Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 You also don't know if he has a girlfriend or is married. He never answered your question if he was single. One would think if he was and was totally interested and available he'd let you know. I think he's amused by you but isn't emotionally invested. Live your life, don't think ahead to August. Life happens and plans change so just because he says he'll contact you then doesn't mean he actually will follow through. I'm sure I stroked his ego, he must've loved it on some level!!! But, yes, he's not emotionally invested. I don't think he'll contact me until August. What can I say, I'm straightforward sometimes, perhaps too much, and it comes off as aggressive. I like to take it to the edge sometimes, as I thought he did, but we're obviously no longer on the same page!
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 I told you these kind of men tend to be selfish and insecure. You don't want all this drama for some sex. Seriously... I would totally ignore him going forward. Yes, you DID and you were clearly right! He obviously is still (if not more!) egotistical. Dude's a trained actor for crying-out loud, an "artiste! excusez-moi!" lol Meeting him in August could seriously ruin the essence of what I was hoping to attain in this spontaneous moment. It would probably be too anticlimactic.
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Yes, you DID and you were clearly right! He obviously is still (if not more!) egotistical. Dude's a trained actor for crying-out loud, an "artiste! excusez-moi!" lol Meeting him in August could seriously ruin the essence of what I was hoping to attain in this spontaneous moment. It would probably be too anticlimactic. Ha ha ha ha I just hope you are not shedding any tears....
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Ha ha ha ha I just hope you are not shedding any tears.... Not shedding tears, just feeling like an idiot who gave the dude the upper hand. I shouldn't have contacted him when he didn't call yesterday. That's my bad.
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Not shedding tears, just feeling like an idiot who gave the dude the upper hand. I shouldn't have contacted him when he didn't call yesterday. That's my bad. It's okay, your worth doesn't come from him. We are all learning... 2
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 It's okay, your worth doesn't come from him. We are all learning... OMG!!! I can't press "like" enough for this!!!! NOW I have tears in my eyes, this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me on here or IRL. THANK YOU, WINNY!!!!!!!!! 1
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 OMG!!! I can't press "like" enough for this!!!! NOW I have tears in my eyes, this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me on here or IRL. THANK YOU, WINNY!!!!!!!!! Aww sweetheart... anytime... I send you hugs... take care. 1
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 (((((((((((((((((((( winny )))))))))))))))))) 1
introverted1 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 But, it's TRUE, he never answered if he was single. He's either a player or too embarrassed to admit he is single. Or he's a player who doesn't want to spoil his chances by admitting he's taken. Sorry to say, but I don't get the vibe that he is all that interested. Although I confess that your text exchange left me slightly bewildered. The language seemed very staged to me, but maybe I am just much more casual. In any event, I did not perceive that he had any regret at not seeing you. 1
AmandaDiane Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Keep it together! Go with the flow girl! After 27 years he's still interested in meeting with you again, probably something will happen! Just be cool with it... Let us know what happens! Good luck! 1
GunslingerRoland Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 That sucks when you put yourself out there like that, and get shot down like that... but at least you won't have any regrets about not having tried. 2
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 (edited) Or he's a player who doesn't want to spoil his chances by admitting he's taken. Sorry to say, but I don't get the vibe that he is all that interested. Although I confess that your text exchange left me slightly bewildered. The language seemed very staged to me, but maybe I am just much more casual. In any event, I did not perceive that he had any regret at not seeing you. The language seemed staged, I think (and you used a very appropriate word!), because we both studied theatre. But, yes, it sounds like he has no regrets for not having seen me. I agree. I still don't know why he didn't answer the "single" question. Maybe he's still promiscuous ... who knows?!! Edited December 28, 2016 by ja123 1
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Keep it together! Go with the flow girl! After 27 years he's still interested in meeting with you again, probably something will happen! Just be cool with it... Let us know what happens! Good luck! Thanks, I'm definitely going to keep it together. Even if he wants to meet in August, it's going to feel like a let-down because HE was the one who initiated seeing ME on this trip and he backed out. But, for sure I'll update you in August, on this thread, if anything transpires.
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 That sucks when you put yourself out there like that, and get shot down like that... but at least you won't have any regrets about not having tried. No kidding, I've been shot down!!! You're right. And guess who I just saw on Facebook? HIM!!! Yep! This was supposed to be a busy day going to the hospital and the cemetery for him, but he's clearly got time to go on FB. Also, he used the excuse that he has "to pack". That's the equivalent of a woman saying she's got "to wash her hair", no? How long does it take to pack, after all? 5-10 minutes!
