumped me for was a jerk. But a girl would rather be with someone who is a jerk then someone they dont respect. Well 8 more months went by, I had a new gf and he was still a jerk, my ex wanted me back. I took her back. The 2nd breakup. We were not getting along now. She broke it off but would call me every couple days after. She would ask if I was happy about the break up and I would say "Yes," then she would tell me to tell the truth and I would say "OK not really." I'm not just mad I sad that, I'm mad I ever picked up the phone. She's now mad we don't talk anymore even though she has a new bf. Mixwell is right.
Author Mr.P Posted July 31, 2005 Author Posted July 31, 2005 We've had 3 days of No Contact now and it's not easy. I know she's still thinking about me bcos she wanted me to forgive her and go away for the day with her next weekend. But I can't have anything to do with her whilst she has this guy as her bf. She's won altogether then. Just doesn't get any easier.....
Author Mr.P Posted August 1, 2005 Author Posted August 1, 2005 Like today, she sent me a message first thing this morning saying she forgot to tell me how proud of me she was and congratulated me after looking at my website yesterday (my new company. Since I left my last job I'm a changed man and she didn't give herself the chance to see that). I didn't reply, NC and all that, and when I saw her tonight (Didn't really have a choice) she was all happy and cheerful (only spoke to her once, think she got the message I wasn't interested). I saw her new bf shove an 8yr old kid off the jetty, wasn't a push either, literally threw him off, all bcos he splashed him. I told the kids dad (who hates him as much as we do) and that fuelled his anger against him even more! I can't tell her that, through fear of her thinking I'm stirring up **** which could draw her closer to him. She had her back to this incident when it happened Ahhh !! She's the only one that can't see how much of an arsehole he is and it is so frustrating !!!!
lostinmymind Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 Originally posted by Mr.P Then they carry on kissing each other all night in front of me and everyone else, much to the majority's disgust. Damn... She is not worth your time. I've NEVER met a girl who would do something that horrible to an ex, unless he did something horrible to her. That doens't seem like something a good person would do. You say he's an a**h***, well look at what she did to you, maybe they belong together. You seem like a good guy, go find a woman that will truly appreciate you.
Jaime03 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 Get rid of her...from what you have said people you know and your friends all look down on her for what she has done. What would you look like if you went back to her?? Not too good. She is running you in circles. Let her go ahead and be with this guy...I am sure it will not last long and if it does good for both of them...Better then it being you. If you broke up 3 times in a matter of 12 months then when did you have good times? I mean thats a lot of breaking up in that short amount of time. I know you miss her but a lot of it has to do with the fact she is dating someon else too. That is what has really gotten you. The best thing you could do is start the process of moving on. Yes it takes time but right now I am sure you cant even think of anything else and that is not good. It sounds like you have great friends who will support you. Keep your pride...I know girls that sound like her and I am a girl and I know what she is doing...She wants to have her cake and eat it too...If she really cared about your feelings soo much she wouldnt have brought him around places she knew you would be if she knew it would upset you. She said she was sorry but actions speak louder than words. Keep to NC and put that girl in her place...They probably belong together anyways...Look at it this way it cant get any worse than this. Finding out your ex is dating is about as bad as it gets...So now move on and dont waste anymore time and before you know it you will be saying wow I dont think I care anymore...
Jaime03 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 Get rid of her...from what you have said people you know and your friends all look down on her for what she has done. What would you look like if you went back to her?? Not too good. She is running you in circles. Let her go ahead and be with this guy...I am sure it will not last long and if it does good for both of them...Better then it being you. If you broke up 3 times in a matter of 12 months then when did you have good times? I mean thats a lot of breaking up in that short amount of time. I know you miss her but a lot of it has to do with the fact she is dating someon else too. That is what has really gotten you. The best thing you could do is start the process of moving on. Yes it takes time but right now I am sure you cant even think of anything else and that is not good. It sounds like you have great friends who will support you. Keep your pride...I know girls that sound like her and I am a girl and I know what she is doing...She wants to have her cake and eat it too...If she really cared about your feelings soo much she wouldnt have brought him around places she knew you would be if she knew it would upset you. She said she was sorry but actions speak louder than words. Keep to NC and put that girl in her place...They probably belong together anyways...Look at it this way it cant get any worse than this. Finding out your ex is dating is about as bad as it gets...So now move on and dont waste anymore time and before you know it you will be saying wow I dont think I care anymore...
Jaime03 Posted August 1, 2005 Posted August 1, 2005 Get rid of her...from what you have said people you know and your friends all look down on her for what she has done. What would you look like if you went back to her?? Not too good. She is running you in circles. Let her go ahead and be with this guy...I am sure it will not last long and if it does good for both of them...Better then it being you. If you broke up 3 times in a matter of 12 months then when did you have good times? I mean thats a lot of breaking up in that short amount of time. I know you miss her but a lot of it has to do with the fact she is dating someon else too. That is what has really gotten you. The best thing you could do is start the process of moving on. Yes it takes time but right now I am sure you cant even think of anything else and that is not good. It sounds like you have great friends who will support you. Keep your pride...I know girls that sound like her and I am a girl and I know what she is doing...She wants to have her cake and eat it too...If she really cared about your feelings soo much she wouldnt have brought him around places she knew you would be if she knew it would upset you. She said she was sorry but actions speak louder than words. Keep to NC and put that girl in her place...They probably belong together anyways...Look at it this way it cant get any worse than this. Finding out your ex is dating is about as bad as it gets...So now move on and dont waste anymore time and before you know it you will be saying wow I dont think I care anymore...
