fred123 Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 has anyone ever strung someone along and for how long? isn't the onus on you to know when to end things if it isn't going somewhere?
VeveCakes Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Yes lots of selfish inconsiderate people do. For back up, ego boost, etc. 4
Author fred123 Posted December 23, 2016 Author Posted December 23, 2016 For half a year? Thats a long time.
VeveCakes Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Some people do it for YEARS. If it you allow it THAT long, its your own fault at this point. 2
MineEyes11 Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 This is why, as a man, you state your intent from the beginning. If you don't like getting strung along you should take the lead and ask them out, make the first move. Be assertive and take action, don't sit around wondering why a girl doesn't like you. Tell you like her, ask her out, kiss her, etc. Don't hope that something happens, make something happen. And if she's stringing you along, be direct and tell her how you feel and ask how she feels. Be direct and say what you're thinking and either escalate from there or move on. It takes guts to do it but it shows confidence and you will be able to get what you want or move on, both of which are better than sitting around wondering IF something is ever going to happen. 1
scooby-philly Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Agree with the previous poster. A man has to act. Don't believe all of the "new male" crap out there. Yes - be polite, educated, funny, etc. But also don't be a wuss. Sure woman string guys along. It's tough for a woman - so many expectations from society, family, friends - whether stated or just unconsciously over and over again. But it's equally as tough for a guy - living up to the sometimes clashing "models" - presented to us. First rule - be yourself. Second - as previous poster said - lay the ground rules. Give them options but give them deadlines. Dated a women 3 yrs ago. Didn't get physical till like date 10. Which for me, is waiting.....I'm a passionate and affectionate guy. But...she kept cancelling or re-scheduling dates because she was "helping a friend out" and then "helping her mom deal with things". I'm all for family and friends. But at 12-15 dates, 3+ months in - you either tell me more (not all the gory details, but more than "I can't see you this weekend (at all) b/c I'm "helping a friend out") or goodbye. Could have been ex-husband. Could have been seeing multiple guys - doesn't matter. There's several points in the first year where it's - **** or get off the pot. Respect yourself first and you'll be surprised how easier dating is. doesn't mean you'll find the one over night, but you will find it easier to deal with emotional rollercoaster. 1
winny Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Yes many girls do it - it is a sign of low character.
smackie9 Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Not just girls, guys do it too. Is it on you? Of course. You are responsible for your own actions. It's up to you to listen your head and not your heart......and listen to what your friends are telling you too. Life is full of lessons, and being mislead by people is just par for the course. You learn from your experiences so it doesn't happen again. 4
CobraX Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Maybe this is just me... but I think that either she is adding something to your life or not. If not then what's the point? 1
Gloria25 Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Uh, like others pretty much said, it's not gender specific - there's guys and gals who lead people on. IMO, at the end of the day we cannot control other's actions - but we can control ours. What I'm trying to say is, if someone isn't doing/saying the things that make you feel that the RL isn't advancing - it's up to you to tolerate the situation or discuss it with them and make a decision if they're stringing you along or not. 1
carhill Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 isn't the onus on you to know when to end things if it isn't going somewhere? I think that's healthy in any relationship but humans tend to become clouded a bit by emotions and emotions are, or can be, strong in romance. It's that reproductive drive versus socialization and self-interest. IME, I've met very few women who've strung me along. Sure, there have been some, and some spectacularly but still a marked minority. Easiest way to get rid of one? Call them on it. Poof. 2
preraph Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 I've never in my 60 years known a woman who did that, but lots of men do, but they have a motive. Most women are happy to get away once they know it's not on.
phineas Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 I've never in my 60 years known a woman who did that, but lots of men do, but they have a motive. Most women are happy to get away once they know it's not on. pretty much every woman who has a "guy friend" that hangs out with her and pays for her, and does favors for her but not getting sex from her is doing it. 2
basil67 Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 isn't the onus on you to know when to end things if it isn't going somewhere? Not everyone has the ability to make a snap decision about whether or not the relationship has a future. I would guess that many people spend a bit longer with someone they have doubts about just to make sure they aren't doing a GIGS thing or rushing away for no good reason. With all the talk about not giving up quickly, I would think it's a good thing for a person to take their time coming to the conclusion it's not happening.
Gloria25 Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 pretty much every woman who has a "guy friend" that hangs out with her and pays for her, and does favors for her but not getting sex from her is doing it. Oh yes, I've seen women who have a lot of guy "friends" Recently ran into one who literally worked three guys in less than 15 min. Disgusting....
carnelian Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Of course women do. I have personally known many in my long life. Eventually you discover that they are not interested in you, maybe never were. I call this the delayed rejection plan DRP...theykeep the excuses coming and you like her so you give her the benefit of the doubt and you end up disappointed and even sorry you asked her for a date. Most of the girls I asked out in my life, I now wish that I had not.
