Here we go again.. (She Doesn't reply)

[AdamantyumKrystal]

SO, it has been almost one year since i stopped pursuing this girl coz .. well, she didn't respond to one of my texts after months of texting

 

Nooow, after so much time i told myself that maybe it's worth to give it another shot so one month ago i started texting her again, things went well, not the fastest replier but she did fine , yesterday she even sent me 3 or four pics of herself and wished me a merry christmas,i sent her 2 pics with me also.

 

TO which she replied i'm cute and i think most of the time she is flirting a lil bit or using kisses emoticons with everyone? So my last message to her yesterday was a link with a song , asking her if she likes it, now it has been 10 hours or more since she seen my TEXT and still doesn't reply.

 

I know she is playing hard to get but isn't it too much? u tell a guy he is cute, u send him pics trying to look good for him and suddenly stop texting him because he is sooo "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE"?

 

Maybe i am overeacting/overthinking again but i have to keep my self-respect HIGH now low ffs, i did everything by the book,

-didn't text her often(maybe once a few days,sometimes even 1 week bcoz i didn't want to look desperate , i was in the past , big mistake!)

-didn't compliment her too much just enough to realize im into her

-not replying instantly so she won't notice i'm online all day and i like chatting too much )

 

I did everything perfect and now she is throwing me this?

 

How would she feel like if i sent her pics and tell her she is cute , kiss her and then go cold turkey?

 

I do not think i overreact since she replied to some comments on her profile pic, man this is really stupid , social media ruins dating, like seriously online chat is so much worse than live interaction, and no i cannot meet her yet since she is in Paris and im in another country, she will return home in a few months maybe earlier, she said many times that she would like to meet me,planned to do some stuff togheder but now she doesn't respond to a single text again? -_-

 

I think she may reply fast if i text her again but do i really need to go so low to show a girl who plays super-hard to freaking get?? I know she is carrier-driven and a strong independent woman but that does not necesarrily has to make u into a mindgamingLoving ice-queen!

 

Aaaand i know she cannot apologise with anything since is Christmas and she is totally free now!

 

one more point would be that this gurl takes long to respond to her girlfriends also?? i dunno if dat's a good or a bad thing but i really need some insight from u girls, especially women who played like dis or still do,

 

Either i'm ultra paranoid and overthink stuff either i am right and she is starting to lose interest or already LOST>

[phineas]

SO, it has been almost one year since i stopped pursuing this girl coz .. well, she didn't respond to one of my texts after months of texting

 

 

Months of texting.

was there also months of dating?

[Redhead14]

SO, it has been almost one year since i stopped pursuing this girl coz .. well, she didn't respond to one of my texts after months of texting

 

Nooow, after so much time i told myself that maybe it's worth to give it another shot so one month ago i started texting her again, things went well, not the fastest replier but she did fine , yesterday she even sent me 3 or four pics of herself and wished me a merry christmas,i sent her 2 pics with me also.

 

TO which she replied i'm cute and i think most of the time she is flirting a lil bit or using kisses emoticons with everyone? So my last message to her yesterday was a link with a song , asking her if she likes it, now it has been 10 hours or more since she seen my TEXT and still doesn't reply.

 

I know she is playing hard to get but isn't it too much? u tell a guy he is cute, u send him pics trying to look good for him and suddenly stop texting him because he is sooo "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE"?

 

Maybe i am overeacting/overthinking again but i have to keep my self-respect HIGH now low ffs, i did everything by the book,

-didn't text her often(maybe once a few days,sometimes even 1 week bcoz i didn't want to look desperate , i was in the past , big mistake!)

-didn't compliment her too much just enough to realize im into her

-not replying instantly so she won't notice i'm online all day and i like chatting too much )

 

I did everything perfect and now she is throwing me this?

 

How would she feel like if i sent her pics and tell her she is cute , kiss her and then go cold turkey?

 

I do not think i overreact since she replied to some comments on her profile pic, man this is really stupid , social media ruins dating, like seriously online chat is so much worse than live interaction, and no i cannot meet her yet since she is in Paris and im in another country, she will return home in a few months maybe earlier, she said many times that she would like to meet me,planned to do some stuff togheder but now she doesn't respond to a single text again? -_-

 

I think she may reply fast if i text her again but do i really need to go so low to show a girl who plays super-hard to freaking get?? I know she is carrier-driven and a strong independent woman but that does not necesarrily has to make u into a mindgamingLoving ice-queen!

