just hit me with a shovel

[montie1]

alot has changed since i've last posted here. im at a better place now and my mentality has changed dramatically. changed my job and im just taking a breather home until i start this new job next year. i've set my goals, i know what i want and im going for it.

 

i dont know why my ex keeps contacting me. im waiting to end communcation with her as soon as she hits me up for some dumb reason again. emotionally im no longer attached to her, but i do still think about her, these past few days i've even dreamt about her. its my fault because i didnt take the correct steps to move on since we broke up, which is over a year ago. i just sat and wallowed, pitied myself and i just was sucking at life. had nothing going on so it kept me from moving on. she kept pulling me back in this mess. allow me to elaborate.

 

we broke up june last year, it was all final september we went our separate ways. she started university i was working. when we broke up she said she wanted different things, i was her 1st bf she was my 1st gf and it was a college relationship. after college we drifted apart never saw each other as much and it ended. now that i know better thats fine people break up they move on thats how it is.

 

2015:

September: saw her on social media talking to guys. called her told her i missed her said she'd call back she never did.

 

October: messaged her and wished her the best in exams and that was that. i decided to walk away from this after months of hurting.

 

November: she messaged me to see how i was doing. short convo left it there. a week after she messaged to aplogise for breaking my heart and telling me that she was sorry and what not.

 

december: she called and messaged. showing me things i bought her and we talked. said she doesnt know what the future holds for us. people break up and get back together all the time. kept putting hints out there. i tried to meet up didnt happen, asked her if she wanted to start over she said she doesnt know. nice, so we were over and 2016 would be without her.

 

2016;

January: she just wanted attention. messaged me saying i was talking bad behind her back with friends. utter bull**** i never even talked about her.

 

February: same thing again. saying we never had nothing to stop talking about her. i started to think shes crazy.

 

march: showing me pics of stuff i got her, wanted to know where she could get it.

 

april: asking about my family and my sisters.

 

may: same thing. even asking my friends about girls i talk to and stuff like that.

 

June: missing me and how things were. moments we shared and what not.

 

july. same thing. since june we would talk often. show me pictures of stuff i got her, would reminisce alot.

 

august: talk often share memories talk about things we were doing and things like that. asked her out like 3 times, she kept putting it off making up excuses and i never bothered again. wished her the best in school and told her we shouldnt talk as much anymore.

 

September: sending me pics of stuff again out of nowhere. telling me about people where she was and how they reminded her of me.

 

october: same ole thing. bringing up stuff from the past and asking random questions.

 

november: same **** again. even calling outta nowhere she would call every month once or twice just to talk a little bit.

 

Decemeber: called to ask me for directions on some stupid place. then told me about funny things i use to do and those dumb ass convos.

 

why she kept contacting me so much i have literally no idea. she was the one who broke up with me afterall.

 

Im dumb as **** i know. i havent been on any of her social media this year, i have never initiated contact once. i will be honest with you guys, i loved her very very much, she was really special to me and still is. she came into my life when i was a disaster and made it great, gave me the best years of my life and i wont forget her and those memories. but its been too long now and soon before i know it, it'll be 2 years since we broke up.

 

i hung around because i was depressed and lonely, was nice talking to her but im not putting myself through this and this false hope. she's had ample time to decide if she wants me in her life or not and clearly the answer is no. and i wish to no longer be a part of this.

 

i just posted this because i wanted help. i truly want to move on from this. things are finally beginning to look brighter and i dont want to be hung up on this again. i want to move on and finally put this behind me.

[Been]

I don't know. Sounds like she wants you somehow in her life.

You need to tell her to stop contacting you and then block her.

Sounds like she wants the best of both worlds. Doesn't want to date you but wants to talk with you.

[Slimtripper]

I just dont understand why anyone would stay in contact with someone after they break up with them. The dumper of course will love this. They get to keep you there to cushion the blow, then when they finally do move on, trust me, they wont be calling you anymore.

 

Im about 4 weeks into a break. After two weeks i felt so much better. Then i HAD to reply to an email as it involved finances we had to sort. I made it clear in that email that would be the last time i wanted any form of contact.

 

But it still set me back to the beginning. Every time u speak to her u go back to day one. Get some power back. Make her deal with the break up. Block her number. Have some pride in the fact that you are strong enough not to be her doormat. It wil be tough but like i said, eventually u have to go through that pain anyway. Better doing it before she drops u and moves on with someone else.

[jellybean824]

That's tough. I'm sorry to hear that your first relationship like this has ended badly. You've probably heard the saying that some people come into your life for a reason, and some people come into your life for a season. Maybe this is the end of both. You have some good memories with her, and it sounds like you had some tremendous growth during the relationship. However, it doesn't sound like she is wanting a serious relationship with you. As hard as it may be to move on, maybe going no contact is the best thing for you. It will probably give you the "closure" you are seeking.

[salem mark]

agree, move on, forget her, dont respond

 

shes reaching out when it suits her