Author SadSouls Posted December 26, 2016 Author Share Posted December 26, 2016 Freudian slip? Honestly, this friend of yours has got some balls. She KNOWS you have a gf yet still has the balls to ask you. I actually meant that in the sense of - we're best friends, and probably always will be best friends. As in, I don't think we'll ever fall out. Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 Some of these make me just LMAO... Even at 23 you are not so stupid as to think this is no problem. COME ON MAN!!! Seriously, why are you asking this question? Just why? Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 Yes, it's totally Ok to go on a trip with your female friend. No, it's not Ok If it upsets your Gf. Not because it's not allowed, but because you don't want to hurt the one you love, do you? I think this filter works 99%. Should you do ______? probably not if it makes your gf miserable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LD1990 Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 One thing I would say, regarding your "shoe on the other foot" comment, my gf has previously commented about going to see her male friend who lives in another country. It has to work both ways right, if she can I can? Are you cool with that? At the end of the day it's about what is okay with the two of you and what you two agree on. If you are both okay with the other going on vacations with the opposite sex, go for it. I definitely wouldn't, obviously most people wouldn't and it sounds like a situation where cheating could happen very easily, but it's your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 One thing I would say, regarding your "shoe on the other foot" comment, my gf has previously commented about going to see her male friend who lives in another country. It has to work both ways right, if she can I can? I'll discuss it with her, rather than asking her for permission I think. It'll be entirely in her hands. If you discuss this with her like a civilized guy, you are going to get screwed - you will wind up staying home and then it will be her turn to see her guy pal, and she *will* go. She will call you 'controlling' if you say no, and there you'll be stewing in your juices because you gave up a trip with your gal pal ... If my gf wanted to go see her male 'friend' in another country, I'd say sure thing - just don't come back to me because I wont be here. The simple fact is that when you are with another person, there are things you need to give up, and jetting around the world with friends and acting single is the major item... you both have to realize that or the relationship will never work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bene Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Thanks for the feedback, really appreciate it. I'm not sure I see why it's disrespectful to consider a trip? Maybe I'm wrong though, that's why I'm asking you! I love my girlfriend and think she's wonderful, but it doesn't mean I can't have fun, right? Thanks, this is also how I see it in some ways. I certainly hope we are, but what if I'm no longer with my GF in 6 months. Will I regret not going on this trip? Almost certainly. Why not have fun together with your girlfriend? Interestingly you seem to compartmentalize "fun" and "girlfriend" into different categories. Relationships don't just grow on their own, you build them and common memories from trips etc are the building blocks. If you give your resources like time and attention to someone else, it is likely that you won't be together eventually. I don't mean that you should not have friends outside the relationship but it is a matter of priorities. Unless you have unlimited money and spare time (which are often mutually exclusive), there are only so many trips you can take. If you have doubts about the relationship why not just let her go, enjoy single life and do whatever you want? Link to post Share on other sites
BDJ_1 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 One thing I would say, regarding your "shoe on the other foot" comment, my gf has previously commented about going to see her male friend who lives in another country. It has to work both ways right. Tit for tat shouldn't be your justification. Two wrongs don't equal a right. Address the source not the symptom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadSouls Posted December 27, 2016 Author Share Posted December 27, 2016 Thanks for the feedback. Have decided that I will not go, and will not even mention it to my gf. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Thanks for the feedback. Have decided that I will not go, and will not even mention it to my gf. OK. That's fine... but what will you do when she tells you she has decided to go to the other country to see her 'old friends'? Burying your head in the sand will not make this problem go away. But, you have a golden opportunity right now to make your point about 'his and hers' vacations. You can tell her that you thought of it, and it wouldn't be appropriate if you went with the other girl while you are seeing her, and you hope she will accord you the same amount of dignity if the situation were reversed... she may fish for some clarification. She may say something like, " so what if one day I want to go on my own to see my friends in the other country...? Think now on what you are going to say... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 It depends: Is it a 5 days laying on Caribbean beaches or a 5 days in a sky resort. What kind of trip is that? Why is she asking you and not a girlfriend? I am trying to put myself in your situation. If my BF told me he'd like to go on a 5 day trip on some beaches with a female friend you bet I'd be NO YOU'RE NOT, but if it was a sky trip and I know he loves skying and I don't sky I'd be ok with it. I think you need to use some common sense here. I would have liked to get an answer to my questions. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadSouls Posted December 28, 2016 Author Share Posted December 28, 2016 I would have liked to get an answer to my questions. Thank you It's more of an exploration trip. Relaxing would absolutely not be on the agenda for this one. It is clear as a day that you are waiting something to happen or/and you want to bang this chick. Do your gf a favor and leave her alone. That's really not true at all. As you can see above I've said I will not go. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 It's more of an exploration trip. Relaxing would absolutely not be on the agenda for this one. What kind of trip is it? Why so secretive about it? Link to post Share on other sites
IfonlyIknew Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 My overall rule in relationships is transparency, "Would xname be OK with with XYZ" to you, a vacation with your long time friend is innocent, to her it doesn't make her not trust you, it just seems to be unfair that you are spending that much time with someone. My bf has plenty of female friends as I do guy friends, I wouldn't dare spend that much time on them even if it was a fun vacation, If anything I'd bring my boyfriend along. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 OP was your friend paying for your share? Link to post Share on other sites
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