 

Aaaand i know she cannot apologise with anything since is Christmas and she is totally free now!

 

one more point would be that this gurl takes long to respond to her girlfriends also?? i dunno if dat's a good or a bad thing but i really need some insight from u girls, especially women who played like dis or still do,

 

Either i'm ultra paranoid and overthink stuff either i am right and she is starting to lose interest or already LOST>

 

I did everything perfect . . . Apparently, you didn't or else she would be showing more interest and you would have had a date at least. And, she is telling you that you are too "chatty". In other words, you are bothering her with all your texting so back off.

 

She isn't playing mind games, you're doing that to yourself by thinking that she must be really interested in you and holding back. If a woman likes a guy and wants to date him, he'll know it.

 

On top of all this, months of texting is a dead end and become boring and monotonous. Even if she were interested in you, the fact that you haven't "upped" things by asking her out after so much time has passed, I doubt she believes you are actually sincere.

 

one more point would be that this gurl takes long to respond to her girlfriends also?? -- She's not a good text responder, has a busy life that doesn't revolve around texting and/or perhaps those "girlfriends" are not that important to her either . . .

[GemmaUK]

You sound very angry.

Maybe she has had a sense of that so is distancing herself.

 

I know for a fact I would if I caught a whiff of it.

[5x5]

Months of texting to no end is a dead end.

[stillafool]

Why would you start back texting a girl who treated you badly the first time? It isn't that she's playing hard to get she's just not interested. Why this girl? Why not another?

[BoatsBoatsBoats]

yesterday she even sent me 3 or four pics of herself and wished me a merry christmas

 

She most likely sent the same pictures to all her other friends too. Hell, I sent a happy selfie wearing a santa hat to my friends on Snapchat wishing them a merry christmas and they did the same to me. Just a friendly gesture.

 

So my last message to her yesterday was a link with a song , asking her if she likes it, now it has been 10 hours or more since she seen my TEXT and still doesn't reply.

 

It's christmas, she is probably hanging out with her family. Reading a text and giving a quick reply while having company is one thing, playing a song loudly from your phone for ~3 minutes is just plain rude.

 

I know she is playing hard to get but isn't it too much? u tell a guy he is cute, u send him pics trying to look good for him and suddenly stop texting him because he is sooo "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE"?

 

She isn't playing hard to get. She was just being nice. People do that.

 

Maybe i am overeacting/overthinking

 

Yupp, you sure are.

 

How would she feel like if i sent her pics and tell her she is cute , kiss her and then go cold turkey?

 

Sending a kiss emoji and actually kissing you are two VEEERY different things. She didn't kiss you. At all.

 

she said many times that she would like to meet me,planned to do some stuff togheder but now she doesn't respond to a single text again? -_-

 

Friends say stuff like "Oh we have to meet up!!" all the time without thinking much about it. She probably likes you as a person, you're just not very high on her priority list.

 

I think she may reply fast if i text her again but do i really need to go so low to show a girl who plays super-hard to freaking get?? I know she is carrier-driven and a strong independent woman but that does not necesarrily has to make u into a mindgamingLoving ice-queen!

 

She is not playing hard to get. This isn't some kind of evil mastermind plan from her in order to win you over. She is just not that into you. You must be very conceited to think that a girl must be a "mindgamingLoving ice-queen" just because she is not all over you.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

I did everything perfect . . . Apparently, you didn't or else she would be showing more interest and you would have had a date at least. And, she is telling you that you are too "chatty". In other words, you are bothering her with all your texting so back off.

 

She isn't playing mind games, you're doing that to yourself by thinking that she must be really interested in you and holding back. If a woman likes a guy and wants to date him, he'll know it.

 

On top of all this, months of texting is a dead end and become boring and monotonous. Even if she were interested in you, the fact that you haven't "upped" things by asking her out after so much time has passed, I doubt she believes you are actually sincere.

 

one more point would be that this gurl takes long to respond to her girlfriends also?? -- She's not a good text responder, has a busy life that doesn't revolve around texting and/or perhaps those "girlfriends" are not that important to her either . . .

 

Too chatty if i text her 2 or 3 times a week? maybe less? oh cmo'n u got be fourteen (you) me ^^

 

Again u have misread what i have wrote, she replied to some comments on a picture, she must be really busy to see my message and don't reply while replying to some futile comments made by random indians on facebook,

 

Figure out a date? uhm.. have u read the part where i wrote we made plans to go out when she comes back? and how eager she was to meet me?