Redhead14 Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 has anyone ever strung someone along and for how long? isn't the onus on you to know when to end things if it isn't going somewhere? Girls might string a guy along, mature, secure women don't. If you feel you are being strung along, it's on you to end things otherwise you're actually stringing yourself along. 1
preraph Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 pretty much every woman who has a "guy friend" that hangs out with her and pays for her, and does favors for her but not getting sex from her is doing it. I disagree. Many women believe those buzzards when they're acting like they're "just friends" and have no reason to believe otherwise until they're much older and wiser and realize what liars men can be, especially the scared ones. 1
Nowty V Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 Does the Pope crap in the woods? Are Bears Catholic? It is not gender specific, manipulative people string other people along, period.
Shining One Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 I disagree. Many women believe those buzzards when they're acting like they're "just friends" and have no reason to believe otherwise until they're much older and wiser and realize what liars men can be, especially the scared ones.There are also many women who know what they're doing. They flirt / lead men on to get something they want: Attention, free drinks/entertainment, gifts, favors, etc. This is coming from someone who has been led on by quite a few women in my younger years.
Gloria25 Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 Girls might string a guy along, mature, secure women don't. If you feel you are being strung along, it's on you to end things otherwise you're actually stringing yourself along. Uh, doesn't matter level of maturity of the woman. When people want something from someone, they manipulate, play games - essentially "string them along". And IMO, this is a "skill" that some women have (which I don't have) - regardless of age or maturity. Seen the town skank do it and take away an idiot I was seeing years ago. I over, and over get passed over for chicks who got game. And I'm a "mature" and "secure" woman. Shoot, IMO, a "mature" and "secure" woman doesn't pull these games with men - so, I agree with you. But, I agree with you that a REAL "mature" and "secure" woman doesn't walk around trying to "get" things from men. She's got her stuff together, she ain't looking for a "pet", someone to pay her bills, someone to fix her stove.
thefooloftheyear Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 (edited) pretty much every woman who has a "guy friend" that hangs out with her and pays for her, and does favors for her but not getting sex from her is doing it. Have to agree here... One of my closer friends has this woman that he's been chasing after for the better part of 4 years now....It took almost a year of swooning, wining, dining, etc, for him to finally get laid...They are both mid 50's... She'll talk to him on the phone or text, but has, from the beginning made every type of excuse to back out of dates with him, unless she has absolutely NOTHING else to do, or is feeling down about herself..Since then he has only slept with her maybe a total of 5 or 6 times...I told him she only finally gives in to give him a shred of hope, so he doesn't completely disappear.. He is like Charlie Brown and she is Lucy, pulling the football away, and he lands flat on his back.. All she is doing is keeping him at arms length til a better deal finally comes her way and to massage her ego...She isn't even attractive(to me, anyway)......Why he allows himself to go through this is anyone's guess...Id sooner drag my nuts over a hundred yards of broken glass before participating in that nonsense....but that's me... TFY Edited December 26, 2016 by thefooloftheyear 1
Gloria25 Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 Have to agree here... One of my closer friends has this woman that he's been chasing after for the better part of 4 years now....It took almost a year of swooning, wining, dining, etc, for him to finally get laid...They are both mid 50's... She'll talk to him on the phone or text, but has, from the beginning made every type of excuse to back out of dates with him, unless she has absolutely NOTHING else to do, or is feeling down about herself..Since then he has only slept with her maybe a total of 5 or 6 times...I told him she only finally gives in to give him a shred of hope, so he doesn't completely disappear.. He is like Charlie Brown and she is Lucy, pulling the football away, and he lands flat on his back.. All she is doing is keeping him at arms length til a better deal finally comes her way...Why he allows himself to go through this is anyone's guess...Id sooner drag my nuts over a hundred yards of broken glass before doing that nonsense....but that's me... TFY And, IMO, most men seem to love this "torture" (like said in a Taylor Swift song), cuz, when I come to guys with no games, manipulations; and, show them attention/affection - they question it as if I have some ulterior motive. I mean, again, taking me back to time that guy that left me for Town Skank. I mean, dude, how many red flags did she have to exhibit for him to see she was a manipulative skank? She had a bunch of male "friends" - who she said, "insisted" she take gifts from them ; she "claims" she cleans houses for a living, but her "uniform" is skin tight jeans, tight tops, heels, and nails/hair always well done:rolleyes:; she told him to tell everyone they're "just friends" cuz she doesn't like gossip (or better said, people to figure out she's sleeping with all these "friends")...and I could go on and on. Even with my current dude. I sometimes feel that he thinks I'm playing him or something and when his little "bro" told him some smack, he decided to throw me under the bus. Whatever...then that's good for him, I probably gather that his current gf isn't all that either cuz he's open to talking to other women. But eh, I guarantee that I've already lost him cuz sorry, unlike his gf and his little "bro", I have no game...I come for real. Some people just can't trust someone who's for real, but lap up all the torture and games other women spin their way...more power to those guys. 1
Recommended Posts