What is attractive about a man?

[MineEyes11]

Ok from previous posts...I'm trying to date and more specifically I suppose I'm trying to become attractive to women.

 

So I'm just trying to get an idea for what women want(good luck right? Lol)

 

So women, what do you find attractive about a man? What gets your attention?

 

I'm not looking for standard answers either...for once just be blunt and don't worry about being nice and trying not to hurt feelings. Be as superficial as you want...people are superficial, they just hate admitting it.

 

If you can please...give some examples of men you have been attracted to and why. I'm basically giving you an essay test lol.

[Sweetfish]

Ok from previous posts...I'm trying to date and more specifically I suppose I'm trying to become attractive to women.

 

So I'm just trying to get an idea for what women want(good luck right? Lol)

 

So women, what do you find attractive about a man? What gets your attention?

 

I'm not looking for standard answers either...for once just be blunt and don't worry about being nice and trying not to hurt feelings. Be as superficial as you want...people are superficial, they just hate admitting it.

 

If you can please...give some examples of men you have been attracted to and why. I'm basically giving you an essay test lol.

 

 

LMAO... this is going to be real interesting.

[MineEyes11]

Yeah it is...I'm sitting here patiently waiting with my notepad lol

[MineEyes11]

Confidence: Traits Women Look For - AskMen

 

I literally have none of these lol

[IfonlyIknew]

Oohhh this is hilarious I love it. Well... the 1st thing that comes to mind is a man that blew me away from the 1st moment I seen him at a restaurant I watched him for about 15 minutes... seen he was confident, his smile and eyes just drew me in, but mostly.. how he interacted with his friends, and how nice he was to the servers. He seemed like an all around good guy. I walked right up to him and said "Why aren't we married yet?" Lol we've been together almost 10 months now.

 

It's so much more than looks. I work at a construction company with 60 men, only other woman is my boss who is married to one of them Lol, so I deal with men daily and I could tell you the qualities that make them attractive mostly have to do with how they carry themselves. Confidence goes a long way.

[MineEyes11]

I can't seem to wrap my head around the whole confidence thing.

 

It's so very vague and relative...

[IfonlyIknew]

It could have something to do with how we view men to lead. We feel good when we think they "know what they're doing" even if they don't think so but act like it, it could help us feel safe. Stability also plays a huge factor but that's after getting to know them of course.

[winny]

Playfulness

[HereNorThere]

I can't seem to wrap my head around the whole confidence thing.

 

It's so very vague and relative...

 

Ugh, there's nothing vague or relative about it.

 

Definition of confidence

 

1

a : a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances <had perfect confidence in her ability to succeed> <met the risk with brash confidence>

b : faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way <have confidence in a leader>

2

: the quality or state of being certain : certitude <they had every confidence of success>

3

a : a relation of trust or intimacy <took his friend into his confidence>

b : reliance on another's discretion <their story was told in strictest confidence>

c : support especially in a legislative body <vote of confidence>

4

: a communication made in confidence : secret <accused him of betraying a confidence>

 

 

You ever learn to do something, anything? Can you ride a bike? Drive a car? Do you remember how you felt before you learned how to drive? Do you remember how you felt after you learned to drive?

 

You build confidence, meaning you become certain in your ability, when you become proficient at something. In the context of attraction, the confidence you are portaying is not your confidence with the opposite sex, it's the confidence you have in your ability to become profient and successful.

 

You build this confidence by taking risks and learning from your success as well as your failures. Dissect your interactions, ask for feedback, try to leave people better than you found them, watch other guys who are better with women than you are, read books, and alter your behavior and viewpoint accordingly. The more times you put yourself out there, the more chances you will succeed. That success builds genuine confidence and creates a snowball effect that increases the number of successes you ultimately have. In a sense, you become a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

Just make sure you are learning from your experiences and progressing. Don't go out and creep out the dating pool. Be genuine and courteous in your interactions and leave girls at work alone. Works sucks enough as it is.

Edited December 24, 2016 by HereNorThere

[Sweetfish]

I can't seem to wrap my head around the whole confidence thing.

 

It's so very vague and relative...

 

That's because you are a man and don't understand that when we see a good looking female, the gears and cogs that allows us to be attracted to that gender is not equivalent to the gears and cogs in a females mind that makes her attracted to a male.