 

Months of texts is boring ? well then is it more boring then if as a stranger i text her suddenly "HEY U DONT KNOW ME BUT I KNOW U,WANNA DATE IMMEDIATELY"? was it better to text her once per 3 months or.. 6? and i think almost a year break was enough for her to figure herself out,

 

Look gurl i dunno who u are or how old are u but if u don't even bother to read what the poster wrote then don't be angry if i don't bother to explain myself to a lazy pun ^_^

[AdamantyumKrystal]

Why would you start back texting a girl who treated you badly the first time? It isn't that she's playing hard to get she's just not interested. Why this girl? Why not another?

 

Why not? If i'm free and she's free, then what is it to lose?

[AdamantyumKrystal]

You sound very angry.

Maybe she has had a sense of that so is distancing herself.

 

I know for a fact I would if I caught a whiff of it.

 

 

I'm a patient piece of diamond so it's rarely when i get angry over something or someone pretending to be into me while giving false hope and toying around so xcuse me while i try to find a decisive woman and avoid all the pointless drama

[AdamantyumKrystal]

She most likely sent the same pictures to all her other friends too. Hell, I sent a happy selfie wearing a santa hat to my friends on Snapchat wishing them a merry christmas and they did the same to me. Just a friendly gesture.

 

 

 

It's christmas, she is probably hanging out with her family. Reading a text and giving a quick reply while having company is one thing, playing a song loudly from your phone for ~3 minutes is just plain rude.

 

 

 

She isn't playing hard to get. She was just being nice. People do that.

 

 

 

Yupp, you sure are.

 

 

 

Sending a kiss emoji and actually kissing you are two VEEERY different things. She didn't kiss you. At all.

 

 

 

Friends say stuff like "Oh we have to meet up!!" all the time without thinking much about it. She probably likes you as a person, you're just not very high on her priority list.

 

 

 

She is not playing hard to get. This isn't some kind of evil mastermind plan from her in order to win you over. She is just not that into you. You must be very conceited to think that a girl must be a "mindgamingLoving ice-queen" just because she is not all over you.

 

Im 22 i know when someone is nice and when someone is flirting, which she diiid, i'd rather prefer to be tossed aside like a piece of **** than be lead on by a imature brat.

 

Well, i'm not high on her priority list she won't get that either,but judging from the conversations we had she seemed really into me, gosh i'm starting to think of what my friend who met her said once, that maybe she's bipolar and doesn't know what she wants. Sheyt man why do i always have to choose the damaged ones -_-

[AdamantyumKrystal]

For anyone who didn't bother to read my thread and starts making futile comments please stop from writing and don't comment if i have to come and xplain the situation to each in particular, i wrote the post for a reason, u don't just come in read what u like and comment in a objective way, and no i don't care if u get upset or something similar, this is a online website to vent out, which is why i am going to do, and yea i have a great "releasing" so if u don't want to get a bucket of sarcasm to the head please refrain ^_^

[Redhead14]

Too chatty if i text her 2 or 3 times a week? maybe less? oh cmo'n u got be fourteen (you) me ^^

 

Again u have misread what i have wrote, she replied to some comments on a picture, she must be really busy to see my message and don't reply while replying to some futile comments made by random indians on facebook,

 

Figure out a date? uhm.. have u read the part where i wrote we made plans to go out when she comes back? and how eager she was to meet me?

 

Months of texts is boring ? well then is it more boring then if as a stranger i text her suddenly "HEY U DONT KNOW ME BUT I KNOW U,WANNA DATE IMMEDIATELY"? was it better to text her once per 3 months or.. 6? and i think almost a year break was enough for her to figure herself out,

 

Look gurl i dunno who u are or how old are u but if u don't even bother to read what the poster wrote then don't be angry if i don't bother to explain myself to a lazy pun ^_^

 

Son, I am a 57 year old woman finishing my PhD and currently enjoying a very loving, stable relationship that didn't start with even a week of just texting. He picked up the phone and called me once in a while and actually asked me out on dates.

 

And, you wouldn't ask someone for a date from OLD immediately, but you also shouldn't waste a lot of time texting either. And, texting 2 or 3 times a week might be too much for HER from YOU. She doesn't reply because . . . she doesn't want to.

 

I read what you wrote and it's poorly written and at a about the 6th grade level so perhaps I did misunderstand some things, but what's clear is that you don't know when to quit chasing a girl and cling to the tiniest bit of attention you do get from a girl.

 

Everyone who responded to you said the same thing -- she isn't interested and you should move on.

