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What does this text mean...

elchupanibre

By elchupanibre
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elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
Posted

A few weeks ago I asked out a girl at work and she said no. It was a bit awkward for a while, but yesterday I got talking to her like we had before I asked her out.

 

I had used a technique I learned on YouTube (I think) which says that you should leave a conversation with a girl on a high (i.e. don't wait for the conversation to peter out before leaving) and that will make it better as her last memory of you would be a pleasant one. We spoke about work, mainly about what she wanted to do going forward.

 

(FYI - we are both intern journalists in the same company, but for different newspapers.)

 

Then last night she sent me a text saying "thanks for the chat. I really enjoyed it".

 

She never really texted me before out of the blue. If she did it would be a practical question or something. She is shy and reserved, too. Not to mention the added awkwardness of what I did a few weeks ago.

 

Today we spoke

 

So what does it mean? What could it mean? Or does it mean nothing and I'm just reading too much into it?

  • Like 1
IfonlyIknew Established Member

IfonlyIknew

Posted
Posted

Sounds like a possible open invitation to chat. I wouldn't text that unless I was open to a reply.

  • Like 4
phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted (edited)

keep doing what you are doing.

Use her to learn to talk to women.

But, don't flirt unless she does first and if you return the flirt make it super subtle or clever.

 

Also don't ask her out again.

 

She rejected you.

Let her come to you while you work on other women.

 

when it comes to work i let them make the first move.

makes things way easier and no awkwardness.

I also find that women at work tend to flirt harder just because they are bored or like the attention or think it's safe because you are on the job.

Edited by phineas
  • Like 7
Mystique01 Established Member

Mystique01

Posted
Posted

What does it mean?

 

I think it means basically what she said in her text. It could also mean that she's warming up to you.

 

 

However.....tread lightly with this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

keep doing what you are doing.

Use her to learn to talk to women.

But, don't flirt unless she does first and if you return the flirt make it super subtle or clever.

 

Also don't ask her out again.

She rejected you.

Let her come to you while you work on other women.

when it comes to work i let them make the first move.

makes things way easier and no awkwardness.

I also find that women at work tend to flirt harder just because they are bored or like the attention or think it's safe because you are on the job.

 

^^I actually agree with this method, and it actually (believe it or not)makes the guy seem MORE attractive to me when he uses this method.

 

Just keep being friendly and open, but don't be hanging around her like a sick puppy dog. And don't ask her out again unless you're getting CLEAR cut signs that she's warmed up to you.

 

Sometimes a guy just acting normal and casual after he has been rejected can actually make a woman think twice about him as a prospect. Believe it or not!

 

It shows the woman that he is confident in what he has to offer, and if she's not interested...then who cares? No skin off your back. You have plenty of OTHER options. ;)

 

This is very attractive to women.

 

It's the guys who start to turn cold/act distant/awkward/become mean or degrading etc. after they've been rejected that definitely continue to get a HARD NO from a woman. That's not attractive at ALL. :(

 

It's best to just act normally as before honestly.

  • Like 2
angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

Posted
Posted

She's glad things haven't become awkward after the rejection, and you are still friends.

  • Like 6
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted

I think it could mean she is possibly warming up to you too like Mystique said. Here's the thing--you did the right thing: after what seemed to be a rejection, you handled moving forward with confidence, like her rejecting you didn't faze you. Guess what? That makes you attractive. This kind of strategy is your best chance and if anything you will learn from it. I'm guessing maybe she is slightly interested or more but hesitant either because she has something with someone else that you are not aware of or even if she has said she doesn't she is still not over him and/or because you work together. Also if you are interns she is probably most concerned with making a good impression where you guys are so is being extra cautious. Add in that perhaps you are both relatively young (since you said interns)--some younger girls say no first and then re-consider later.

 

I think you should answer and keep the banter going in a very low pressure way. let her come to you more so. Keep leaving her with talks that end on a high & wanting more talks and such :) good luck

  • Like 4
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

It could mean she thinks you are OK with just being friends.

dumbass2 Established Member

dumbass2

Posted
Posted

Keep things moving along as you are doing, but at some point soon you need some flirting and maybe a date and chance for romance or else if this goes on too long you will be friend zoned and I don't think you want that with her. Keep her wanting for more.

