I Just Cant Handle This.

[TexasForever21]

Ok so before I start I should say thank you to all of these sites and forums in being helpful, I am so lost, more than ever before.

 

I should start by saying what happened, then I will say the backstory if anyone actually cares to read the whole thing. I just am so lost, I have more family and friend support than probably 99.9% of people on here but I still just cannot deal with what I am going through. If anything, this place will give me a place to write. I've never done anything like this, nor have ever been emotional like this in my entire life, but right now, I would read anything to help what I have been feeling.

 

So where it starts, I have been dating my now ex girlfriend for 2.5 years. We started dating when I was a Junior in college and literally everything was perfect. We had a great life with each other, both being in greek life... Going on bus parties, formals, etc, you name it we did it together. She and I went to family gatherings, holidays, school breaks, weddings, etc. We were awesome together, and our families loved having each other around.

 

People used to make fun of us because of how perfect we were, she started talking to me one night at a apartment party, and we talked for almost four hours the very first night, and ever since then it was the best time of our lives. We started dating a few weeks after and it was the perfect wedding/fairytale story we go our lives dreaming about.

 

We talked about life together, after college, now, what the house would look like, what the dog would be named, heck even what the potential kids would be named, and literally everything above and below the stars. People used to look at us as an example of what to be. We never got in serious arguments, we would work our problems out if we had them. If you were to ask me even 1 hour before the breakup, I would have said I was going to marry that girl, no matter what.

 

So, start 3 months ago, she started taking anti anxiety medicine (prozac). I never really thought anything about it, but maybe it would help her with her worries. She did worry about things but it was nothing we couldn't handle in my mind. When the pill kicked in roughly 6 weeks later, she became a different person, the libido was gone (We were very healthy, even in a college relationship), she started going out less, she never asked for help or advice, she basically became a mummy of her former self. I no longer had the girlfriend or best friend to her any longer because of a pill.

 

She basically broke up with me out of no where. She said that she just doesn't feel the same no longer but still cares about me and still loves me. Which is the absurd to hear. I graduated, took an amazing job in the city, she took a job in the same city less than just 5 weeks ago, so she could be close to me. (I've social media creeped a bit because it was so outta nowhere) She is still wearing the jewelry and things I bought her over time and all of those things. I literally just can't wrap my head around anything, she was apart of almost every aspect of my life in one way or another.

 

I feel like I have told her all that she needs to hear, go see a doctor about that medicine, and told her mom the same thing. Her mom sent me a very long letter thanking me for what I have done for her and congratulations on my college graduation, etc.

 

It just feels like a punch from left field, heck even a punch from across the country. I was told I did nothing wrong and that I should't change who I am. I have no clue what that means, I just feel lost, and feel like **** the last three weeks.

 

Thanks,

 

Texas Forver

 

Also, before anyone starts. I am not blaming myself or even taking pity on myself in any sense of the word. I straight up love the girl more than anything and did everything in my power to be a great boyfriend. Heck, her friends liked me, her family liked me, she liked me lol. This whole thing is just so over my head.

Edited December 26, 2016 by TexasForever21

[Been]

I'm so sorry. But I hate to say it but your getting a story from her.

Someone doesn't all the sudden break up with someone when things are perfect.

Thier more then likely is a lot more to the story. Don't try to figure it all out- you'll never get the full truth.

Go NC. Trust me on that.

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm sorry you're so hurt, OP. It is clear that you really love her and enjoyed your relationship.

 

I agree with Been, to a large extent. There probably is more to this that she isn't telling you, either to soften the blow or to make a clean break. Break-ups of relationships that otherwise seem perfect are very unusual, and there is often a lot more to the story.

 

However, I will concede that some medication is known to have funny effects on people. This might be playing a role, but you also have to keep in mind that if she is unwilling to consider how it's influencing her and her moods, there's not a heck of a lot you can do. I would caution you against assuming that this is all down to one medicine, though. It's probably not.

 

Think back carefully: what sorts of things did she worry about, that led her to seeking help for anxiety? What type of problems did you two have? I realize you said you always worked through your problems, but if you elaborate on what sorts of things caused bumps in the road, we might be able to give you better insight into her current frame of mind.

[TexasForever21]

I mean I do think a lot of it came down to the medicine even though that is very hard to say. It was like she just became numb or just so dull to me and herself. None of her friends or family knew that she was thinking about breaking up, and it took me by surprise. What led to her taking it? That I don't exactly know. I mean we both were involved on campus and she was very involved. Always meetings, projects, or something to plan and I think she thought if she started taking it, it would be easier to handle.

 

As for the problems we had over the last 2.5 years? There were very little. Maybe a couple drunk miss understandings or idk, I cant really even think of any good ones. She got me graduation presents and even came to my family Thanksgiving 5 days before the breakup. I have no idea.

[Nowty V]

I think you could be on the right track with the medication.

 

There are two books 'Listening to prozac' by Kramer and Talking back to Prozac by Peter and Ginger Breggin that may be of use.

 

However if your ex prefers life without anxiety she may not notice the change in her character.

 

SSRI's definitely have an effect on the personality of the user.

[Late Nights]

Hey i had a similar problem with my ex too. She started to have anxiety and started to take those pills in the middle of our 3 year relationship and i did start to notice she was getting kinda dull. I know it sucks for you because the girl that I KNEW every time she came over she was always sooo happy to see me with a smile. After the pills i saw the slow change. Also it did not help her at all taking those pills and drinking. Like you said my ex became another person. I hope you find the answers that you are looking for.

[fromheart]

A few years is what it takes to start to get to know someone. It sounds like there's been some stuff she's been going through and for a while her new relationship with you, took her away from that.

 

Every relationship comes to a point where that initial buzz wears off and we have reality. Who we are, who the other person is.

 

It sounds like she has a depression issue, and that's why she's been taking the prozac. The reality is, someone who has to take prescription drugs for their emotions is not ready for a relationship, until they start to really look after themselves.

 

I wouldn't speculate about something else happening, just concentrate on what you do know. If I had a woman who started to take pills for depression, and then broke up with me I wouldn't be too surprised.

 

The absolute best thing to do is to move on without being friends. Once she's better maybe anything is possible, but right now she's just not in a good place to be in a relationship.

 

Look after yourself and move on as best you can.