whitewitch Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 So second half of last year (2015), I met a guy in uni classes. We were KIND of friends throughout the semester, and I sensed he was interested in something more.. but I liked someone else at the time, so I ignored it. Occasionally I would not reply to his messages, and the last one he sent me was "hey what's your number?" to which I never replied. Nothing else happened for 9 months. Fast forward to 3 months ago, and he posted this hilarious troll post to this facebook page I'm a part of. I randomly messaged him through facebook and said "LOL.. trust," which was the first communication for a long while. He replied, and we started talking from there. Eventually, it became clear he was still interested and asked to meet up at uni. Considering I broke up with my boyfriend about a month beforehand, I thought why not We met up for lunch, and we got along really well. After eating, we went and sat by a sports field and talked for 2 hours.. and the whole time I could feel the tension between us, and it was pretty intense LOL. I felt it with him the previous year as well, but as mentioned, I already liked another guy. We kept in contact very regularly after that, mostly through facebook and snapchat. We were pretty busy with uni, work, and friends, so it was hard to find time to meet up, but two weeks later he asked whether I was free "sometime after 5:30" .. which I thought was his awkward way of asking for a dinner date lol. He is very good looking, very tall, and very smart.. but I get this vibe he doesn't ask girls out often, and I'm a pretty intuitive person.. About two weeks after meeting the first time, and keeping in contact everyday, we went to a restaurant for dinner, which went very nicely, and then to a bar. The chemistry was insane, and we kissed. For a month afterwards, it was uni exam period so we didn't have time to see each other in person.. especially him, as he does final year combined maths and finance and was dying from workload. However, he still talked to me everyday, whether it be through facebook or snapchat. Over that month, he told me he wanted me to meet his friends and coworkers, that he "obviously liked me," that he liked my weirdness (I'm pretty weird lol) etc. We finally found a time to meet after exams on a Friday night. None of us booked a place, and almost everywhere was busy, so we just wandered around the city for over an hour chatting about literally everything, exploring empty churches etc. We get along so easily and so naturally, and it was nice. The tension + chemistry was almost tangible. After we did eat, it was about 10:30pm, and we found a grass hillside with a waterfront view of the entire city. Once we lay down there, we kissed, and he was being so insanely affectionate I couldn't help but be shocked. I'm an extremely affectionate person in relationships, but this was even more than me. I remember lying there thinking "what on earth is going on..", however, I did reciprocate and enjoyed it immensely However, the next day, he went cold. He didn't contact me all day, but I went to a friend's birthday with an amazing view the following night and sent him a couple of snapchats of that. He replied, and the snapchat conversation continued to about 11:30 the following morning...... but I just sensed he didn't want to talk very much, and didn't reply when a reply wasn't needed. That night, he tagged me in something on facebook, and I liked his comment. Over the next week, nothing happened except I tagged him in something on facebook, which he liked, and also sent him a snapchat of my weekend with friends, which he replied to, but the conversation came to a standstill. He replayed snapchats if they were selfies of me..... I decided to stop contacting him and let him initiate a conversation, but he never did. It's been almost two weeks of pretty much 0 contact, and I have no idea what happened, as he went cold pretty much overnight..... after he seemed so into me Too long to explain here, but I also think he's been trying to make me jealous. So, what happened?? did I do something wrong? did he get scared of the prospect of an actual relationship? does he not know how to proceed/is too scared to proceed??? Why isn't he talking to me?????? Was he only in it for the chase, as I rejected him last year? And most importantly, should I ask him what's up?? Or should I just leave it as it is and completely move on Please help!!
winny Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 I am sorry, I know it is hard when people go cold like this but just try to move on and not dwell on it much Who knows whats on his mind..... 1
VeveCakes Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 sounds like he is a bit emotionally unavailable or not ready or maybe not mature enough to date? Things got too real so he is fading. I would maintain the vibe of sitting back and not reaching out. If he does go from there, if not then don't pursue further. 2
Sweetfish Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 the last one he sent me was "hey what's your number? You kinda blew him off a awhile ago and ignored him. (you valued some one else more) You broke up with your boyfriend and now you show him interest. I decided to stop contacting him and let him initiate a conversation, but he never did. It's been almost two weeks of pretty much 0 contact, and I have no idea what happened Maybe he is now interested in someone else. You ignore his msg for 9 months. 2 weeks seems pretty moderate in comparison.
