griftymcgriff Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Well as most of you would know my gf wanted a break from me. The funny thing is she's acting rather selfish about this. She didnt want me to tell anyone about what she said. She's told her mum and her friends and most likely all her friends on the internet. So i say well i dont know if i want to be around my family if they're all like OH im sorry *hugs* stuff like that and she says "NO you cant tell them, they'll hate me" so i just said ok, well im sorry i kinda just told my friend, "Oh no, now they'll hate me" But i replied well i didnt really i just sorta hinted i had a problem with my gf and couldnt talk to him atm. Now she insists i dont tell anyone, when she's told all her friends. Its really quite selfish! She doesnt want to seem like the bad person im sure but i dont make her out to be the bad one. i know i have a few self esteem problems she hates about me. Which i can admit to my family showing that she only had a reason to feel like she needed a break. So they wouldnt hate her at all. Does anyone else find this kinda selfish? Im not allowed to tell my friends because im upset, i wouldnt mind a friend to talk to. Though she is so i look like the ****in idiot.
loony Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Let's clear a thing first. How old are you? I'm inclined to say you do have self-esteem issues if you bother to ask for opinions on your situation. Probably everybody will tell you that it doesn't matter what she tells you, you have any right to talk with your friends about the break/break up. And obviously she has some self-esteem issues, too, otherwise she wouldn't feel bothered what other people thought about her break from the relationship. Let me tell you a story, a friend of mine had a girlfriend and she insisted that they would not make this relationship public. He did not even tell me about this (well, I had suspected something in the beginning, but draw some wrong conclusions about their situation), had it told me, I would have given him a kick in the ass and told him to draw some clear borders here. People who are trying to hide something when there is really no need to do so (the reason should at least be as grave as in the case of Romeo and Juliet where their families hated each other deeply) make me quite suspicious. When they finally broke up and he told me the whole story, it turned out she had cheated on him a couple of times and he had accepted this and decided to give this relationship another try even when she told him: "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Talk about low self-esteem... What your girlfriend is doing is not ok. Talk to whoever you want to, who is she to tell you what you're supposed to do and what not. You're not even in a relationship with her!
Author griftymcgriff Posted July 17, 2005 Author Posted July 17, 2005 welll, im 20 years old hehe :$ sorry for like always asking, this is my first real relationship so yeah i just want to know. But the funny thing is now she's acting like nothing happened, She called me 3 times the other night. and said she loved me when we got off the phone. So i was just guessing maybe it was more of a way to get me to see clearly if she jolted me further then just saying she needed some space. I dont know if she doesnt need the break anymore or she is on a break, and loves me but just wants time apart to work out her own issues. Oh, and last night when she called me the third time. i was outside walking around pacing back and forth (when i get all funny inside because of a girl i pace a lot hehe) and i spoke in a funny voice "im cold" my gf asked if there was a girl with me. and she insisted she was going to smell my bed when she gets back for perfume lol. I found it hilarious because she knows i wouldnt do a thing, she sounded as if she was joking but she said she was serious. Is it weird? She wants a break from me, but is scared after saying to me "go have sex with a stranger to get me off your mind" so she feels insecure! GOod thing is i think our relationship should get better from now on, i know my problems. i just have to face them and change my stupid self esteem ways i feel more confident and better about myself too after having that talk.
lindya Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Originally posted by griftymcgriff Is it weird? She wants a break from me, but is scared after saying to me "go have sex with a stranger to get me off your mind" so she feels insecure! Not weird. A classic example of someone saying what they believe is the cool thing to say, but not actually meaning it.
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