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Has BF, still wants to hang out?

Grey40

By Grey40
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Grey40 Established Member

Grey40

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Need some advice here. I met this girl last night, we talked for a long time really went well, a lot of connection and she went with me to get food after the bar, she really didn't drink much so I'm pretty sure it wasn't "beer goggles" doing the work, I think she really took to me.

 

Anyways got her number and told her it was nice meeting her last night and that we should definitely hang out again blah blah threw a nice joke In there.

 

She replied saying "I hope this isnt weird, but I have a boyfriend. I'd still love to hang out again with you though, you're pretty cool."

 

Isn't that strange? Does she really just want to be friends or is she using me as a way to cheat on her BF or escape the relationship?

kgcolonel Established Member

kgcolonel

Posted
Posted

Grey, if you have integrity, assume that she is offering only friendship, if it's more, would you really want to be involved with her knowing she's stepping out on her BF?

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
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She's just making it clear that she's taken, and she sees you as someone who could be a fun friend. That's it. Also, keep in mind that her offer to hang out again might not be all that sincere; she could be saying that just to "soften" the blow of informing you she isn't single.

 

If you were hoping for more, this isn't the girl for you.

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Grey40 Established Member

Grey40

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Well she was pretty chummy for a girl with a BF, not to mention there are absolutely no pictures whatsoever on her social media of him at all. Could she possibly be making that up?

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted
Well she was pretty chummy for a girl with a BF, not to mention there are absolutely no pictures whatsoever on her social media of him at all. Could she possibly be making that up?

 

Yes, it's possible.

 

But to be fair, I have no pictures of my partner on my social media either but he is indeed a big part of my life. Due to the sensitive nature of his work, it is unwise for him to have any social media presence. So, FB or IG are not always a good way to assess someone's relationship status.

 

In the end, it doesn't really matter too much. She was clear that you two can be friends but not more.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted (edited)

either A) she is over stepping boundaries and wants an emotional affair, seeking attention that her BF doesn't give her.

 

Or.....

 

B) She is lying that she has a BF, sending you into the friends zone.

 

IMO you don't need anymore "friends" and should kick her to the curb regardless. She has already put the brakes on.....booooo hisssssss lol

 

She is misleading you! fail

Edited by smackie9
winny Established Member

winny

Posted
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Yeah, go and waste time with an unavailable woman who wants to hangout with you even though she has a BF.... great choice :p

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

Posted
Posted

There's a risk for you. There are several possibilities:

 

a) she may want to friendzone you. If you don't know already, this means she will never sleep with you, nor love you in a "relationship" way. She may even use you for some pretty messed up things.

 

b) she may want to cheat on her boyfriend with you, yet never leave him. This is only good for you if you're looking for a thrill.

 

c) she may want to transition to another guy. People do this all the time (not insinuating that it's right, just stating a fact). In this case, you may be left with a nagging feeling that "if she did it with you, she'll do it to you". Or, maybe you won't. Plenty of people never have that feeling after transitioning with no break. it depends on you.

 

Which one of these possibilities it is, you will never know until it all happens and is done.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

I got caught up in the same situation with a guy. He was like dangling a carrot in front of me, making promises, then he felt guilty and stayed with her because she gave him a custom ring for his bday....I was young and stupid....no WE were both young and stupid. I wasted 3 months on him. He called me up 6 months later to hang out again....too late I was dating a guy that later became my husband. He lost his chance.

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Grey40 Established Member

Grey40

Posted
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There's a risk for you. There are several possibilities:

 

a) she may want to friendzone you. If you don't know already, this means she will never sleep with you, nor love you in a "relationship" way. She may even use you for some pretty messed up things.

 

b) she may want to cheat on her boyfriend with you, yet never leave him. This is only good for you if you're looking for a thrill.

 

c) she may want to transition to another guy. People do this all the time (not insinuating that it's right, just stating a fact). In this case, you may be left with a nagging feeling that "if she did it with you, she'll do it to you". Or, maybe you won't. Plenty of people never have that feeling after transitioning with no break. it depends on you.

 

Which one of these possibilities it is, you will never know until it all happens and is done.

 

Yeah I think I'm just going to move onto the next one. How would I know if she just wants an affair. I personally don't care and am not nessecarily looking to date her, so I'd be fine just getting something going with her, but to be honest it doesn't sound like she's very interested. Whether she has a boyfriend or not doesn't matter she basically just nicely rejected me.

 

I messaged her back saying "yeah that's fine, I appreciate you being honest and upfront about this, it's a good quality"

 

To which she said, "I always like to be upfront, but my friend that you were very cute."

 

Her friend I am not attracted to in the least bit at all. So that sucks. The way she said it states pretty clearly to me that she's not interested in that way. Super confusing because last night, I could have sworn it was the exact opposite. Oh well. Have a potential date lined up for Tuesday, hopefully they won't bail.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

Posted
Posted
I got caught up in the same situation with a guy. He was like dangling a carrot in front of me, making promises, then he felt guilty and stayed with her because she gave him a custom ring for his bday....I was young and stupid....no WE were both young and stupid. I wasted 3 months on him. He called me up 6 months later to hang out again....too late I was dating a guy that later became my husband. He lost his chance.

 

Yes, it's quite common that taken people will come onto you.

I have a guy now who is in a relationship that is interested in me. I saw it in his eyes (I was interested in him too) and he's told two of our mutual friends that he really likes me. I had them tell him that I liked him too. BUT, he's in a relationship, which the friends say he's very unhappy in. Oh well. Despite the fact that our friends really want us to get together, and I'm madly attracted to him, I won't be pursuing anything at all with him until he is free and clear.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

Posted
Posted
Have a potential date lined up for Tuesday, hopefully they won't bail.

 

Forget about taken girl (too much trouble) and focus on this.

 

And other single women.

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