CoolWalk Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Hi all, I am new here and so... I apologize if this is long. So I started a new job a week ago and I'm in training. Right away, I noticed the prettiest girl in the room and I guess I kind of subconsciously chuckled when she had her photo ID badge taken and she laughed and smiled with me. Ever since then she started eyeing me longer than 3 seconds. Eventually she complained of her seat and decided to sit right next to me. In work activities she always chooses to be on my team. Everywhere at work she seems to be around me even if it means to pass by me to throw something away. Now her legs are always pointing at me she crosses and uncrosses them while keeping her toes and feet in my direction. She sighs a lot, when I talk to her sometimes she bites her lips, twirls her finger through her hair, does the hair whip, and she constantly "accidentally" brushes my leg with her foot. Sometimes she keeps it there for 5 seconds or longer other times its her leg pressed against mine. Other things I noticed, her palms are always up, her wrists are exposed to me. She smiles and laughs when we talk especially when I tease her. She teases me by messing with my chair using her feet. Her hand several times has gotten literally 2 or 3 inches from touching mine on the computer table. The day during a work activity, she said she hated me because I'm too honest (I ratted out our team during a work activity for cheating to win.) but after she said it she couldn't stop looking at me and pointing her legs and feet at me and touching me. Also she breathes heavy around me or "freezes" when I scoot closer to her or move my leg toward her closer so she can keep caressing my leg, lol. Also she has touched my arm, my back, her knee against mine..mbshe leans in to talk to me quietly and focuses on my eyes and her eyes look at mine and my lips. When I talk to her, she faces me with her entire body, smiles, laughs and doesn't look at anyone or anything else. I didn't expect to meet such a lovely girl at work like this but one big problem... She has a boyfriend whom she's been with almost a year. I don't condone cheating and I'm not going to be that guy. But do you think this girl fancies me or is using me for an ego boost? Should I just play it cool and keep her in mind? I mean, I want to be her friend but I don't want to be a friend that's so physically attracted to her like I am. FWIW she doesn't really mention her boyfriend just says "my boyfriend does this or doesn't like that." Nothing like how she's crazy about him or anything or details. She did have a ring on her ring finger the first day in training and I noticed it. Now she hasn't worn it since so I don't know maybe she broke things off with her guy or maybe it's an on and off sort of thing? She does live in a different city than her boyfriend. Today, I tried to see if I could just ignore her and avoid her but I tell you, that did not last long. I can't stop looking at her or wanting to get closer. I am so into her personality she is funny, she's a leader among all the women in my training class Is she just using me for an ego boost? I did find out on a personal level that she was suicidal a year ago. Her deep scars are proof. She says she is no longer like that and met her boyfriend shortly after she became depressed. I felt horrible for seeing the scars and asking about them but honestly, I wanted to caress those scars so badly and be close to her. What's a guy to do here?
Mystique01 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) Hi all, I am new here and so... I apologize if this is long. So I started a new job a week ago and I'm in training. Right away, I noticed the prettiest girl in the room and I guess I kind of subconsciously chuckled when she had her photo ID badge taken and she laughed and smiled with me. Ever since then she started eyeing me longer than 3 seconds. Eventually she complained of her seat and decided to sit right next to me. In work activities she always chooses to be on my team. Everywhere at work she seems to be around me even if it means to pass by me to throw something away. Now her legs are always pointing at me she crosses and uncrosses them while keeping her toes and feet in my direction. She sighs a lot, when I talk to her sometimes she bites her lips, twirls her finger through her hair, does the hair whip, and she constantly "accidentally" brushes my leg with her foot. Sometimes she keeps it there for 5 seconds or longer other times its her leg pressed against mine. Other things I noticed, her palms are always up, her wrists are exposed to me. She smiles and laughs when we talk especially when I tease her. She teases me by messing with my chair using her feet. Her hand several times has gotten literally 2 or 3 inches from touching mine on the computer table. The day during a work activity, she said she hated me because I'm too honest (I ratted out our team during a work activity for cheating to win.) but after she said it she couldn't stop looking at me and pointing her legs and feet at me and touching me. Also she breathes heavy around me or "freezes" when I scoot closer to her or move my leg toward her closer so she can keep caressing my leg, lol. Also she has touched my arm, my back, her knee against mine..mbshe leans in to talk to me quietly and focuses on my eyes and her eyes look at mine and my lips. When I talk to her, she faces me with her entire body, smiles, laughs and doesn't look at anyone or anything else. I didn't expect to meet such a lovely girl at work like this but one big problem... She has a boyfriend whom she's been with almost a year. I don't condone cheating and I'm not going to be that guy. But do you think this girl fancies me or is using me for an ego boost? Should I just play it cool and keep her in mind? I mean, I want to be her friend but I don't want to be a friend that's so physically attracted to her like I am. FWIW she doesn't really mention her boyfriend just