 

You can spend your time being pissy and contentious or you can take the advice you asked for and put it to good use. We sometimes dole out our advice without sugar-coating because the poster clearly needs to be hit on the head with a dose of reality because they just aren't getting "it".

[phineas]

For anyone who didn't bother to read my thread and starts making futile comments please stop from writing and don't comment if i have to come and xplain the situation to each in particular, i wrote the post for a reason, u don't just come in read what u like and comment in a objective way, and no i don't care if u get upset or something similar, this is a online website to vent out, which is why i am going to do, and yea i have a great "releasing" so if u don't want to get a bucket of sarcasm to the head please refrain ^_^

 

she isn't interested.

She responds because she knows you want her and the validation gives her the warm and fuzzies.

 

pro-tip, when everyone here is telling you that you are wasting your time it isn't because we didn't read your post correctly.

 

It's because we have seen this same situation dozens of times and know you are wasting your time.

 

but keep on keeping on.

Maybe when she has no more options and really really really bored she might let you take her out and spend money on her knowing you want her then after tell you "let's just be friends"

[winny]

Hmmm...

I read your whole post and here is the thing.

When 2 people are into each other - NO RULES are needed to be followed.

 

When you have tried a lot for something but it still doesn't seem to work out, it is a signal from the Universe that what you need is available somewhere else. God is not going to reward her with someone amazing (assuming you are amazing) just like that! She has to earn it. Maybe she hasn't done anything worthwhile in her life to earn someone like you so she cannot see your value..! And maybe someone of much higher value is what God has for you when you stop running after her.... or maybe this girl will come to you some time later when she has done something to earn a person like you.

Let this girl go. Just let go.... NEVER chase anything or anyone. What is destined to be yours will come to you when the time is right and you won't have to chase it or put your dignity on the stake for it or worry about so many rules. Do you really think TEXTING or the number or frequency of same or your duration of online presence are the deciding factors for what you are destined for in your love life... relax, have patience, wait, have faith, be positive and just let her go... whatever is meant for you (including this girl, if she the one for you) will come to you once you stop seeking, chasing and generating all these negative vibes. Peace and calm....

Edited December 26, 2016 by winny

[preraph]

Give it up. She's not interested in you. She's probably a flirtatious type and she probably thought it was "safe" to be nice to you again since you left her alone for a year and didn't push it, but now you are pushing it again and

she

just

doesn't

like

you

that

way

[AdamantyumKrystal]

Give it up. She's not interested in you. She's probably a flirtatious type and she probably thought it was "safe" to be nice to you again since you left her alone for a year and didn't push it, but now you are pushing it again and

she

just

doesn't

like

you

that

way

 

u must be fun at funerals :3

[AdamantyumKrystal]

she isn't interested.

She responds because she knows you want her and the validation gives her the warm and fuzzies.

 

pro-tip, when everyone here is telling you that you are wasting your time it isn't because we didn't read your post correctly.

 

It's because we have seen this same situation dozens of times and know you are wasting your time.

 

but keep on keeping on.

Maybe when she has no more options and really really really bored she might let you take her out and spend money on her knowing you want her then after tell you "let's just be friends"

 

i do not spend money on women before marriage so nopity nope!!!

[AdamantyumKrystal]

Hmmm...

I read your whole post and here is the thing.

When 2 people are into each other - NO RULES are needed to be followed.

 

When you have tried a lot for something but it still doesn't seem to work out, it is a signal from the Universe that what you need is available somewhere else. God is not going to reward her with someone amazing (assuming you are amazing) just like that! She has to earn it. Maybe she hasn't done anything worthwhile in her life to earn someone like you so she cannot see your value..! And maybe someone of much higher value is what God has for you when you stop running after her.... or maybe this girl will come to you some time later when she has done something to earn a person like you.

Let this girl go. Just let go.... NEVER chase anything or anyone. What is destined to be yours will come to you when the time is right and you won't have to chase it or put your dignity on the stake for it or worry about so many rules. Do you really think TEXTING or the number or frequency of same or your duration of online presence are the deciding factors for what you are destined for in your love life... relax, have patience, wait, have faith, be positive and just let her go... whatever is meant for you (including this girl, if she the one for you) will come to you once you stop seeking, chasing and generating all these negative vibes. Peace and calm....

