inigele14u Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Wassup guys! I am posting this thread to get neutral and mature answers from the outside. Everything I put in here relates to reasons why I need your help on decision making. Please be brutally honest. There's this girl that I've liked for quite awhile now. She is 22 and I am 21. We were best friends in high school, or you could say I was "friendzoned". She had moved to Florida at the end of her senior year by herself and had been through about three relationships. Her last relationship, the guy beat the **** out of her (really bad) and she had to flee to Indiana. In November she and I bought plane tickets to meet up in Florida so that we could get her stuff out of the guy's house who beat her up. Around that time, we stayed in a hotel together - nothing romantic took place. We do that, leave to go back home. We start talking about her moving back to Maryland (Where I am and where she is from) in a apartment with me for awhile. This still is the plan. Well, here's when the issues start popping up... We planned another trip to Atlantic City for Christmas, I have just come back from that. To make a long story as short as possible... We had sex five times. xD. "That escalated quickly". I beat the friendzone, oooooorrrrr I didn't. THIS IS WHAT SCARES ME. The second night when we were ****ing (we were drunk), I asked her how many partners she had. She told me ****ing..... ****ing.... "TEN" MY DUDE. I asked her when she had lost her virginity, she said at 18. So in four years she has slept/had sexual contact with ten guys... And her she is giving me a bj... and I'm just her friend.... This puts a special kind of stab in my "gut feeling" that she isn't relationship material. I did ask her if she had cheated before, she said no. But really who would say yes??? Additional Detail: Pretty much every day since right before I helped her in Florida she has been actively calling me, texting me, trying to skype me. We have been flirting and we did just ****. I guess another thing is she gave that cliche excuse that she has "so many guy friends because guys give less drama". I told her I wouldn't tolerate that **** ever, she's iffy about it. She's smart as hell, but also pretty secretive. She'll hold back even the tiniest bit of information away from her friends and family. I do realize and have told her that this guy that beat the **** out of her might have put her in a state of emotional distress. She might just be ****ing me because she is stressed? Idk... What do yall think? Relationship or pass bro?
Author inigele14u Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 I did tell her about my concern that she will cheat on the next guy, she said if it were me that I'd have nothing to worry about. Because she never has cheated and wouldn't be putting in so much work buying plane tickets to see me. Which is a good point. Not sure what to think.
OnlyHonesty Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 She is not relationship material and has a problem with boundaries. Continue seeing her at your own (and guaranteed) peril. 1
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 So she is your friend and you are judging her??? What does it say about your own character that you are sleeping with a gal yourself n then judging her for sleeping with others??? You are too insecure and will destroy a relationship with her. What proof you have that she cheated on anyone? None. It is pure speculation. And who knows whether she actually slept with 10 guys or not!! You want to be a BF, connect emotionally with a woman without judging her for her past. Evaluate her on her present behavior to see if you are compatible. I feel sad that someone she considers a friend is thinking she is not relationship material after himself having sex with her.
Author inigele14u Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 I get where you're coming from winny, but at the same time how can you blame someone for protecting their mental and emotional status? I'm human and we both know how people are. Tell me that I have a problem, sure. But I'll tell you that I'm just playing it safe brother. Btw, SHE TOLD ME she slept/had sexual contact with ten guys dude.
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I get where you're coming from winny, but at the same time how can you blame someone for protecting their mental and emotional status? I'm human and we both know how people are. Tell me that I have a problem, sure. But I'll tell you that I'm just playing it safe brother. Btw, SHE TOLD ME she slept/had sexual contact with ten guys dude. why did you slept with her ?
Author inigele14u Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 why did you slept with her ? I have feelings for this woman, make no mistake. Just because I question her, does not mean I have no feelings. This hurts.
Author inigele14u Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 If you are judging her by the amount of guys she has been with, 10 guys isn't really a lot, if you even believe that number, but it sure isn't just a few, either. She is possibly lying about that number, as many women tend to do so. Either way, I would not be alarmed by the whole 10 guys thing. Many women in her age bracket tend to enter a sleeping around phase. No biggie. What I would worry about if I were you is the guy friends thing. Whenever a woman says she keeps mostly guy friends, that should set off warning bells in your head. Most of those women, for various reasons, are not relationship material. You are guaranteed to have problems with the guy friends, and she has likely banged a few of them. My advice is to enjoy what you got. You were able to hook up with a girl you struck out with back in high school, and that's kinda awesome. I know, because I did the same thing a few years ago with a girl I had a crush on back in those days. However, because of the guy friends thing, I would pursue with extreme caution. That is not quite a dealbreaker in my book, but it is pretty darn close to being one. Thank you bro. 1
umirano Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 I don't get it. What's the matter with the number 10? Anyway, this woman is not dating material, because she's just gone through a lot of crap. And you making a move on her now is kind of douchey, IMO. If it comes back to bite, no sympathy from me. You don't have the moral high ground here. She wanted help putting her life back together, not yet another dude in her pants, pretending to be a good guy. It's this kind of behavior that fncks girls up, and then they fnck boys up, and they all end up here or with atherapist bitching about the other gender, if we're lucky. It bothers me. Ugh.
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