Jucab Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 I [28] met this girl [30], trough tinder a month ago. We texted everyday, sometimes I initiated contact and sometimes it was her that started the conversation. As things were looking good and there was attraction, we arranged a date. The first date went incredibly well, we started eating in a spanish restaurant and then we went for some drinking and dancing, there was a lot of contact (she even grabed my arm as we walked trough the club) and we both made clear that there was attraction for the other. We didn't kiss but we both had a great time. The next week after that, we continued talking, so we made plans to get some pastas and then go to hear some band near. Here things started to go downfall: I was feeling sick the day of the date, but said "**** it" and took some medication and continued with the plan. I went to her house by car and then we went to eat some pastas. The pastas were incredibly plain, also, the drink we ordered was so bad that we asked the barman to change it for another. As I was feeling sick, I wasn't very on, more like a little down and not so funny like the first time. After the bad pastas, we went to see the band. It was fun but we couldn't talk very much until after the show. We ordered some drinks and I started repeating all the night that I really found her attractive (I know, a little clingy from me), she said to me that there was this guy she dated that acted very possessive and clingy, that she had to ask him for space, wich he reacted negatively. They never spoke again. So, after some generic talking, we decided not to dance because she was feeling pain in her stomach. So after four hours we decided to end the day. I left her at her house and when I arrived to mine, I sent her a voice text trough whatsapp saying that I was sorry that the date wasn't as good as the first, that even that I was feeling sick I had a great time,,, and I also repeated that I found her an amazing woman (clingy again). Sunday I send her a text asking how she was feeling... no response. Monday comes and at 9 AM she sends me a text saying that she rested all sunday and that now she was ok. She asked how I was feeling. We talked a bit, I thanked her for going out with me even if I was sick that day. I apologized again for the date (another insecure behavior). Then I asked if she wanted to go with me and some friends to the beach on january (we made plans for this after the first date), she answered that she was on but not very enthusiastically. Tuesday I send her a message first. I was on an electronic store and, knowing that she needed an auxiliar cable (she mentioned it when I was taking her home after the second date), I asked her if she wanted me to get one for her. She answered vaguely so I asked again. After an hour of silence I said to her that she didn't have to worry as I already left the store. She answered inmediatly saying that sorry, that she forgot to answer. I replyied "don't worry" and now the conversation is stalled at that point. It's been two days and she didn't contact me, I'm thinking of sendind a voice message on monday asking her to go to a new year party, but I'm also thinking of not talking her anymore to see if she is still interested. So, the question is, should I contact her on monday with concrete plans or should I wait and see if she talks to me again? Any input or advice will be greatly aprreciated *Sorry for my english 1
Satu Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 It really doesn't sound like she's very interested. You could contact her again, but if there's no positive response to that, it would be best to just move on. Take care. 1
TheTraveler Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 All that drinking and dancing and more drinking on multiple dates you never went for the kiss? Learn from this mistake. I would not contact her and see if she reaches out.
Author Jucab Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 All that drinking and dancing and more drinking on multiple dates you never went for the kiss? Learn from this mistake. I would not contact her and see if she reaches out. Yeah, at least it has been a good lesson. She is so attractive that I lowered my guard and acted insecure. I'm thinking the same, I should erase from my contacts and see if she reaches out me again.
dumbass2 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Yeah, I'd cool it for a bit. You might text her again after Christmas if she doesn't get back to you. You came off way too needy and insecure. You see that so know you have to figure out how to not do that. Take her down off her pedestal. The reason why you are doing this. No one is better than you. You've got learn to be confident around attractive women. Having drinks should lower your inhibitions. Definitely by the second date with drinks involved their should be a little kissing if their is mutual attraction. i know you were sick, but you can't miss these opportunities. You don't always get another chance. Live and learn which it sounds like you're doing. Remember these things if she talks to you again. Women love a confident man. 2
OnlyHonesty Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 She answered immediately saying that sorry, that she forgot to answer. I wouldn't contact her again, she's not interested. If you contact her again, it will be a mistake and it won't be long till you see that. 1
Author Jucab Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 I wouldn't contact her again, she's not interested. If you contact her again, it will be a mistake and it won't be long till you see that. That is exactly what crossed my mind. You don't forget to answer to someone you are into. And I asked her twice so it's pretty clear. I think I'm going to delete her from my contacts so I don't obsess over it. I know this shouldn't affect me, but I find so hard to finally go out on a date with someone you feel great chemistry... well, back to the dating scene I guess.
