AT15 Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 I used to think I would find true love. But the men that I have loved with my whole heart didn't return the love. I'm starting to think, it will never happen. I'm not sure what it is about me that these guys turn and say never mind. 1
Ilovepizzalady Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 I used to think I would find true love. But the men that I have loved with my whole heart didn't return the love. I'm starting to think, it will never happen. I'm not sure what it is about me that these guys turn and say never mind. Did you notice red flags about any of them before or when you started dating them? 1
BC1980 Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 It probably isn't anything specific about you. A big part of finding the right person involves luck. Think about how you have met people in the past. Probably pretty random right? I've been single for almost 4 years. A lot of people are single for years at a time. That is not unusual by any means. I really just think it comes down to luck, events aligning correctly to meet a person, and it just works. No one is guaranteed a relationship. Heck, it's hard enough for me to find a guy I might be interested in let alone one that feels the same way about me. 3
Frozensushi Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 I feel the same, but then again this world we live on is a big place. You never know what to expect and that's part of the excitement when someone enters your life suddenly out of the blue. I found after my breakup that I stayed with such a toxic person and endured months of emotional abuse because I was scared of being alone. I didn't want to lose the security and companionship of having someone in my life. Now that some time has passed, and from some of the reactions by users on this forum of how my Ex treated me, I've come to the conclusion that I was completely devoid of true happiness and fulfillment a healthy relationship brings. I'd much rather be alone than to live in a perpetual state of dread. I'm starting to feel happy again. I forgot how nice it is to not always feel anxiety, stress and constant worry I may do or say the wrong thing and get emotionally punished for it. Will you find true love? I believe you will, but you should try to live for you and not depend on someone else to feel joy. Once you reach that milestone you will truly be ready to love again and before you know it, that special someone will arrive. 2
Bromeo Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 I swear, frozen and I could have dated the same ex. She in Indiana? Lol Regarding true love, I've read and learned much since my most recent breakup. One funny comment is, "you know it's love when you are willing to change your routine for that person." How true this is. As we age, and I am newly 38, what is important to me is someone who will be by my side through thick and thin. That is extremely important to me, and the rest I can be flexible on. My last ex ditched me three separate times as soon as times got rough. Like frozen, I was scared to be alone and chased her back for more good times. lol For me, the key is chemistry, connection, and communication. All three present in a stable partner, and we can talk long term. But, you must meet a slew of people to find what you like and dislike. Above all, be patient with yourself. You'll be surprised who will show up when you least expect it. Lol Merry Xmas. Dave 2
Satu Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 If you are able to love with your whole heart, but it wasn't reciprocated, the men weren't right for you. No fault in you. No fault in them. Keep an open mind, and an open heart. Don't give up on love. Take care. 2
Author AT15 Posted December 26, 2016 Author Posted December 26, 2016 If you are able to love with your whole heart, but it wasn't reciprocated, the men weren't right for you. No fault in you. No fault in them. Keep an open mind, and an open heart. Don't give up on love. Take care. Thank you so much. I was feeling depressed earlier, and you're correct, they were not the right men for me. Two guys who I really loved deeply from my past, treated me horribly. I certainly did not deserve it. But, I look back and see they were insecure and not good enough for me, in retrospect. I find that the deeper you love, the more traumatic the pain if it goes bad. I'm going to fully heal from this traumatic experience and lay low for a while. I've always had this feeling of being alone in my head. So, when I met some one who I have chemistry with and I am attracted to, I get excited. And I go all in. My past experience has showed me, that i need a genuinely good person. No more users. No more abusers. I really do hope, there is some out there just for me. And, I'll look back on my past pain and say, if I had to to go thru all that to get this diamond...it was worth it. 1
basil67 Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 I think it would be wise to question your feelings of love. In particular, why did youlove the two guys who treated you horribly? Where is your self love and self preservation? Thing is, we all end up with the love we think we deserve. 1
Satu Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 snip *I'm going to fully heal from this traumatic experience and lay low for a while. I've always had this feeling of being alone in my head. So, when I met some one who I have chemistry with and I am attracted to, I get excited. And I go all in. My past experience has showed me, that i need a genuinely good person. No more users. No more abusers. *Yes, you are. I can feel it. I'd like to recommend a book you might find helpful: Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self By Charles L Whitfield Publisher: Health Communications ISBN-10: 155874259X ISBN-13: 978-1558742598 Take care.
Recommended Posts