 

Now this is a post i was waiting for , i didn't thought i was chasing her until today when i started to get that annoying vibe feeling again(maybe she is not that into me) , i came back to her because i thought this time it would be different that maybe she grew up and stopped acting immature and mind-gaming but it seems it's not that time yet :'( , you're right i will stop chasing and go to my lonely refugee again , this is so embarassing :/ can't believe i fell for the same trap twice, it's a good thing some people on this site are actually thinking and try to lift others up, THANK U MATE! thankiess

[AdamantyumKrystal]

Someone asked why i have returned to this girl, well, her friend-girl is the girlfriend of a very good friend of mine, he told me about her and that she is cute and maybe i could get with her togheder, in my perfect imagination it would've been so great if the 2 of us bestfriends would be with the 2 of em bestfriends and it would've been a perfect scenario but if things don't workout i'm prepared to leave, i'm dissapointed that she turned out to be the opposite of what she tries to look like -_-

[ExpatInItaly]

She's not that interested in you, OP. You can do everything "by the book" and still get no result when the other person's interest level isn't high enough. It's evident that hers isn't.

 

She clearly likes the attention you give her but she's got other things going on. What I don't get is why you're so bent out of shape when she's done this before. You know what she's like, so quit fishing from the wrong pond.

 

Don't waste any more time on her. She's not engaging with you for the right reasons. In the future, don't try again with ghosters. It almost never ends well.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

She's not that interested in you, OP. You can do everything "by the book" and still get no result when the other person's interest level isn't high enough. It's evident that hers isn't.

 

She clearly likes the attention you give her but she's got other things going on. What I don't get is why you're so bent out of shape when she's done this before. You know what she's like, so quit fishing from the wrong pond.

 

Don't waste any more time on her. She's not engaging with you for the right reasons. In the future, don't try again with ghosters. It almost never ends well.

 

ghosters? can u be more definite please? ^^ i'm thinking that it may be different face to face after we would get to REALLY know eachother

[ExpatInItaly]

ghosters? can u be more definite please? ^^ i'm thinking that it may be different face to face after we would get to REALLY know eachother

 

A "ghoster" is someone who just stops responding to you and disappears (like a ghost)

 

The problem is that she doesn't appear interested in really even getting to know you. You're right that it might be different if you two met face to face, but I don't the sense that she's all that enthusiastic about even doing that. I know you had hopes, but she's left you hanging a couple times now. That's not the behaviour of a person who wants to meet.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

A "ghoster" is someone who just stops responding to you and disappears (like a ghost)

 

The problem is that she doesn't appear interested in really even getting to know you. You're right that it might be different if you two met face to face, but I don't the sense that she's all that enthusiastic about even doing that. I know you had hopes, but she's left you hanging a couple times now. That's not the behaviour of a person who wants to meet.

 

 

Why would she say that when she gets back home she would so love to meet me? this doesn't make sense at all, i told one girl one who i was not sure if will be a relation or not , i told her that i will meet her, and i did met her and it wasn't meant to be, but this "ghoster" said she did want to meet me and discussed what we would do in detail, i mean wdf man? if she thinks she is the only one available she is so wrong,there are plenty of fish in the sea,i just have to fish more!

[ExpatInItaly]

Why would she say that when she gets back home she would so love to meet me? this doesn't make sense at all, i told one girl one who i was not sure if will be a relation or not , i told her that i will meet her, and i did met her and it wasn't meant to be, but this "ghoster" said she did want to meet me and discussed what we would do in detail, i mean wdf man? if she thinks she is the only one available she is so wrong,there are plenty of fish in the sea,i just have to fish more!

 

A few possibilities:

 

1) She doesn't know how to be honest that she's not interested and trying to take the "easy" way out by going along with it, but thinking you'll get the hint when she stops replying to you

 

2) She is willing to meet, but isn't overly excited to. Perhaps she's seeing other guys too and doesn't want to get your or her own hopes up.

 

3) She wants to meet, but doesn't want to keep up a mindless text conversation with you so is waiting to reply. In other words, she's trying to dial back all the texting until the meeting date draws closer. A lot of people don't want to carry on lengthy text communication with a potential date they've never met.

 

Either way, you should calm down a bit. I don't necessarily think she's trying to play games with you, and I don't think she believes she's your only option. She probably doesn't care that much, to be blunt. Your default seems to be anger and hostility, but you knew there was a chance she'd do this. Also, it's the holidays. People get busy and prioritize family and close friends. Don't freak just because she hasn't replied yet.

 

If she has said nothing within the next few days, forget about her altogether. And in the future, don't put yourself in the position of ghost-chaser again. Those who disappear like she has before usually don't want to be chased, hence why they stop communicating.