Author Mr.P Posted August 2, 2005 Author Posted August 2, 2005 Thanks for your posts, I have a date lined up in about 2 weeks (she's just about to go on holiday) so I know I'm making a step in the right direction although I can't stop thinking about my ex. The kid who was shoved off the jetty by ex's new bf was up all night crying apparently, his dad is now pursuing legal action against him. Hopefully this will be a kick up the arse for her, because news travels fast! I'm not going to say anything to her though, someone else can. I am almost certain that she hasn't told her parents about him either. I overheard her on her phone to her parents afterwards saying "no it's ok, new bf or Mr.P will take me home"....... I was raging !! How can she say that when she knows I don't want anything to do with her !! Damn... She is not worth your time. I've NEVER met a girl who would do something that horrible to an ex, unless he did something horrible to her Whilst we were goin out, I kissed a girl friend of mine which really upset her and she always held it against me although she didn't really talk about it. So basically it was a revenge attack only I have no feelings whatsoever for my friend, it was just a friendly kiss
Author Mr.P Posted August 3, 2005 Author Posted August 3, 2005 The kids dad is not going to involve the law as he wants his son to forget about it and carry on, not remind him of it which is understandable. But I still feel like she has to know what he has done, but I don't want to tell her as she will accuse me of stirring it up!
Author Mr.P Posted August 3, 2005 Author Posted August 3, 2005 I've got to do something to make her realise that she is being manipulated by him so much. I can't sit and watch her get sucked in by all this, any ideas ??
westernxer Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Originally posted by Mr.P any ideas ?? Yeah, stay out of it.
Author Mr.P Posted August 3, 2005 Author Posted August 3, 2005 Yeah, stay out of it. There's got to be something I can do to make her see sense.
Chris M Posted August 3, 2005 Posted August 3, 2005 Dude, run as fast as you can. I am going through a similar situation now. I first broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago. A few weeks later she shows up at my door. We have sex, then she drops the bomb...she's seeing someone else. Me, like a shmuck, immediately start to try and "win her back." Flowers, poems, all that bull. She continued to see him and me...I bet she was loving it, having 2 a**h***s chase her around. Well, after a few months I had had enouh and told her if she wanted to see this guy I wouldn't see her anymore. She told me she stopped, but never did. We broke up again in August. Fast forward to December of last year, the same thing happens again. Shows up, has sex with me, then tells me she's seeing the guy again. And what did I do...the same effing thing. Cards, flowers, poems. And we played this same damn game for a few months, I told her either him or me. She told me AGAIN she would stop seeing him, but never did. We broke up again in April but she still always shows up here, ringing the bell. The last time was a few weeks ago. I just found out from one of her friends that's she's been LIVING with the guy since April and went on vacation with him and her son a few days after her last doorbell ringing here. Don't be a sucker like me. BREAK it off with this chick or you will be doomed to go through what I went and still am going through.
krystalboricua$ Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 hey i know how u feel cuz i been though that and it does hurt. but she did something something. she shouldn't had done that. i know u will always have felings 4 her but the way she did u was wrong but if u want her back go 4 it. but u know theres more wonderful girls out there waiting for someone. maybe she wasn't the one 4 u . try to move on if not then teyb to get her back
Author Mr.P Posted August 6, 2005 Author Posted August 6, 2005 Whether we get back together or not I still want her to dump her new guy. He has already assaulted a kid since they have been together, and a friend of mine (who was one of his many exes) has said he loves his own macho image which turned her off instantly! I'm afraid she won't see this, and will persevere with him the way she did with me whilst I was going through my rough patch. What can be done to split them up ?!!?
westernxer Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 Originally posted by Mr.P He has already assaulted a kid since they have been together, and a friend of mine (who was one of his many exes) has said he loves his own macho image which turned her off instantly! Sounds like they're made for each other...
Grinning Maniac Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 You are slowly turning into the pathetic scheming ex. What can be done to break them up? Why in the hell would you WANT them to? You two broke up three times already. It's over. She's enough of a bitch to make out with the new guy in front of you. Why would you want her back in your life? That's a trainwreck waiting to happen...again. Leave it alone. You shouldn't even be thinking about breaking them up "for her own good" either. If the guy is a dumb meathead, then let them be together. Sucks to be her, if it goes bad. Start thinking about yourself. Good luck on that date.
Author Mr.P Posted August 11, 2005 Author Posted August 11, 2005 Things are getting better, but she called me at home today because she didn't understand what I meant in a txt message last night (nothing good really just about a newspaper article she wanted me to look at). Anyway instead of being rude to her, I was civil and polite and was on the phone for 20 minutes before her mobile rang (I recognised her ringtone which she has set up for her new bf!) and she asked if she could call me back. I reluctantly said ok. 10 mins later she calls back (for another 20mins!), carrying on conversation then she gets a txt on her phone, reads it..... and lets out a big sigh. I asked what's up and she said "nothing"..... and then changed the subject and was all happy again. She also asked me to come round for a drink, to which I politely said "no" Anyway I'm probably reading too much in to it, but getting the impression that after me telling her I don't want to know her whilst she is seeing him, to her calling today being all happy and cheerful suggests that maybe the grass was not greener for her! Ahh well, still going on my date !!
Author Mr.P Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Found out today she still has feelings for me, and is reluctant to go anywhere I go because of it. I've asked her to call me tomorrow, she's told me she's had problems/issues to deal with and she can't see it working with new bf. But she'll persevere with him and try and make it work. I dunno what to say to her. All my friends tell me to tell her to f**k off, but I can't do that. The fact that she's said she's going to go out of her way and give up the hobby she enjoys doing because I'm there is sending me on a guilt trip - but why !!! My head is scrambled..
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