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My confession was a success?

umbralwisp

By umbralwisp
in General Relationship Discussion

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umbralwisp New Member

umbralwisp

Posted
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Okay, I'm a gay guy who has a crush on one of my coworkers (we're both fresh out of uni). He is a shy (to new people) and extremely introverted guy.

 

Anyway, for the past few months, we've been hanging out with each other at work and at work events. He'll cling onto me at work events, he'll ask me whether I'll go to certain work event, he'll sit next to me at work dinners, etc. However, we never actually hangout outside of work.

 

When we hangout in work events, he'll lean on me, put his leg next to mine and put his arm around my shoulder. When i message him on fb, he'll call me cute, good looking, etc.

 

However, I thought he didn't like me like me because:

a) He NEVER initiate a conversation with me on fb.

b) He doesn't actually comfort me if I'm upset.

c) One time, he said I'm like a girl.

d) I literally didn't message him for 2 weeks to see if he would message me, but he didn't.

e) On his fb profile, he said his straight and is in a relationship (according to him, the latter was a prank he pulled back in high school and that it's not true).

 

Anyways, so I have a crush on him. Today I've confessed to him because he's going on a holiday trip on Adelaide and I don't think I can wait 2 weeks for him to come back. I was expecting a rejection, but he said yes, and that he likes me too...

 

I'm happy, but confused at the same time...

Edited by umbralwisp
BluesPower Established Member

BluesPower

Posted
Posted

He is just out of uni and he is not that experienced? Right?

 

Sweetie, you are not super experienced either. Not to be condescending, but you guys are just so cute.

 

Of course he is in to you because all the signs were there. He is a dorky guy and he has a huge crush on you but he did not have the self confidence to approach you.

 

So now you know. Have a great time. But understand that this type of guy will need to work on his insecurity and confidence or he will get tiring to you.

 

Just remember that you will have to explain things to him about relationship that he will not understand because of lack of experience. So if you guys date for very long he will do something stupid.

 

Oh, young love can be so great...

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

Well, what's your end goal here?

 

If your goal was to find out if he likes, you, I guess he now that he said that, your goal would be met.

 

But, if you need more reassurance (i.e. him asking you out on a date, kissing you, etc.) then I guess the goal hasn't been met?

 

With the holidays and all I guess you have no choice but to relax and pick things up once he comes back around. I hate dating/meeting people mid-summer and around this time of the year. You're so busy with family, friends, vacation - makes it extra hard to connect with someone, especially when first moments of meeting someone is when IMO, you gotta get that connection set or you miss the window.

 

But relax and just be cool when he comes back. Maybe be like "Hey, how 'bout we catch coffee/dinner to catch up on your holiday?" That'll be perfect opportunity for you all to reconnect and work on your recently announced "likes". If you two work together, even easier to grab lunch or coffee and do a quick catch up and go from there :)

 

I don't know, makes me think about my situation. It's hard enough that I'd miss him on regular weekends, but this is even longer and not sure when I can speak to him again cuz of the haters. I'm hoping that during this time that I can't speak to him, he knows I still think/feel in a positive way about him. I know they're gonna try to stress him and play him against me and I hope he hangs tough. But, like you, I got anxiety cuz with the 180 he did and them keeping us apart - not sure how he thinks/feels about me. I don't know....I gotta wait it out on my end too - but probably longer than you have to wait out.

 

Well wishes :)

LexiCat29 Established Member

LexiCat29

Posted
Posted

What are you confused about? He likes you!!! Score! Ask him out :)

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umbralwisp New Member

umbralwisp

Posted
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Posted
He is just out of uni and he is not that experienced? Right?

 

Sweetie, you are not super experienced either. Not to be condescending, but you guys are just so cute.

 

Of course he is in to you because all the signs were there. He is a dorky guy and he has a huge crush on you but he did not have the self confidence to approach you.

 

So now you know. Have a great time. But understand that this type of guy will need to work on his insecurity and confidence or he will get tiring to you.

 

Just remember that you will have to explain things to him about relationship that he will not understand because of lack of experience. So if you guys date for very long he will do something stupid.

 

Oh, young love can be so great...

 

Yeah, he's gonna be my first relationship. So yeah, really inexperience here.

 

Well, what's your end goal here?

 

If your goal was to find out if he likes, you, I guess he now that he said that, your goal would be met.

 

But, if you need more reassurance (i.e. him asking you out on a date, kissing you, etc.) then I guess the goal hasn't been met?

 

With the holidays and all I guess you have no choice but to relax and pick things up once he comes back around. I hate dating/meeting people mid-summer and around this time of the year. You're so busy with family, friends, vacation - makes it extra hard to connect with someone, especially when first moments of meeting someone is when IMO, you gotta get that connection set or you miss the window.

 

But relax and just be cool when he comes back. Maybe be like "Hey, how 'bout we catch coffee/dinner to catch up on your holiday?" That'll be perfect opportunity for you all to reconnect and work on your recently announced "likes". If you two work together, even easier to grab lunch or coffee and do a quick catch up and go from there :)

 

I don't know, makes me think about my situation. It's hard enough that I'd miss him on regular weekends, but this is even longer and not sure when I can speak to him again cuz of the haters. I'm hoping that during this time that I can't speak to him, he knows I still think/feel in a positive way about him. I know they're gonna try to stress him and play him against me and I hope he hangs tough. But, like you, I got anxiety cuz with the 180 he did and them keeping us apart - not sure how he thinks/feels about me. I don't know....I gotta wait it out on my end too - but probably longer than you have to wait out.

 

Well wishes :)

 

Yeah, we're actually chatting a lot now.

 

What are you confused about? He likes you!!! Score! Ask him out :)

 

Lol, well. I'm confused because I thought he would've said no based on the other signs like never actually initiate a convo with me, etc. I can always ask him, but I think it's better if I asked him later down the road when everything is solidified.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted
Lol, well. I'm confused because I thought he would've said no based on the other signs like never actually initiate a convo with me, etc. I can always ask him, but I think it's better if I asked him later down the road when everything is solidified.

 

Well, maybe he treated you at arms length cuz I guess until a declaration is made as to one's status (i.e. we're dating, friends, etc.) - they're gonna treat you as what they think you are (in this case, he only saw you as a "friend" until you made your "liking" him known).

 

For example, current dude and I? It gets confusing for me on how far to go cuz he has someone and we're just "friends" - but I wonder if he's trying to get to know me before making a decision about his current SO. Eh, again, that's kinda hard for me cuz how am I gonna treat some guy as someone I'm "dating" as a "friend" - I mean, he's only gonna get to know the side of me that I'd only show to a "friend".

 

It also is gonna hurt if you two are inexperienced and shy. I mean, one of you gotta step up to the plate if anything is ever gonna move forward.

 

I don't get it. What you need to ask him once things are "solidified"?

 

If I'm correct, he said he "likes" you? So, what more do you need to ask? IMO, dude says he likes you, time to move forward from that point. Now we'll see if he does more or not. If he keeps on with not initiating convos and other stuff that appear to "you" to show a lack of interest, we'll deal with that down the road.

 

Like I recommended, when he comes back, meet up for coffee/lunch - catch up on your holidays and then just let it flow naturally. If he's not initiating, you all aren't going out on dates and stuff - then, yea, at that point I guess you need to find out what "like" means to him or if he simply is a passive person.

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