Shall I send love letters back to my cheating ex?

[Livinitup]

So we broke up 6 months ago. She's moved on now with the guy. Anyway, when we were together she wrote lots of love letters. I still have them. I wanted to keep them for memories, she said sweet heartwarming romantic things in them and we did have some good times. But recently, ive discovered more stuff from a mutual friend tha has really hurt me. The love letters feel so fake and meaningless now and I definitely don't want to keep them anymore. And she thinks she's got away with everything and has a clear conscious. Shall I post the letters back to her including the watch she bought me?

 

If I had known sooner, I would have done it straight away. But with it being 6 months(we have occasionally contacted eachother since then ) since we broke up is it too late now and immature of me?

[kidm]

So we broke up 6 months ago. She's moved on now with the guy. Anyway, when we were together she wrote lots of love letters. I still have them. I wanted to keep them for memories, she said sweet heartwarming romantic things in them and we did have some good times. But recently, ive discovered more stuff from a mutual friend tha has really hurt me. The love letters feel so fake and meaningless now and I definitely don't want to keep them anymore. And she thinks she's got away with everything and has a clear conscious. Shall I post the letters back to her including the watch she bought me?

 

If I had known sooner, I would have done it straight away. But with it being 6 months(we have occasionally contacted eachother since then ) since we broke up is it too late now and immature of me?

 

It's been 6 months. I doubt she cares about some love letters and a watch and sending them back to her will only make you look crazy and confirm to her that you are still hang up on her. If you are that affected by the letters and watch, you should throw them away and keep it moving.

[elaine567]

So we broke up 6 months ago. She's moved on now with the guy. Anyway, when we were together she wrote lots of love letters. I still have them. I wanted to keep them for memories, she said sweet heartwarming romantic things in them and we did have some good times. But recently, ive discovered more stuff from a mutual friend tha has really hurt me. The love letters feel so fake and meaningless now and I definitely don't want to keep them anymore. And she thinks she's got away with everything and has a clear conscious. Shall I post the letters back to her including the watch she bought me?

 

If I had known sooner, I would have done it straight away. But with it being 6 months(we have occasionally contacted eachother since then ) since we broke up is it too late now and immature of me?

 

They are a part of your life, do not be too hasty in trying to get rid of them.

If you don't want to bin them but can't stand looking at them bundle them up, put them in a shoe box, tape it up and put in the furthest corner of your attic. In 20 years they will be an interesting read, and in 40 years you can show them to your grandchildren, if they are not x rated that is...

 

YOU are no doubt thinking of sending them to your ex to get a reaction out of her. Don't bother, if she has moved on, as it seems she has, she will not care a damn.

[lauri]

Sure, give it back so you can put your final nail in the coffin with her. This will make her feel more "justified" in the break up / cheating on you as you will look crazy. Guarenteed it'll make you feel worse and her better. Why? Because you care.

 

Look man...putting yourself out there for someone who clearly lacks respect for you is a bad idea. She's contacted you a few times to get a heat check on you...what I mean by that is to make sure you don't hate her. Since you've been in contact occasionally, she clearly feel like she hasn't done anything wrong and you two are still best buddies! How about your first step is stop talking to someone like this? What benefit do you get out of it? The only thing I see for you is more pain.

 

My advice for you would be to stop feeding her ego, cut her off and start focusing on you.

[umirano]

no [10 char]

[Satu]

Each of those letters is like a lottery ticket that didn't win you anything.

 

 

Take care.

[Cephalopod]

Have a funeral in your back yard. Mourn the death of your relationship and burn the letters. It is very cathartic. The symbolism of it will help you let go of the past.

[Kelley]

I think it's just an excuse to get in touch, and I think deep down you just want a response or it's a hey I still exist! Bin them, or box them up, whatever you are ready for but don't send them back.

[DarrenB]

Cherish them as a memory amongst everything else, if you wish to. If you really want to discard of it from your life and mind, just get rid of it and don't send it back to her.

[Chief1970]

Don't send them. I know from experience. The stupidest thing I did was send stuff back. Now that I look back it shows immaturity. That I let her get under my skin. It's been six months, if you send stuff back it shows that you're still thinking about her. Put them in a box and hide them in the closest, attic, garage, etc...From there go complete 100% NC. No facebook, no asking friends about her, etc. The reason why it's hard to get over an ex, is because we're not liked by someone and thats a hard challenge to except.