 

 

To be attracted to a women, good looks just shows you have the capability of picking up other women. Its not in the essence that good looks attracts her. Your social interaction, how you command other people, money, and power are the gears and cogs that make you attractive.

 

Being honest, caring and understanding are just universal traits among both genders and make no sense when people look for these traits as they should be obvious. Its like asking a cars sale men if the car they are buying is reliable.

 

When men see a woman in a nice dress they are attracted to her looks.

 

When a female see a man dress nice it shows his character and that is the difference in attraction.

 

This character can translate into long-term security.

 

The minute the honey-moon phase is gone. Your long-term attributes will be broken down even further.

[Lorenza]

These are not necessarily the traits of guys I dated before, but here it goes:

 

I like when guys are a bit dominant, intelligent and can converse about any topic, have a passion or some interest that requires creativity, affectionate, respect and loves their parents/family, kind to people and animals.

 

On the exterior, what captures my attention is strong arms/shoulders, height (sorry), voice or way of talking (unpleasant voice had been a dealbreaker to me a couple of times!), eyes, smile etc. Also, the clothing and hair style creates quite an impression, so it has to be neat and good looking.

 

A guy who isn't quite handsome by societies standards can pull it off for me by working out and having nice body, dressing and styling well and having a charming, intelligent aura about him.

[basil67]

I love silliness. And a guy's ability laugh at himself.

 

In short, he can't take himself seriously.

[BaileyB]

Kindness and a sense of humor.

[Gaeta]

Humor is the way to my heart.

 

I also will say confidence is a major factor in attraction. A man does not have to be 'pretty' to get my attention if he oozes confidence I will be curious about him.

 

Other than that grooming. A man well put together, that keeps well groomed and clean, no sweat pants and running shoes for goodness sake

[BluesPower]

As a guy I won't post info, well, because I am a guy.

 

But I will say that I find you ladies answers fascinating.

[bachdude]

I wonder how a guy can look confident eating at a restaurant or how he oozes confidence.

 

 

Women of LS, do you think the guys who come off as overly confident externally may actually have a lot of insecurities?

 

 

That's my impression of a lot overly confident/alpha type guys.

 

 

The normal type man who just goes about his business may have fewer insecurities than the guy who oozes confidence.

 

 

What do you think?

Edited December 24, 2016 by bachdude

[BluesPower]

Batch, I can help with that one...

 

See if you wonder about confidence, basically, you don't have it. You may be able to develop it but you def don't have it.

 

You are also young and that may be some of it.

 

In my mind I guess it works like this, maybe, I never really thought about it.

 

See, I am 52 years old and for the most part I really don't care what others think about me for one. I treat others with respect and expect to be treated the same way by them. I am a gentleman at all times, not because I want to impress anyone but because that it the proper way to be.

 

I like myself, I have made mistakes and learned from them. I carry myself proudly because I am proud of the man that I am. I keep myself in shape for me not for the ladies. I love cats, dogs and all children, especially babies. I was a great husband, I am a great father.

 

I know how to please a women in bed. I am not some kind of super stud or anything, but it is really not that hard to understand what sex is about.

 

If I see a woman that I fancy, I ask her out, if we click great, if we don't, it does not affect my confidence or make me butt hurt. Some people click and some don't.

 

I treat my employees well and I expect for them to give me 100%. If they don't they are gone, if the do I reward them further.

 

That is all I can think of, like I said, I don't really think about it that much. Most of this is stuff that you kind of understand or your don't. If you don't you need to figure it out, like you seem to be doing with this post.

 

I don't know if any of this helps you at all.

[Calmandfocused]

I love a hairy chest. I find it unfathomable why a man would want to shave it.

 

Keep the hair guys. It's sexy

[niji]

@bachdude: what you describe as alpha male or overly confident reminds me of the typical jock in highschool and undergrad who wears tight clothing to show off his muscles and talks to women as if they're dying to have sex with him. Once they open their mouth they just make me want to laugh hysterically then walk away as I have no time for their silliness. That is the opposite of confidence.

 

Confidence is knowing your strengths and weaknesses and not conform to society's norm if it differs from your own standards - or to anyone else's expectations to gain their attention. But it is NOT defying all of society's norms JUST to be different - that is also a lack of confidence. People who are confident do not need to prove anything - they are who they are and don't change it for others.

