hippychick3 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I've been with my BF for 3 1/2 years and we both have relationship status hidden. But, we are in each other's profile pics and everyone knows we are together. I don't think the status makes any difference (unless it says "single"... which would not be okay) if you're in posted pics together and all family and friends know you're together. 1
SwordofFlame Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 If you're spending time with him and his friends, what does it matter what his Facebook status is? It's not like he's trying to keep you a secret so he can date other women. I agree with the posters saying he isn't completely sure yet if this relationship is going to make it.
clia Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 No, other red flags so far.Except we didnt talk yesterday...we have talked every single day since we met. So, it is a bit weird. My guess is he is pulling back because you keep bringing up all this serious relationship talk. As he said, you two have established exclusivity, so there is no point in continuing to rehash it and to question it. Men don't like having all of these serious, boring conversations about the status of the relationship. I also agree with Gaeta about the Facebook relationship status stuff. Who cares? I completely get why he doesn't want to be changing his status. I'm around his age bracket and no one I know is updating their relationship status when they have been dating a person for two months. He's 40 years old and that stuff is meaningless. If he doesn't care if you post photos and tag him, then he isn't hiding anything. The only pinkish flag I see is that he didn't get you a Christmas gift. That seems a little strange to me, but everyone is different and your relationship is still very new. 1
stillafool Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I That is the thing though, he says that "we are together" and that "we dont need to be FB official to be official in real life" I agree with him. Why is FB so important to you? 1
Author NoName48498 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 The status itself is not that important. What is important is the real reason behind him not wanting to change it...but I understand that it might be too soon too. Thank you everyone! I feel much better about this. I will give him his space and not bring up the topic again and see where this goes!
GunslingerRoland Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 If I was dating I wouldn't be updating my facebook status every time I got in or out of a new relationship. People who you are friends will know you have a boyfriend. I agree that the Christmas gift thing is a little odd though, I'm not sure why he would not think to get his girlfriend a Christmas gift, seems like kind of a no-brainer. 2
strawberryshortstack Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I've met only some of his friends. I have never met his sisters. I met his Dad once because he dropped by his place as a surprise and I happened to be there. Yes, I do stay at his place. I have clothes and a toothbrush there. That is the thing though, he says that "we are together" and that "we dont need to be FB official to be official in real life" And he's absolutely correct. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over four months now, and we are not Facebook official - and we probably never will be. We are both active Facebook users, we interact with each other on Facebook, and post pictures of each other together on Facebook, but both have our relationship status completely hidden, because it's no one's business but our own and those we choose to share it with. What happens in the real world is much more important than what happens on Facebook. 4
strawberryshortstack Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 At this point, at 2 months dating, this guy doesn't want to be official on FB because he doesn't know if you are going to make it long term. He doesn't want to advertise himself and then in 2 months having to change his FB to single again because it's embarrassing to do that. He wants to get to know you better before screaming to the world you are his GF. Or he may never want to be official on FB, and there's nothing wrong with that. I've had several long-term relationships since the introduction of FB, and have never been "FB official" with any of them. They were still real relationships regardless of that. People place much more importance on being FB official than they should. 1
leogirl876 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I don't want to update FB status unless we become super serious. I see people in & out of relationships all the time and it looks bad, so unless we're really talking marriage, I'm not updating my FB status. Besides, the people closest to me know who I am and am not dating so FB is irrelevant. 1
preraph Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 What you know is this guy doesn't move at the pace you do. He's taking his time. He's careful, and he may be being careful because he is serious. He isn't just leaping from one stage of relationship to the next because it's fun to tell people about. 2 months is NOTHING. Now after six months, if he still won't be public and at least introduce you as his girlfriend, time to cut bait and run. 3
ElizabethIII Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 He said "we are exclusive and I am not dating anyone else". It has been two months. He is exclusive with you and not seeing anyone else. What more do you want at 2 months or 60 days. You need to get a grip. 1
ElizabethIII Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Also I have never once even been friends on facebook with someone I am dating. I dont see any need to. Facebook is just fake rubbish anyway. I think two months is too soon even for facebook friends. 1
basil67 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 If that's the case, shouldn't he have disclosed this up front? How do you ask a girl for her undivided affections, and then ask her to keep it a secret so that you're not embarrassed later if it doesn't work out? Do people actually do this? What is there to be embarrassed about? Most relationships don't work out. It's usually a race to the finish line. If a girl asked that of me, I'd think she was nuts. I certainly wouldn't take someone like that seriously enough to date her exclusively, and if I was already doing that, I'd put an end to that arrangement right away. To me, it would be about self-respect. You'd better be damn appreciative to be exclusive with me. My daughter and her boyfriend did this initially. It wasn't a "secret". All their close friends knew. They just didn't want to put it out on FB till they were more secure.
Fruitee Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 I think that FB means something. OFC to some people it means nothing. But many guys I have seen keep their status in single and have multiple ladies there just one message away. Or they keep ladies who they date off FB so that they wont find out about other women he has in the play. Anyway so many ways to use it as there are people. It cannot be used as only red flag but part of many.
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