says "my boyfriend does this or doesn't like that." Nothing like how she's crazy about him or anything or details. She did have a ring on her ring finger the first day in training and I noticed it. Now she hasn't worn it since so I don't know maybe she broke things off with her guy or maybe it's an on and off sort of thing? She does live in a different city than her boyfriend. Today, I tried to see if I could just ignore her and avoid her but I tell you, that did not last long. I can't stop looking at her or wanting to get closer. I am so into her personality she is funny, she's a leader among all the women in my training class Is she just using me for an ego boost? I did find out on a personal level that she was suicidal a year ago. Her deep scars are proof. She says she is no longer like that and met her boyfriend shortly after she became depressed. I felt horrible for seeing the scars and asking about them but honestly, I wanted to caress those scars so badly and be close to her. What's a guy to do here? Honestly, after you mentioned this, that kind of ruined it all for me. Who cares how many times this girl points her toes towards you, or lingers her eye-contact with you for 3.5 seconds? The point of the matter is, this girl has a BOYFRIEND, and her behavior is certainly VERY flirtatious for a woman who's been dating a guy almost a year. Do you REALLY want to be with a woman who would be flirting with her male co-workers while at work even though she's dating you? Look, I know you're super attracted to her (you've pretty much picked up on and documented her entire body language cues and vital signs), but until she splits from her bf I honestly think it's best that you seek out women in (and OUT) of the office who are actually SINGLE and available to actually do smthg with you. Don't get into the work-flirt trap. It probably won't end well.... Edited December 22, 2016 by Mystique01 1
Author CoolWalk Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 Honestly, after you mentioned this, that kind of ruined it all for me. Who cares how many times this girl points her toes towards you, or lingers her eye-contact with you for 3.5 seconds? The point of the matter is, this girl has a BOYFRIEND, and her behavior is certainly VERY flirtatious for a woman who's been dating a guy almost a year. Do you REALLY want to be with a woman who would be flirting with her male co-workers while at work even though she's dating you? Look, I know you're super attracted to her (you've pretty much picked up on and documented her entire body language cues and vital signs), but until she splits from her bf I honestly think it's best that you seek out women in (and OUT) of the office who are actually SINGLE and available to actually do smthg with you. Don't get into the work-flirt trap. It probably won't end well.... Yeah, you are right. I appreciate your input. Its difficult to agree to someone else's point of view but I do happen to agee even if something came of this, I would eventually wonder if the same thing would happen to me behind my back. The work-flirt stuff is fun. I suppose I am guilty of being a part of it. Any suggestions on how I can appropriately avoid being led on (or vice versa) without having to pull her aside to confront her and coming off as a cold jerk?
smackie9 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Stop reciprocating and she will stop. And stop lusting after her for christ sakes.....all she is doing is lapping up the attention you give her. She's not interested in boinking you or other men, she just likes the reaction she gets. It makes her feel special, powerful, attractive, boosts her ego. She's just using you. You are being a silly fool.
kendahke Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 I didn't expect to meet such a lovely girl at work like this but one big problem... She has a boyfriend whom she's been with almost a year. What's a guy to do here? 1. Stop building that pedestal you're trying to put her on. 2. And don't be that guy who willfully falls for an attention monger who already has a boyfriend she's not leaving. 3. Don't isht where you eat. Meaning: don't date coworkers. It's messy.
IfonlyIknew Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 She's seeking attention, leave things be
Mystique01 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) Yeah, you are right. I appreciate your input. Its difficult to agree to someone else's point of view but I do happen to agee even if something came of this, I would eventually wonder if the same thing would happen to me behind my back. The work-flirt stuff is fun. I suppose I am guilty of being a part of it. Any suggestions on how I can appropriately avoid being led on (or vice versa) without having to pull her aside to confront her and coming off as a cold jerk? Like others have already mentioned, stop giving her attention. Stop putting her on a pedestal. Eventually the feelings will go away. Honestly, a guy who is married/seriously dating someone yet flirting with me in the office would be a HUGE turn-off to me. I don't care how charming, handsome, or nice-looking he is. It would eventually be a turn-off because I know he would probably do the same thing to me IF we ever got together. Tbh, if she were SINGLE I would say she is throwing you some MAJOR green lights (touching, deep eye-contact, playing footsies, leaning in close to you, etc), but as soon as I read that she has a bf of almost a year that killed it for me. Sorry! I don't care if she's in a "horrible" relationship with her bf, she should not be subtly flirting like this if she's in a relationship. Either dump the bf, or stop subtly flirting in the office and seeking attention. Unless she and her bf split up, I wouldn't give this girl any more time of day. Focus on girls who are actually SINGLE and available (and preferably OUTSIDE of the workplace). Trust me, you will thank us. Edited December 22, 2016 by Mystique01
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