 

A woman likes photography. The first man knows nothing about it but goes on wiki to read about it then proceeds to tell her he loves it too (together with some random facts that he just read), just in the hope of getting the chick, is a man lacking in confidence. The second man also knows nothing about it, tells her so - "I don't know much about photography, but I'd love to hear some more", is much more confident and more likely to attract the woman in the long run. I asked my SO what he thought about me on our first date and he said, "that you were really smart". I asked how can you know someone is smart in such a short time, he says, "smart people know a lot but also admit right away the things they don't know".

 

I hate going to crowded places, so clubs and bars are out. I don't pretend to like them so that I have more friends or dates. If you and I have different interests, we're not compatible, simple as that. Confidence is maintaining your own ground while respecting others' hobbies and opinions.

Edited December 24, 2016 by niji

[justsaysure]

I want eyes on me, like I'm the last f*cking unicorn that will ever prance in your presence... if you look at another woman, remind me I'm better as I check her out (I am a Cancer-Leo... out and about, I've gone out of my way to be the most gorgeous creature you'll see this week... compliments will get you everywhere)

 

display class, education, humor, confidence... work those eye balls... make me want to make your babies... be a gentleman.

 

I went to lunch with a man who plans to be mayor of our city one day... Tall, not skinny but not fat either... business formal... got food all over his cheeks... facial hair... oh my. Primal urge said lick it off... class said "he needs you to ever make a ballot". Needless to say, guess who's kids I've not considered having.

[niji]

Forgot to answer the main question

 

Physical attributes: arms (I'm in love with toned arms, no beach muscles please), height ( but I've liked people who are 5'6" and under so please don't cry about how hopeless you are if you're short), back, shoulders. But most importantly, cleanly dressed, neat, hygienic. Showering is much appreciated.

 

Personality: kindness, honesty, humor (very important to be able to laugh at yourself and be silly once in a while), nice but firm. I thought that quote "nice guys finish last" is hilarious. Women hate jerks, but they're also not attracted to males who have no spine. Don't confuse kindness with weakness. A man can be kind and firm and stands up for what he believes in. Nice guys finish FIRST, if they stand up for themselves.

[smackie9]

Confidence: not nervous, the ability to socialize freely making people comfortable around them, strong presence, fearless, fun, can make good eye contact, not afraid to put themselves out there, feels good about themselves but not egotistical, easy going, walk with a slight swagger........yummy!

[anduina]

Witty and intelligent. Intellectually honest with an open and curious mind. That's my type.

[DK_Casus]

Being curious about confidence openly means you're confident enough not to pretend.

 

Now, I'm a guy - but I have no doubt that's more attractive than guys who act confident as if they've read about it in a book. Unless you're too stupid to see through the act.

 

Telling people they're not confident because they're asking what it means is nonsense.

 

Personally, I would say I'm confident insofar as my authenticity and integrity goes - but I'm not particularly confident about my looks. I find it very hard to be objective about my own visual appeal - or lack thereof.

 

As such, I'm not confident enough to assume a woman will be attracted to me just because I act a certain way - and it's not in my character to put on an act to please anyone, for any reason.

 

For this reason, I never approach women in a traditional sense - because approaching strange women is not part of my character. It would be an act - and I can't act.

 

I have to engage them on a level playing field - like in a completely normal conversation.

 

That said, I tend to do (surprisingly) well in group settings - like a meeting. I've had women approach me right after such situations quite frequently.

 

For one reason or another, I guess women find men who "take control" under those circumstances interesting or appealing.

 

I would never categorize myself as an alpha male - though people have called me that on occasion. In fact, I loathe the concept - and I find it insulting, whether it's being used for or against me.

 

But when it comes to situations where a leader is required, I tend to take to it naturally - but ONLY if other people don't take the initiative. I always wait a little - because I have no interest in leading.

 

But, more often than not, people just sit around twiddling their thumbs. I hate not contributing or progressing in such situations - and that's the only reason I take charge. I suppose that's one kind of confidence.

[OnlyHonesty]

Confidence: Traits Women Look For - AskMen

 

I literally have none of these lol

 

A certain type of woman can bring them out and you might be surprised you have more of them than you imagined.