GoldenR Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Some of you may remember my story...cheated on many times by many SOs. When I busted my now ex-wife cheating on me for the umpteenth time, I took all her stuff to OM's house and put it on his porch. When they went outside and saw it, that's when she knew I knew. I told her she couldn't come home. A few weeks later OM shows up at my house trying to fight me, attacking me, and won't stop no matter how many times I knocked him on his arse....I still have no idea why, as I had gone NC with W. I wind up breaking his arm. He calls the cops. They come. They arrest him. Lol. That was in 2003. Fast forward to 2012, I'm very happily remarried since 2007, and they're still together in one of the most dysfunctional relationships ever, according to my two daughters who were 22 and 20 at that time. And since the youngest is over 18, I'm ecstatic that I have no reason to communicate with ex w anymore. Oldest daughter has a baby and at the hospital, OM follows me around like a puppy dog, trying to be my best friend. It's ****ing annoying. And he's done that ever since, at subsequent childbirths of grandkids, grandkids bday parties and heart surgeries that my youngest has had. In January, youngest D (24) is having a final heart surgery. And of course, they'll be there. I was just at a bday party for a grandkid last weekend, and OM was up my ass more than ever. And I've hit my breaking point. I just can't take it anymore. My oldest D (26) told her mom not to bring him bc it's weird how he acts around me and it makes everyone uncomfortable. But she said she's bringing him. I'm gonna need some serious "woo-sah" moments to avoid choking him out. I guess I'm just venting. He's such a putzy dip****. 3
RecentChange Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Why doesn't your wife respect your grown daughters wishes? I had a similar situation growing up. I won't go into all the details, but i had a similar situation with my mom, her OM, now bf or whatever wasn't liked by us kids, and due to the history my dad wasn't thrilled about him either. After a few uncomfortable family gatherings we put our foot down, HE IS NOT WELCOME. She tried to manipulate us, saying that she wouldn't come without him - fine, she was given another option, don't come then. If new dude is more important to you than your flesh and blood you have made your decision. She almost missed my brother's wedding, and came to her senses and decided to come, and leave dude at home. They were together for a while - until he cheated on her and left her high and dry. She can leave him sitting in the car if it's so important to her that she comes. 5
NTV Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 I never heard your background story but that om got arrested is hilarious. I feel for ya having to put up with his presence after you should but if life were easy I'd be the president lol. Ignore the gnat and just be there for your kids. It sounds like they truly need it. Good luck! 1
Poutrew Posted December 23, 2016 Posted December 23, 2016 The OM knows he can't beat you up, so his new tactic is to be a sniveling ass licking sycophant. He know it bothers you, and he will never stop because he hates your guts... just don't play into the drama. Ignore the toady, and realize you make him look like a bacteria... it'll be alright. 1
Bufo Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Can you suggest to your daughters who aren't dependent kids anymore that should OM appear at family events you will choose to leave to prevent another beat down of him? Explain that they cannot be peacemakers here. If they have any sense they will figure out that Mom is the root of the problem and explain to her that she must choose between OM and family for these events. I would expect a challenge by OM directed at daughters. Are they strong enough to say "leave" and watch Mom walk out, too? Best of luck with this mess. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll drop dead!
Author GoldenR Posted December 24, 2016 Author Posted December 24, 2016 Damn sounds like he may be bi Ha! At first I wondered if it was an act to annoy me. My W says no. She's witnessed it every time. He's not really being annoying.....what I mean is if it was anyone else doing these same things, it wouldn't annoy me. Bc it's him, and our history, it drives me crazy. It's just weird...but maybe it's not. I mean, he lives with her (shudder). That can drive anyone to act weird, and be desperate to find intelligent conversation. Maybe this time I'll turn the tables on him and follow him around and be his one man posse like he does to me. Lol It's only twice a year max that I see him. I guess I can suck it up. 1
Marc878 Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Listen carefully and follow my advice to the letter. Do not make sudden stops or bend over in front of him. Try and keep your back to the wall:o 1
aliveagain Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 Friend, he's got your leftovers, maybe he wants to snivel his way into your new relationship. What a dirt bag. 1
MJJean Posted December 24, 2016 Posted December 24, 2016 You're both veterans of the same war. He's lived with your ex's bullpucky long enough now that he knows you're the only other person on the planet who understands what he deals with on a daily basis and he thinks that somehow bonds you. 3
Author GoldenR Posted December 24, 2016 Author Posted December 24, 2016 You're both veterans of the same war. He's lived with your ex's bullpucky long enough now that he knows you're the only other person on the planet who understands what he deals with on a daily basis and he thinks that somehow bonds you. Wow....this makes a lot of sense. Gives it a new spin.... 1
Popsicle Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 Definitely summon your inner Zen and continue to ignore him. Do NOT choke him out (although I understand your desire). Ignore, ignore, ignore. Eventually he'll get the message that you're not interested in being BFF's or buying into his drama. You're both veterans of the same war. He's lived with your ex's bullpucky long enough now that he knows you're the only other person on the planet who understands what he deals with on a daily basis and he thinks that somehow bonds you. This is probably true, but I'd advise against feeling sorry for him and giving in. Just ignore him and let him drown in his own swamp. 1
Cephalopod Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 I think you and him should join forces and destroy her.
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