HereNorThere Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Number of times you ghosted him=1 Number of times he ghosted you=1 On the bright side, the cosmic unbalance has been corrected. It will be interesting to see if you guys end up going for best 2 out 3. Keep us updated. 1
winny Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 You kinda blew him off a awhile ago and ignored him. (you valued some one else more) You broke up with your boyfriend and now you show him interest. Maybe he is now interested in someone else. You ignore his msg for 9 months. 2 weeks seems pretty moderate in comparison. But she didnt go out with him and kiss him and all that.... he did all that and now quiet... 1
Author whitewitch Posted December 24, 2016 Author Posted December 24, 2016 Thanks for your honest answers guys <3 and yeah, I probably won't take any action and move on 1
nothingsintheflowerz Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Yeah, girl, move on. I'm sorry. You'll drive yourself insane wondering why, and you deserve better anyway. Take care <3
leogirl876 Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Move on! If a guy goes cold on you, take that as a good thing for you because he'd do it eventually anyway and would've wasted your time. I really wish the recent guy I dated would've done that early on instead of wasting my time. 1
winny Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Also know that guys who are hot and cold are not very secure and stable emotionally and would drain you with their behavior.... while it is okay to lose interest in someone but those who change opinions overnight and then never speak up... or come back briefly and then go back again... these guys have emotional issues. You really don't wanna get involved with them. 1
umirano Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Another lesson might be not to ghost people... 1
Eliorana Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 I would just like you go mad from wondering why, what happened, why did he become cold etc. etc. because i tend to overthink. But still, if i felt something for him, i would probably take the risk to ask what happened. And if i wouldn't get anything out from him by asking, then i would let it go and move on. 1
Author whitewitch Posted December 25, 2016 Author Posted December 25, 2016 Well, he randomly wished me merry christmas lol.. 1
Author whitewitch Posted January 22, 2017 Author Posted January 22, 2017 So a quick update: I had a free house about a week ago, as my family is on a trip, so I allowed him to come over (he asked first). I told him beforehand not to "expect" anything, and he was totally fine with that. We had an amazing date, went back to mine, had a great time drinking wine, talking and then went to bed. He slept next to me in my bed and we almost had sex, but managed to stop ourselves (he was the one to prevent it from happening, as he knew I was tipsy/drunk). He cuddled me throughout the night and was REALLY affectionate, even moreso than I described in our last date. If I was looking away from him, he would pull my face towards his, just so he could stare into my eyes for ages... it was almost too intense. He left after breakfast and a cup of tea to go to work the next day, and after almost a week he hasn't said anything, exactly the same situation as before. What gives??? I have a pretty good intuition when it comes to people, and I KNOW that he likes me, but I don't know why he's being like this!! I think you guys were right in saying that something is wrong with him emotionally Should have listened and just not gotten involved again haha..
ExpatInItaly Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 (edited) He's clearly not looking for anything serious. Maybe he's also seeing other girls, or he just doesn't want a relationship. Maybe he's actually a bit of player who knows how to keep you hooked while not being very interested in anything more. Either way, his actions are demonstrating that you're not on the same page. I would let this one go. Edited January 22, 2017 by ExpatInItaly 1
preraph Posted January 22, 2017 Posted January 22, 2017 Something didn't feel right to him. Maybe he sensed you'd require a full relationship and he's not ready for that or maybe he was curious sexually about you, though I would have thought he'd have followed through on that before dumping you. Maybe he didn't feel the chemistry. Anyway, just move on. Date other guys. Sorry.
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