katty Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Well just to catch everyone up to speed, finally talked to boyfriend, and we are officially done. The conversation went well I guess because he told me that he had started thinking about us in the future and could I really see us together in the long run? I admitted to him that I try not to look to far ahead on account of that is when I start screwing up the r/s. He has been going to mass alot with his mom and he said that our biggest problem in the long run is I am not catholic. I have to respect that even though I think we were together to short of a time to be thinking about the future. He said he just wanted to be fair to me and it would only hurt us both in the future and make things very awkward down the line. I agreed and told him I understood and wished him a great life, I told him I appreciated his being honest and that now that I knew we were over I could start moving on. he then started bringing up how my cell phone rings all of the time. BTW when I am with him I never answer it unless it is family b/c I would rather spend time with him, but a few weeks ago he made a comment about my not answering it and I got a phone call around 2 am one morning and he told me to answer it. I did, it was a guy friend who was drunk at the bar and was trying to get me to come and pick him up. I ask if he didn't have a ride and not to drive himself, he said he had a ride but wanted me to pick him up anyway, I declined. This caused a huge fight between my bf and me. Well now he breaks up with me and wants to throw this calls up in my face. He said "What do you mean move on? I told him that I meant I could start going out with others, I told him I had been ask out by a few guys lately and that I would probably go out with them. He got upset and told me he didn't want me to go out with other guys. WTF. He started asking me who I would go out with, etc. When we first started going out I had been out a few times with this one guy but broke it off when my bf and I started seeing each other more frequently. I ask him what he expected me to do, sit at home and cry over him for the rest of my life. He said he didn't expect me to go out so soon, that I must have been planning and wanting to go out with them,, I said No mainly I will go out just to fill the time and help me get over you, he said that is what your friends and family are for. He then said " Go on your dates, thats what you've wanted all along, I don't want you to and I don't like it but go ahead. He then told me that he couldn't sleep without me so he had been staying late at his moms house until like 4 am playing games, etc. We talked a little longer and then he said I wish you were here lying beside me now, and then he said I miss you. I am so confused. I said well if you already miss me are you sure this is the right decision he wouldn't answer. We chatted a few minutes more and then I told him I was going to let him go. I said Goodbye and he said Goodbye sweetie in a low quiet voice. I hate break ups they suck.
Marshbear Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 This is typical of a break up where two people still respect each other but there are a few things that will get in the way of a LTR. He still likes you and he feels hurt that you would date so soon after breaking up. I would just go about your daily activities and things should become ok between the two of you. After a time you might even be able to be friends. I really don't think you even have to do NC with each other unless you feel you need it or he continues to pester you with calls or e-mails. I wish you the best.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear This is typical of a break up where two people still respect each other but there are a few things that will get in the way of a LTR. He still likes you and he feels hurt that you would date so soon after breaking up. I would just go about your daily activities and things should become ok between the two of you. After a time you might even be able to be friends. I really don't think you even have to do NC with each other unless you feel you need it or he continues to pester you with calls or e-mails. I wish you the best. I second MarshBear .. Great advice
katty Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 I have been confused all day, especially since he called me today and told me about the rumor that was going around about me. I know I should not think more into this phone call, other than he was giving me a heads up on what this d---head was saying about me, but it does hurt my feelings that he would even have to ask. I am also rethinking telling him the truth about the date. Maybe I should have just said something like Don't ask me that, ok well I will just try to not over analyze this and take it for what it was just a call not a indication that he missed me. Why couldn't he have just been calling to chat and not tell me that garbage because now I am upset over this guy saying these things about me and don't know what I should do about this vicious lie. thanks for everything.
Marshbear Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 I would say he called you not just to tell you about the rumor but also that he does miss you and wanted to hear your voice. He probably doesn't believe the rumor but it was an excuse to call you. He still likes you and you still like him and it will take time to carry on with your lives without the other being a big part of it. Time will take care of this so just talk when you feel the need and enjoy each other in the new relationship that you will make. I envy your break up that you still can speak to each other and you don't hate or be bitter. Peace...
katty Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Thank you so much. It makes me feel better to think that he doesn't believe the rumor. I have spent most of the day since he called going over the conversation. It makes me feel better to think that maybe he did miss hearing my voice. I just wish we could have made it work. We got along great. I do appreciate your giving me a male point of view. I am guessing your break up didn't go as well. I can't promise how long we will be able to keep up the nice conversations because I could tell today that he was mad at me for going out last night but considering he was the one that broke up with me he shouldn't be upset with me.
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