What areas of the United States do Indian men not have a terrible image?

[Ian Fleming]

Almost every guy I've talked to whether he was from NYC or LA has told me that women in those cities tend to avoid Indian men the most out of any race. One guy I was talking to is originally from Trinidad but he looks very Indian, he told me that he would have instances where he would meet a woman, she would ask what his race is, and as soon as he told her he was Indian he could see the cringe on her face.

 

I hear it is so bad in some parts of the country like NYC and California that even escorts refuse to see Indian men because of their bad experiences with Indian immigrants.

 

It is like "Indian" is this disgusting word that is a synonym to avoid men of that group because every bad stereotype of guy that applies, it is supposed to apply to them. You're supposed to understand that being an Indian guy is undesirable and an automatic turn off to women who view the race in a bad way.

 

My experience growing up in Florida was not that bad at all as I saw Indian men in my area who were dating American women but oddly enough, the racism I've run into in Florida has been from northerners who have moved down here.

 

What cities or areas of the USA is there not a lot of the negative sentiment towards men of an Indian background?

 

If you've personally known Indian guys that did well with women, then I'd like to know what cities they had a lot of success in.

[Inci]

But the fact that you are shunning your own women, makes you racist in turn, no? I don't understand what you are complaining about.

[Redguitar35]

Almost every guy I've talked to whether he was from NYC or LA has told me that women in those cities tend to avoid Indian men the most out of any race. One guy I was talking to is originally from Trinidad but he looks very Indian, he told me that he would have instances where he would meet a woman, she would ask what his race is, and as soon as he told her he was Indian he could see the cringe on her face.

 

I hear it is so bad in some parts of the country like NYC and California that even escorts refuse to see Indian men because of their bad experiences with Indian immigrants.

 

It is like "Indian" is this disgusting word that is a synonym to avoid men of that group because every bad stereotype of guy that applies, it is supposed to apply to them. You're supposed to understand that being an Indian guy is undesirable and an automatic turn off to women who view the race in a bad way.

 

My experience growing up in Florida was not that bad at all as I saw Indian men in my area who were dating American women but oddly enough, the racism I've run into in Florida has been from northerners who have moved down here.

 

What cities or areas of the USA is there not a lot of the negative sentiment towards men of an Indian background?

 

If you've personally known Indian guys that did well with women, then I'd like to know what cities they had a lot of success in.

 

My advice would be to not worry so much about this. There are women out there who will not date you due to your race, but there are also many who won't have a problem with it. I have a dear friend who is african american living in a very white state, and he has dated and bedded more white women than many white men. If there are women who don't want him because of his skin color, he doesn't want them anyway. If you spend all your time worrying about whether your race will hurt your chances, then you will begin to hate yourself, and that's no good. You should just put your best foot forward, and keep looking until you find someone who appreciates you.

[CobraX]

My advice would be to not worry so much about this. There are women out there who will not date you due to your race, but there are also many who won't have a problem with it. I have a dear friend who is african american living in a very white state, and he has dated and bedded more white women than many white men. If there are women who don't want him because of his skin color, he doesn't want them anyway. If you spend all your time worrying about whether your race will hurt your chances, then you will begin to hate yourself, and that's no good. You should just put your best foot forward, and keep looking until you find someone who appreciates you.

 

African guys get lots of play in super white areas... Just like white guys get women like crazy in Africa.

 

Indian guys have a different thing going on. They do have to step up their game to overcome the negative stereotyping. Most women assume that an Indian guy is just looking for a short time fling before he is forced to marry a hometown girl his parents handpicked. Very few women want to be just a fling before you get married.

[winny]

African guys get lots of play in super white areas... Just like white guys get women like crazy in Africa.

 

Indian guys have a different thing going on. They do have to step up their game to overcome the negative stereotyping. Most women assume that an Indian guy is just looking for a short time fling before he is forced to marry a hometown girl his parents handpicked. Very few women want to be just a fling before you get married.

 

I am Indian female and I agree to this... Indian men do have weird mentality and treat women pretty bad.... They assume all white girls are promiscuous and want a traditional indian girl to marry... Maybe OP is different but thats the general image women have about Indian guys..

[Miss Peach]

They assume all white girls are promiscuous

 

I work with a lot of Indians and this has been the belief of some of them who hit on me attempting to cheat on their wives.

 

For me I really don't discriminate and one of my serious exes was Indian but I find a few things that tend to turn me off:

 

- Many of them have a large ego and will not admit any wrongdoing. At work I have seen them shift the blame to others, point fingers, cover things up, step on each other for promotions, etc. I know this isn't all of them but it's something I've seen by quite a few people. This isn't a personality type I would want to deal with in a relationship.

 

- Many go really slowly by American standards. Most of the ones I met through OLD who didn't try to sleep with me right away just wrote on and on but never asked me out. I don't want to be a pen pal with someone I've never met for months.

 

- The ones who actually did go out with me tried to push things towards sex quickly. This adds to the stereotype that they are just looking for fun before marrying an Indian girl.

 

- Many of them want more of the home making type than I will ever be.