[Satu]

Here is a poem thats very apt; especially in its last four lines.

 

 

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

 

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

 

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

 

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

 

 

- Derek Walcott, Love after love.

 

 

Take care

[Scarlett.O'hara]

To be honest it will probably come across as a desperate cry for attention that will only make you look weak.

 

Is this just an attempt to get her attention or do you want to be free of the reminders and move on? If the latter, then just burn them or throw them in the bin.

[Livinitup]

It's been 6 months. I doubt she cares about some love letters and a watch and sending them back to her will only make you look crazy and confirm to her that you are still hang up on her. If you are that affected by the letters and watch, you should throw them away and keep it moving.

 

Knowing her as well as I do, she is the type to care no matter how much time has passed e.g. Her exes etc.

[Bromeo]

So we broke up 6 months ago. She's moved on now with the guy. Anyway, when we were together she wrote lots of love letters. I still have them. I wanted to keep them for memories, she said sweet heartwarming romantic things in them and we did have some good times. But recently, ive discovered more stuff from a mutual friend tha has really hurt me. The love letters feel so fake and meaningless now and I definitely don't want to keep them anymore. And she thinks she's got away with everything and has a clear conscious. Shall I post the letters back to her including the watch she bought me?

 

If I had known sooner, I would have done it straight away. But with it being 6 months(we have occasionally contacted eachother since then ) since we broke up is it too late now and immature of me?

 

I have voicemails and texts of professed love, "I'll never leave", "you are the only man for me", etc. I am 5 months post breakup, and she is currently shagging a morlock. Most likely saying the same things to him. Hold onto that thought.

 

Reality is, yours, like mine, meant it in the moment she sent you the letters. When mine left me quite abruptly (for the third time), three separate times I've purged the house of the things she left. I still find her junk in my home, and it sets me back each time. Your letters are doing the same.

 

I will gently agree that you may still be looking for a response. I know I was until the final phone call, which allowed me to move on completely.

 

And continue to post here, it's wonderfully cathartic.

 

Dave

[basil67]

Burn the letters in a funeral pyre. And hock the watch.

[ExpatInItaly]

Good heavens, no! Don't send them.

 

You will only make yourself look silly and desperate. She doesn't care as much you want to believe. Evidence? She cheated on you.

 

Burn them instead.

[basil67]

Knowing her as well as I do, she is the type to care no matter how much time has passed e.g. Her exes etc.

 

If you know the answer, why ask the question?

[Cephalopod]

What kind of watch is it?

[amaysngrace]

She may have meant it at the time.

 

I'm sorry that you're still upset over her.

[breakupthrowaway663]

Throw the watch in a lake and burn the letters. It'll be relieving.

 

I did the same thing with an old painting I was given long ago. Holding onto it was pointless. I wanted to move on.

[Cephalopod]

Throw the watch in a lake and burn the letters. It'll be relieving.

 

I did the same thing with an old painting I was given long ago. Holding onto it was pointless. I wanted to move on.

 

Now...wait a minute. If the watch is a TAG or an Omega or somesuch, sell it and get some money for it.

[Livinitup]

We dated for 2 years. Long distance relationship so we did meet up but we talked mainly on the phone and Skype. She broke up with me 6 months ago and we have been completely NC for almost 2 months now. It was so abrupt and I didn't get any real closure. There's some thing I wanted to say to her now that I've had space and time to reflect on our relationship.The main reason we broke up was cultural understanding. I come from a conservative Middle eastern background and my family wouldn't accept her(so I even had to keep our relationship a secret). She's with another guy now(who funnily enough is from the same culture as me but his family are more open minded).

 

I really want to clear things up to her re my culture and family and have no misunderstandings and explain things from my point of view. I want her to know that I did love her and I wish we both fought for our love. But I'm not sure if this is a good idea or too soon? I wanna do it via video because that's how we usually communicated. What do you think guys?

[PegNosePete]

I think you're wasting your time and emotions on someone who quite clearly does not want to be with you and is with someone else. What do you think it will achieve? She won't respond, and you'll feel bad and upset. Don't do it.

[Nadine123]

no, she doesnt give two ****s about your letter.

[keiji]

I totally agree with the previous posts. She has a new life now and nothing you do will change that. I've been there too, but I've also been on the other side of the affair and believe me, this type of post-BU messages are annoying and sometimes even cringing.

 

Devote that energy to heal. If she ever wants to know how you're doing or discuss your old relationship, she'll let you know.