Haydn Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Sorry Ja. You lost nothing here. Hope all is well. 1
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Sorry Ja. You lost nothing here. Hope all is well. Thanks, Haydn. Things are well ... I'm getting back into the dating game. I just had a fantasy about this guy, and he obviously didn't feel the same. Honestly, I feel it's his loss, so I'm going to hang on to that. Hope all is well with you, too!
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 because HE was the one who initiated seeing ME on this trip and he backed out. He did. But you also had too much expectations from some guy you last met 27 years ago. Why would he make you a priority? Not saying he is a good person but you also need to learn few things here. You built up stuff in your mind which he never promised you in the first place and now feeling bad that he didn't meet up to YOUR fantasies. And he can go to Facebook whenever he wants, he can change his plans, he is NOT answerable to you in anyway!!! Learn from this incident thats all I can say. ~When a guy wants to see a gal - doesn't mean he wants to have sex. Even if they were talking about sex or have had sex in past. Goes the other way too. ~When a guy says he will call you and doesn't, do not text him with an invitation for sex. ~When a guy doesn't make you his priority and instead wants to go packing, you DO NOT wait for him till August!! ~When a guy doesn't tell you if he is single or not --- you run away from him as fast as you can. 4
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 THANK YOU, WINNY! Hard to hear, but I really needed it spelled out for me!!! I really appreciate it! and it's true, I had too many fantasies/expectations so I set myself up. It's just confusing that he initiated, but he obviously changed his mind. C'est la vie! Thanks again!
winny Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 THANK YOU, WINNY! Hard to hear, but I really needed it spelled out for me!!! I really appreciate it! and it's true, I had too many fantasies/expectations so I set myself up. It's just confusing that he initiated, but he obviously changed his mind. C'est la vie! Thanks again! I am sorry... I have done similar mistakes and I have suffered too... so I am telling you... If he was a good guy and you had done the exact things you did just now still his reactions would have been very different. He would have told you clearly what he wants, whether he is single or not, avoided discussing topics about sex. He would have been more transparent, treated you with respect. But since he is not good, so you have to become smart here and protect yourself. And you do that by doing the things I said above. 1
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 I am sorry... I have done similar mistakes and I have suffered too... so I am telling you... If he was a good guy and you had done the exact things you did just now still his reactions would have been very different. He would have told you clearly what he wants, whether he is single or not, avoided discussing topics about sex. He would have been more transparent, treated you with respect. But since he is not good, so you have to become smart here and protect yourself. And you do that by doing the things I said above. I will, Winny, thank you!!! I need to smarten up. Cheers!!! Already there's someone else in the periphery and I've decided now to sit back and wait until he makes his intentions clear.
salparadise Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Not shedding tears, just feeling like an idiot who gave the dude the upper hand. I shouldn't have contacted him when he didn't call yesterday. That's my bad. Nah, you're overthinking the whole thing. I think it's great that you initiated and said what you wanted. You didn't lose anything. Options are still on the table. I think, based on what you said in the beginning, that the guy has plenty of opportunities... of course he does. If you felt he's worth jumping into bed with (twice), others will feel the same way. The guy is not hard up. You could be charitable and make someone's day who would really appreciate it. 1
Author ja123 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Nah, you're overthinking the whole thing. I think it's great that you initiated and said what you wanted. You didn't lose anything. Options are still on the table. I think, based on what you said in the beginning, that the guy has plenty of opportunities... of course he does. If you felt he's worth jumping into bed with (twice), others will feel the same way. The guy is not hard up. You could be charitable and make someone's day who would really appreciate it. Yes, I said what I wanted. I may as well not have regrets and beat myself up about it! I'd have always been wondering otherwise. LOL RE: Being charitable to make someone else's day! You know ... that's worth a thought!!!
whichwayisup Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 I will, Winny, thank you!!! I need to smarten up. Cheers!!! Already there's someone else in the periphery and I've decided now to sit back and wait until he makes his intentions clear. I wouldn't wait. Just live your life and put him and August out of your head. His intentions are that he isn't interested in opening that sexual door with you, that's in the past. If he was into you, he would've taken a cab to your house! 1
TheTraveler Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 I'm a guy and if I really wanted to see you I would have made time for drinks and a romp in a hotel room But, I gotta pack and get ready for the plane ride the next day :rolls eyes: I wouldn't bother meeting in the summer 1
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