 

- Many are used to getting married quickly and I don't want to make that type of decision after a few months of dating. When I date and don't get married right away they are constantly asking when I'm going to marry. They seem really confused I am OK being single and it's not because no man wants me.

[Sweetfish]

Your best bet is to work on your individual self and not worry about the stigma. The stimga is the nail on your coffin. Dont worry about other indian guys. Worry about you. If Morgan freeman worried about his color, the way he looks, the imprefection he had we would miss out on some really great american movies and programming and he would royally screwed him self.

[winny]

 

- Many are used to getting married quickly and I don't want to make that type of decision after a few months of dating. When I date and don't get married right away they are constantly asking when I'm going to marry. They seem really confused I am OK being single and it's not because no man wants me.

 

OMG this is so true!!

[alphamale]

I'm indian and I've never had any trouble in the Detroit area. But then again I was raised here in the US.

[SwordofFlame]

How about tech hubs like San Francisco, San Jose or Seattle?

[Ian Fleming]

I'm indian and I've never had any trouble in the Detroit area. But then again I was raised here in the US.

 

Do you know of other Indian guys who've had a great time in the Detroit area?

 

One of my good friends went to UMich (Ann Arbor not Detroit, I know) and we get along fine, he said he had an Indian friend growing up who was like a brother to him.

 

Just like you, I was born and raised in the US but ethnically, I still look Indian so it matters in that regard.

[Ian Fleming]

How about tech hubs like San Francisco, San Jose or Seattle?

 

San Fran is terrible, that is what all Indian guys I know tell me. Even Indian girls in the city prefer to go for white guys and the influx of Indian immigrants in tech has given Indian men a bad reputation. I've never had a good experience with women from that city itself and a couple I knew openly said they're "just not into Indians". I'd imagine San Jose is the same way, not too familiar with Seattle.

[utterer of lies]

What areas of the United States do Indian men not have a terrible image?

 

None.

 

Sorry.

[preraph]

I don't think it's by area. I think it just depends on the people. Like back in the 80s I had a female Indian assistant who was forced to marry in an arranged marriage and also was hearing horror stories about Indian men, so I was appalled by all that. Also back then, these guys who worked in the warehouse used to just openly leer at me, and I didn't like that at all. It was rude.

 

Nowadays, I classify Indian people as mostly good people, and I think our cultures are much more blended than they were back then.

 

But you still have the hard-line Christians who don't like anyone who isn't Christian. However, most people I know, once they know someone is Indian, are fine with that, but so many people aren't fine with Muslims, that until they know they're Indian and not Muslim, they may be hostile or fearful.

 

I think nowadays most people feel kindly toward the Hindi, but the basic wall that is up is simply because people fear what is different from them. And not only fear it, perhaps the bigger issue is they feel awkward about it. Like do I say hi to a person when I don't know if they speak my language, or would that be putting them on the spot? No different than how they are with disabled people. They don't know whether to talk to them or if that will cause confusion, I guess you could say.

 

Now, whether someone wants to date outside their own culture or race is strictly another matter. Some people simply are not attracted to anyone who isn't their same race. Others came from different maybe more diverse backgrounds and have less trouble with that. So it's down to the person.

 

I hope you find acceptance. I know it's unfair for the burden to fall on you, but always be sure you are looking friendly and open and it's good for people to hear you speak so they know whether they can deal with a different accent from their own.

[TheTraveler]

Almost every guy I've talked to whether he was from NYC or LA has told me that women in those cities tend to avoid Indian men the most out of any race. One guy I was talking to is originally from Trinidad but he looks very Indian, he told me that he would have instances where he would meet a woman, she would ask what his race is, and as soon as he told her he was Indian he could see the cringe on her face.

 

I hear it is so bad in some parts of the country like NYC and California that even escorts refuse to see Indian men because of their bad experiences with Indian immigrants.

 

It is like "Indian" is this disgusting word that is a synonym to avoid men of that group because every bad stereotype of guy that applies, it is supposed to apply to them. You're supposed to understand that being an Indian guy is undesirable and an automatic turn off to women who view the race in a bad way.

 

My experience growing up in Florida was not that bad at all as I saw Indian men in my area who were dating American women but oddly enough, the racism I've run into in Florida has been from northerners who have moved down here.

 

What cities or areas of the USA is there not a lot of the negative sentiment towards men of an Indian background?

 

If you've personally known Indian guys that did well with women, then I'd like to know what cities they had a lot of success in.

 

I am going to guess an area that has a low population of Indians, hence you would stand out.

 

Also, Florida is two separate parts. I'm going to assume you're in central or south florida.

 

Another, what type of women are you sexually attracted to? That would help

[Ian Fleming]

I am going to guess an area that has a low population of Indians, hence you would stand out.

 

Also, Florida is two separate parts. I'm going to assume you're in central or south florida.

 

Another, what type of women are you sexually attracted to? That would help

 

white girls, ideally hot blondes

[umirano]

white girls, ideally hot blondes

 

I suppose this rather narrow and shallow preference will not make it any easier for you.

[Kempeitai]

OP i got some bad news. Most girls are not gonna be interested in Indian dudes.