angel.eyes Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Ask her on another date. Her response will tell you where you stand. If some guy was texting me about plugs and cables, rather than asking me on a date, I too would be less than enthused. Isn't the point here to date her and get to know her? She's looking for a date, not a personal shopper.
Author Jucab Posted December 23, 2016 Author Posted December 23, 2016 Ask her on another date. Her response will tell you where you stand. If some guy was texting me about plugs and cables, rather than asking me on a date, I too would be less than enthused. Isn't the point here to date her and get to know her? She's looking for a date, not a personal shopper. I guess I have nothing to loose, and you are right, from now on I will use the phone only to arrange dates and not to chitchat
angel.eyes Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 It's fine to chit chat...I for one very much enjoy talking with the guy I'm dating. That's a big part of getting to know the other person. But there should be a date on the calendar. 1
rushed Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 I would contact her again. For me personally, when I was single sometimes I just didn't text guys first, even if they were the last one to text me. Just remember - stop apologizing and don't act clingy. Confidence, guy!
winny Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Why would you offer to buy her stuff? That's the weirdest thing ever..... that would totally turn me off unless I have had few dates with someone or I asked them for help.
winny Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 Also this - "Then I asked if she wanted to go with me and some friends to the beach on january" Don't do this. She hasn't agreed to a 3rd date and you are asking about January. Cool it.
Author Jucab Posted December 23, 2016 Author Posted December 23, 2016 I would contact her again. For me personally, when I was single sometimes I just didn't text guys first, even if they were the last one to text me. Just remember - stop apologizing and don't act clingy. Confidence, guy! That is the main issue. I have to act more confident. To be honest, I am a very shy person. When I was younger I never socialized as I should have. Never went to parties and all that. When I got to my 20's I was a very insecure man and with a lot a anxiety approaching womans. I must admit I was very lucky with online dating. For the past three years, I went to being a kissless virgin to date more womans that I ever imgined I could. It is still a long way to go on the art of seduction, but I'm getting better. This woman was the most attractive (in all sense) that I have been,, so it caught me off guard, the result was me acting very clingy and insecure. If i have the luck to go out with a similar girl in the future, I can't screw it again like this...
Author Jucab Posted December 23, 2016 Author Posted December 23, 2016 (edited) Also this - "Then I asked if she wanted to go with me and some friends to the beach on january" Don't do this. She hasn't agreed to a 3rd date and you are asking about January. Cool it. Yeah, it wasn't all of a sudden, that would be overly pushing. Before that, just after the first date, we both agreed that we wanted to go to the beach together, even we arranged the date (january). The reason was because we wanted to do some magic mooshrooms together. I forgot to mention that she proposed the idea of the beach. The cable thing, yeah that wasn't very smooth. I mentioned it because she asked in my car if I could give her the cable that I had inside my car... so that was the pretext to text her when I was in the electronics store Edited December 23, 2016 by Jucab
winny Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 The cable thing, yeah that wasn't very smooth. I mentioned it because she asked in my car if I could give her the cable that I had inside my car... so that was the pretext to text her when I was in the electronics store Why would anyone ask for your aux cable after the first date... thats weird on her part... in that case it is actually funny that you offered to buy on her one.... as if she is going around asking people to borrow their aux cable... LOL.. dunno what she would have thought... ha ha
Recommended Posts