savvy2008 Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 I went on a date with this man I met online, about a year ago. It was just a Starbucks date, only lasted an hour or so. I thought it went well. He texted me almost immediately after saying how he had a great time and wants to see see each other again. From then on he'd say when he was free and I'd confirm when I was free (not specific time, more like a day or a weekend) but then he'd never follow through. He would continue texting, but not mention meeting up again. Couple weeks later we'd go through the same cycle again. Eventually I started responding really shortly and cold to him, he must have gotten the hint because we texting after a while. Fast forward to now, he has contacted me again. Started the same cycle. I asked if he was just looking for fwb and he said no. Should I start ignoring him? I don't want to waste time with him anymore. What is he after?
Author savvy2008 Posted December 27, 2016 Author Posted December 27, 2016 I should mention that he said that he never thought I would be interested, to which I replied that I was and that's why I kept responding when I was free to meet again. I thought that would clear things up for him... Today he asked me a question and when I responded and asked him the same, he responded shortly with "ah ok". I said something about the short response, jokingly. He responded that asking the same question back gets old. I think I'm pretty good at texting. I respond to things, I give the person something to work with to keep the conversation going. I feel like saying, if we met again and saw each other in real life, maybe we'd have more to talk about.....thoughts?
winny Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 Wow, I once came across such a guy who would ask me out and then flake... it happened few times before he completely disappeared. It's exhausting. If he is repeating the cycle then that's a huge red flag. Maybe he has a GF or wife? How well do you know him?
Popsicle Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 Yes, just ignore him. He's probably married.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 If he hasn't arranged a date, I'd say he probably wants a text buddy for some attention, which doesn't sound all that exciting or fulfilling for you. After a year of no contact, he couldn't have been that interested, right? It kind of smells a bit desperate on his part, or worse, he is bored and searching for attention outside of a current relationship. If you're really curious you need to be upfront and just ask him what he wants so you know whether you're wasting your time or not. If he doesn't give you a straight answer, save yourself the bother and block his number.
Mr Scorpio Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 He doesn't seem to be putting much (or any) effort in. How hard is it to reply to a text?
Author savvy2008 Posted December 27, 2016 Author Posted December 27, 2016 I rarely text him first because his texts aren't extremely interesting, usually kind of bland. That and he sends a picture of himself with every start of a conversation, which I find to be quite odd. He's invited me over to his house multiple times (back when we met initially) but I said I didn't want a fwb thing and he replied that it's not what he meant by inviting me over. I don't think he is married because he's said to contact him any time I decide I do want to come over and hang out....it's just so weird. He makes little comments that would make it appear he is shallow/looking for fwb but when I asked him, he said he misses the little things you get when you're in a relationship. He basically wants that kind of a connection again. He says he's interested in me, will text me weekly at least, and mentions meeting...and then nothing.What is he thinking, is he confused about what he wants?
kidm Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 I rarely text him first because his texts aren't extremely interesting, usually kind of bland. That and he sends a picture of himself with every start of a conversation, which I find to be quite odd. He's invited me over to his house multiple times (back when we met initially) but I said I didn't want a fwb thing and he replied that it's not what he meant by inviting me over. I don't think he is married because he's said to contact him any time I decide I do want to come over and hang out....it's just so weird. He makes little comments that would make it appear he is shallow/looking for fwb but when I asked him, he said he misses the little things you get when you're in a relationship. He basically wants that kind of a connection again. He says he's interested in me, will text me weekly at least, and mentions meeting...and then nothing.What is he thinking, is he confused about what he wants? He's not interested in a relationship and that's why he disappeared when you didn't take him up on his offer to "hang out" at his house and isn't making any effort to date you properly. He misses the little things you get when you are in a relationship means he wants someone he can bang on the regular, whisper sweet nothings to her and send on her way until the next time when he wants the little things again. He is not looking for a serious committed relationship and his actions match that. I'd move on and stop responding to him. 2
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