 

Ask yourself, how many men in the US would be interested in an Aboriginal girl from Austrailia.

[Gaeta]

white girls, ideally hot blondes

 

Then start hitting the gym, get a cool car, and make money. You know how many men want to date hot blondes? Why would a hot blonde date you? Then give a reason or 2 to these women to want to want to date you.

[Ian Fleming]

Then start hitting the gym, get a cool car, and make money. You know how many men want to date hot blondes? Why would a hot blonde date you? Then give a reason or 2 to these women to want to want to date you.

 

Because some already did down here in Florida and I would like to know of other states where it won't be all that unusual.

[Ian Fleming]

Sad to see how rough things are for Indian men in the USA to where successful Indian guys, in regards to dating and getting girls, are unheard of in this country. I guess I'll always deal with the backlash and being singled out for being an Indian guy that does do well with women. So sad to see that the culture of my ancestors has produced such undesirable men who have no success with attractive women in the USA whatsoever, the perception and reality are both terrible.

 

It is really something that is tough to understand unless you're Indian yourself I guess. As a white guy you're used to seeing white guys doing well with women and same with black men but with Indian men, it is unheard of and it just creates this brutally negative feedback loop in your head.

 

Guess I lucked out in Florida, things seem to be very hostile towards Indian men in other parts of the USA. Would have suspected, yankees in Florida are by far the most racist people I've met and they are the main ones who take issues with me dating white girls.

[Kempeitai]

Sad to see how rough things are for Indian men in the USA to where successful Indian guys, in regards to dating and getting girls, are unheard of in this country. I guess I'll always deal with the backlash and being singled out for being an Indian guy that does do well with women. So sad to see that the culture of my ancestors has produced such undesirable men who have no success with attractive women in the USA whatsoever, the perception and reality are both terrible.

 

It is really something that is tough to understand unless you're Indian yourself I guess. As a white guy you're used to seeing white guys doing well with women and same with black men but with Indian men, it is unheard of and it just creates this brutally negative feedback loop in your head.

 

Guess I lucked out in Florida, things seem to be very hostile towards Indian men in other parts of the USA. Would have suspected, yankees in Florida are by far the most racist people I've met and they are the main ones who take issues with me dating white girls.

 

No one said life was fair.

[normal person]

Because some already did down here in Florida and I would like to know of other states where it won't be all that unusual.

 

What makes you think that the state someone lives in is the variable that makes you attracted to a certain race or not?

 

What state people live in doesn't affect their attraction towards one race or another, and you're using anec dotal evidence. You say you had bad experiences in NYC and LA and you've written them off. By that logic, they're bad. Well I live in NYC and my friend went out with an Indian guy recently (not sure if he was Indian born or US born or the level of westernization). So if you use that example and extrapolate it, NYC girls are open to it.

 

The common theme I notice is that Indian guys who are westernized do just fine with western women (yes, I know this is anec dotal evidence in a way too, but it's not quite so arbitrary). The Indian guys who aren't and have trouble grasping the nuances of western culture don't have as much luck. Regardless of what state they live in.

[Ian Fleming]

What makes you think that the state someone lives in is the variable that makes you attracted to a certain race or not?

 

What state people live in doesn't affect their attraction towards one race or another, and you're using anec dotal evidence. You say you had bad experiences in NYC and LA and you've written them off. By that logic, they're bad. Well I live in NYC and my friend went out with an Indian guy recently (not sure if he was Indian born or US born or the level of westernization). So if you use that example and extrapolate it, NYC girls are open to it.

 

The common theme I notice is that Indian guys who are westernized do just fine with western women (yes, I know this is anec dotal evidence in a way too, but it's not quite so arbitrary). The Indian guys who aren't and have trouble grasping the nuances of western culture don't have as much luck. Regardless of what state they live in.

 

I think it does, there is no vendetta against Indian men in Florida but there seems to be one among people in the northeast. All of this does play a role as girls who are brought up in these areas are told to hate and avoid Indian looking men which makes them avoid them.

 

Not sure if westernized or not has a difference, you can change behavior but you can't change your racial appearance and women are primarily judging men by ethnic appearance.

[ElizabethIII]

Indian guys have a different thing going on. They do have to step up their game to overcome the negative stereotyping. Most women assume that an Indian guy is just looking for a short time fling before he is forced to marry a hometown girl his parents handpicked. Very few women want to be just a fling before you get married.

 

There is some truth in this. Also Indian parents have a reputation for controlling their children's lives.

 

My Indian colleague at work: her parents told her and each of her siblings what they were going to study in college and what career they were going to undertake. I said to her your parents cant tell you what to do....apparently they do.

 

The last Indian guy I was involved with: his mother (not his father) told him what career he was doing, and now she has told him he has to get married and have children. I said to him what am I doing here then. I doubt as a white woman I would be accepted. I am sorry to say I could not live my life with a man whose mother controlled the shots and influenced everything he did. In the western world, you choose your own path in life and grow the hell up and make your own decisions. Doing what your parents want you to do is no life at all and I couldnt be with a man who preferred his mother over a wife and did what she wanted.

Edited January 1, 2017 by ElizabethIII