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Why does He maintain a communication with this woman,this sounds off to me?!!

yasmine16

By yasmine16
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Yes please, My aunt which is a very wise lady told me the same, why don't you contact someone that knows your boyfriend, or that women or something. I told her that I don't have her last name just her name neither do I know her husbands, my bf does not have any close friends here were we live just an old man that has a business and is friend of his family.

 

I know that spying would sound Inmoral or not appropriate but I believe sometimes in life we have to walk outside the lane, and do what we have to do to get certain answers, I was thinking how about an email and send it to him pretending to be the woman and see how he reacts? what do you ? or how would you do it?

 

Your BF had you call her once, look up your old phone bills for her number and see if something comes up from that.

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yasmine16 Member

yasmine16

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Your BF had you call her once, look up your old phone bills for her number and see if something comes up from that.

 

@gaeta,I called from his mobile not mines.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Does she always communicate with him on his cell or she emails? or FB or any other social media? Do you have access to your bf's phone bill?

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yasmine16 Member

yasmine16

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Does she always communicate with him on his cell or she emails? or FB or any other social media? Do you have access to your bf's phone bill?

 

 

No,I don't have access to the phone bills

he told me she calls his mobile and emails him(mostly emails) that's how they communicate. so both. He has a Facebook profile but he told me that he does no use it, I don't have him added either. he is not ''the social media type of man''. But do you think that sending him an email pretending to be her would work? at least I know her first name.

bachdude Established Member

bachdude

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OP, I'm not seeing anything here to indicate an affair, either emotional or physical.

 

 

You assume he is lying to you and then hold that against him. That's not fair.

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dumbass2 Established Member

dumbass2

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At this point I don't think you are going to get an answer that will satisfy you even if he told you everything. You say it will, but you just sound very very mistrusting of your boyfriend and since that is the case you should just end it because the trust is gone and you say there are other issues. If you like drama, then by all means keep going. Send an email pretending to be the female friend? Are you kidding me? Do you and your boyfriend a big favor and just end this already. Keep thinking and doing what you say you will and he will be the one breaking up with you.

Edited by dumbass2
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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But do you think that sending him an email pretending to be her would work? at least I know her first name.

 

He would have to be a real idiot to fall for that. It's a kid's game to verify the IP of an email and he'd know right away the email is not from New York but from the Islands. You also do not know her writing style. She may be very talkative or very short, she may always type the same grammar mistake and you're not aware of it. She may always end her communication with the same thing, again he'd know right away something isn't right.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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No,I don't have access to the phone bills

he told me she calls his mobile and emails him(mostly emails) that's how they communicate. so both. He has a Facebook profile but he told me that he does no use it, I don't have him added either. he is not ''the social media type of man''. But do you think that sending him an email pretending to be her would work? at least I know her first name.

 

Do you have access to the pc he uses? if yes than install one of those programs that records his typing.

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yasmine16 Member

yasmine16

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Do you have access to the pc he uses? if yes than install one of those programs that records his typing.

 

 

I wish I had access all those things but I don't, Oh well, I feel sad, I get it its not cool to break up just like that,I don't want that, but what are my choices? we don't know anything concrete. and I am not planning to ask him again.its just going to be worse.

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yasmine16 Member

yasmine16

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Another thing that is difficult to handle from him is that he has ADHD,google it, its very exhausting to be in a relationship with an ADHDer. even though you love the person.

heavenonearth Established Member

heavenonearth

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Another thing that is difficult to handle from him is that he has ADHD,google it, its very exhausting to be in a relationship with an ADHDer. even though you love the person.

 

I have Aspergers. My ex has ADHD. We made it work.

Whilst I understand that it can be difficult to be around someone who is not neurotypical, when you love someone, you make it work.

It also helps if the both are open and accepting of it, and meet each other halfway. That's how it worked for us (our relationship didn't end because of his ADHD or my Aspergers).

 

It seems to me that you keep bringing up flaws he has that may be not a dealbreaker in general, because you think you can't just break up with him on the grounds of that incident with the woman who is in an abusive relationship.

But this just further shows that you may not be a good match. You are unable to deal with his ADHD, you are very jealous without much to back it up, and you are unhappy with the way he communicates with you. These are already three big reasons to break up.

 

What will you do?

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I wish I had access all those things but I don't, Oh well, I feel sad, I get it its not cool to break up just like that,I don't want that, but what are my choices? we don't know anything concrete. and I am not planning to ask him again.its just going to be worse.

 

At this point you have nothing to lose asking him that woman's full name and number. If he has nothing to hide than he'll give it to you, if he doesn't want then put an end to this as you wish.

Edited by Gaeta
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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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AGREED 100% he is not for me, I can't deal with him anymore. if you where me you would understand what I am saying, my bf is too complicated.

 

 

it's not complicated at all. He is trying to help a friend long distance with a very serious problem and you can't tolerate him helping a friend. It's very plain to all here.

 

Like for example: if I have fresh breath minty breath he hates that!!, and automatically says:'' did you have Altoids I hate them, your breath smells like them, like if you woken up and wash your teeth'' so am like:' so you prefer me to have bad breath' whenever I look good he wants to bring me down or pick a flaw on me, he hates the fact that I am confident of my image!,what he does is not nice.

 

Seriously his Selfsteem has to be on the floor to act this way!.

''

 

then leave him alone. Problem is solved forever more.

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yasmine16 Member

yasmine16

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@gaeta Besides this issue, I also feel like this is because he is graduating soon (feb) and we have not sat down spoke seriously about our future together that has me feeling insecure. and very doubtful.Like I don't know what to expect. its really going round and round my head over and over, I don't even know how to bring it out to him:love: ughh

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