  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks. But, if I can ask, what other things can I try to practice? :X

  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

What other things can I try to 'learn'?

 

keep doing what you are doing.

Use her to learn to talk to women.

But, don't flirt unless she does first and if you return the flirt make it super subtle or clever.

 

Also don't ask her out again.

 

She rejected you.

Let her come to you while you work on other women.

 

when it comes to work i let them make the first move.

makes things way easier and no awkwardness.

I also find that women at work tend to flirt harder just because they are bored or like the attention or think it's safe because you are on the job.

  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

She did actually say that she was getting over breaking up with someone in August. So that was the reason.

 

I think it could mean she is possibly warming up to you too like Mystique said. Here's the thing--you did the right thing: after what seemed to be a rejection, you handled moving forward with confidence, like her rejecting you didn't faze you. Guess what? That makes you attractive. This kind of strategy is your best chance and if anything you will learn from it. I'm guessing maybe she is slightly interested or more but hesitant either because she has something with someone else that you are not aware of or even if she has said she doesn't she is still not over him and/or because you work together. Also if you are interns she is probably most concerned with making a good impression where you guys are so is being extra cautious. Add in that perhaps you are both relatively young (since you said interns)--some younger girls say no first and then re-consider later.

 

I think you should answer and keep the banter going in a very low pressure way. let her come to you more so. Keep leaving her with talks that end on a high & wanting more talks and such :) good luck

angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

Posted
Posted
She did actually say that she was getting over breaking up with someone in August. So that was the reason.

 

At the risk of raining on your parade, when she meets a guy she likes, she'll be over her breakup from four months ago.

  • Like 1
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

It sounds like a friendly message to me. I would not read too much into it. You did a brave thing and asked her out. Not everyone is going to be right for you, but I hope you don't let that take away from what you did. Now you know. Keep moving and improving. :)

  • Like 1
  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I appreciate the honesty :(

 

At the risk of raining on your parade, when she meets a guy she likes, she'll be over her breakup from four months ago.
angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

Posted
Posted

Not everyone that we like it's going to like us. That's just life, even though it stings in the moment. Pat yourself on the back for trying. Brush it off. Then move on to the next person who interests you. I'm sure you'll find someone who is a great fit for you, who reciprocates your interest. It just takes time and continued effort.

  • Like 2
  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

UPDATE: She told me she was drunk when she did it...

  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

UPDATE: She told me she was drunk when she did it...

 

A few weeks ago I asked out a girl at work and she said no. It was a bit awkward for a while, but yesterday I got talking to her like we had before I asked her out.

 

I had used a technique I learned on YouTube (I think) which says that you should leave a conversation with a girl on a high (i.e. don't wait for the conversation to peter out before leaving) and that will make it better as her last memory of you would be a pleasant one. We spoke about work, mainly about what she wanted to do going forward.

 

(FYI - we are both intern journalists in the same company, but for different newspapers.)

 

Then last night she sent me a text saying "thanks for the chat. I really enjoyed it".

 

She never really texted me before out of the blue. If she did it would be a practical question or something. She is shy and reserved, too. Not to mention the added awkwardness of what I did a few weeks ago.

 

Today we spoke

 

So what does it mean? What could it mean? Or does it mean nothing and I'm just reading too much into it?

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted

just find another girl.

She isn't into you.

  • Like 1
Mystique01 Established Member

Mystique01

Posted
Posted
UPDATE: She told me she was drunk when she did it...

 

Oh wowwww....

 

Yea I say find another girl who's actually into you.... She's a time-waster.

  • Like 1
  • Author
elchupanibre Member

elchupanibre

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Ok one more question pleeeease :eek:

 

So what do I do now? Do I try and build some distance between me and her? Bearing in mind we were friends before - do I try and continue as normal or just leave it?

 

 

UPDATE: She told me she was drunk when she did it...
phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
Ok one more question pleeeease :eek:

 

So what do I do now? Do I try and build some distance between me and her? Bearing in mind we were friends before - do I try and continue as normal or just leave it?

 

You were never friends.

You were just a guy who gave her free attention when she was bored at work.

 

Friends is a two-way street.

 

next time don't go after women you have to see daily on the job.

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