youjustconfuseme Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 My room mate took my Female room mate to the Ballet and I find this wierd...isn't the Ballet a date kind of thing? Should I actually care?... If you need a background on the whole story please check my confused post.
Author youjustconfuseme Posted July 17, 2005 Author Posted July 17, 2005 Your room mate and best friend takes our female room mate to the Ballet?, and after he has told you that he sees her like a sister...would you believe him?, should I feel wierd about this?, because I do and I hate it.
greenhorn Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Nope, a man and woman can never be friends. How much one deny but deep inside they know that it is not true and most of the time the girls are those who would agree that they can be friends. But deep inside they also know it is not true In your case if the guy says he takes her as sister then there is nothing to think about any romantic equation or do you have some reasons to think contrary ?
d'Arthez Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 A man and a woman can be friends. Although it is equally as true that not all men and all women can be friends with members of the opposite sex. Being room mates makes it easier to grow friends; studies have revealed that the closer you live together in the same building the higher the chances are of developing friendships and relationships. There can be all kinds of reasons why you may think it is weird, but without further information, probably the cause lies within you, and not in either of them.
loony Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Originally posted by youjustconfuseme My room mate took my Female room mate to the Ballet and I find this wierd...isn't the Ballet a date kind of thing? Should I actually care?... If you need a background on the whole story please check my confused post. What's so strange if your room mates do things together once in a while? Going to the ballet together just sounds fine with me. I don't think men and women can be best buddies, but it's still possible to feel affection for people of the opposite sex without ulterior motives. In order to maintain a healthy friendship though I'd have to put in some distance between us . I'd never spend as much time with them alone as I would with a female friend. I think women should be aware that for guys it's harder to get contact with females and so they have more expectations and hopes on their female friends as women on their male friends.
Tony T Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Unless you have supplied insufficient data, I see nothing unusual or wrong about your roommate taking this female roommate of the both of you out anywhere. I would see nothing wrong if they started seeing each other romantically, although I would hope they would keep the sex noise down or maybe do that when you weren't around. Fact is, she is NOT his sister...or yours...and she could be very good platonic company and a very readily available date for the ballet in the absence of anybody else. It sounds like you have feelings for this lady. If so, you need to ask her out to some stuff yourself. If she favors your other roommate, you need to move out and on to other things. Bottom line, NO, there was nothing at all wrong with your male roommate taking the female roommate to the ballet. I would have worried much more had he elected to ask YOU to the ballet. If you have no feelings for this lady yet you have asked this question, that's the ONLY weird thing about all this.
Treasa Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 I'm a woman, and my best friend is a man. While he does have feelings for me, I don't for him. He doesn't show his feelings for me much anymore, because I have a boyfriend, and he respects that. I also have another male friend. He's the husband of my closest female friend. There is NOTHING between us, going either way, at all. In fact, I think we'd kill each other, given half a chance. He has a lot of traits I find annoying, and while I am friends with him, I've never once been attracted to him, and vice versa.
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Originally posted by youjustconfuseme My room mate took my Female room mate to the Ballet and I find this wierd...isn't the Ballet a date kind of thing? Should I actually care?... If you need a background on the whole story please check my confused post. You may want to stop questioning your roommates' motivations for doing this and questioning your own motivation for caring about it. Have you asked this girl to do things with you, and she shot you down? Have you just not asked? Does your roommate know how you feel about her? If you have said and done nothing to let either of them know how you feel, then there is little you can do besides be frustrated that your roommate beat you to the punch. He may be saying that they are 'friends' because they haven't decided yet if they want to date. Or, maybe it was just an innocent 'going to the ballet thing'. It sounds like you like this girl yourself, and are threatened by them going to the ballet together. In all likelihood, it was a precursor to what will turn out to be a series of dates, or it may not be. The bottom line is: if you can't handle the idea of them dating you may want to consider moving out. It sounds like your feelings for the female roommate are grounds enough for looking for a new place. Those situations can get sticky.
westernxer Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Nobody's saying they can't be friends, but one usually ends up digging the other. I guess this means they can't.
Author youjustconfuseme Posted July 17, 2005 Author Posted July 17, 2005 cool. I used to have feelings for her and I think I still do...oh god
Author youjustconfuseme Posted July 17, 2005 Author Posted July 17, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia You may want to stop questioning your roommates' motivations for doing this and questioning your own motivation for caring about it. Have you asked this girl to do things with you, and she shot you down? Have you just not asked? Does your roommate know how you feel about her? If you have said and done nothing to let either of them know how you feel, then there is little you can do besides be frustrated that your roommate beat you to the punch. He may be saying that they are 'friends' because they haven't decided yet if they want to date. Or, maybe it was just an innocent 'going to the ballet thing'. It sounds like you like this girl yourself, and are threatened by them going to the ballet together. In all likelihood, it was a precursor to what will turn out to be a series of dates, or it may not be. The bottom line is: if you can't handle the idea of them dating you may want to consider moving out. It sounds like your feelings for the female roommate are grounds enough for looking for a new place. Those situations can get sticky. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t66523 This post should explain everything...and I am up in the air about asking her to move out I can't take any more of her games or bull****, she won't talk to me and we just look at each other, if we just talk (and yes I have asked her) then things should be fine as for her and the room mate I have never seen her flirt with him...I have not once seen her flick her hair about or play with her hair as much as she has with me...
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 You will definitely want to consider one of you making a move out of there.
loony Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Originally posted by youjustconfuseme http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t66523 This post should explain everything...and I am up in the air about asking her to move out I can't take any more of her games or bull****, she won't talk to me and we just look at each other, if we just talk (and yes I have asked her) then things should be fine as for her and the room mate I have never seen her flirt with him...I have not once seen her flick her hair about or play with her hair as much as she has with me... After reading your thread I also don't have much clue either, but I guess that moving out is recommendable. I also can't really figure this girl out.
DakotaDan Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Just take people at their word until they give you a reason to suspect otherwise. If you dont believe the story just keep your eyes open a little wider and maybe do a little investigating if you think something is developing.
Author youjustconfuseme Posted July 18, 2005 Author Posted July 18, 2005 well we talked today and she told me that I need to grow up (I told her perhaps it's you that needs to grow up) and I asked her honestly if we could live together because she doesn't make me happy and I can't live with her anymore and I do see **** between us happening again, she also said that If i asked her go to the ballet she would have gone as she loves the ballet, she also told me that she thinks I still haven't got over it...(all the while pushing her hair back and giving me smirks, I mean we both didn't want to fight so you know...) Oh and she was listening to a compilation CD i made her a while ago...hmmmm.... oh and she just knocked on my door and said "hey are you talking to me?" and I said "yes" and then she gave me these sad little eyes and said I was just wondering....hmmmmm.....what gives?
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by youjustconfuseme Oh and she was listening to a compilation CD i made her a while ago...hmmmm.... It's just music man .. her listening to a cd you burned means nothing Listen to her words and watch her actions .. If they don't match it's the actions you need to focus on
Recommended Posts