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Would a man always make an effort to contact you if he was interested in you?

mertoew

By mertoew
in General Relationship Discussion

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mertoew New Member

mertoew

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Is it true that if a man likes a woman enough, he would definitely try to contact her (initiate and respond to texts, emails, etc.) and stay in touch? Even if they have not gone on a date together or are in a working relationship? Is the maintaining of communication the strongest indication of interest?

 

Are there any reasons why a man who likes a woman would not make an obvious effort at communicating whenever they are not hanging out in person?

eightytwenty Established Member

eightytwenty

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Yes a man will make a effort if he likes her enough. There are situations that make him back off of the relationship if he thinks its not going to work.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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A man will make every effort to continue communication with a woman he wants. They just don't stop until you make it clear you're not interested.

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mertoew New Member

mertoew

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Is there any possibility that a guy thinks he doesn't know you well enough yet and is taking more time before he shows interest? What should I do?

Edited by mertoew
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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Is there any possibility that a guy thinks he doesn't know you well enough yet and is taking more time before he shows interest?

 

Possibly, but I don't wanna raise your hopes up.

 

In my current situation, I approached dude without researching his availability. Once I asked him if he had someone, thankfully he confirmed he did, but said he liked talking to me.

 

It irks me that he has my digits but won't call/text/etc...but if he has someone, I understand why he wouldn't put my digits in his cel.

 

So, we chat, but he won't do much outside casual chatting. No calls/text/social media...he won't even go solo with me for lunch/coffee. I have to sorta respect that he's not wanting to sneak around his gf - even with doing something innocent like lunch or coffee, but I hate not knowing for sure if he just likes me as a friend (cuz I'm cool like that :lmao:), if he's trying to groom me to be a side piece, or if he's trying to get to know me before he decides to deep six her.

 

If you don't have a complex situation like mine, when a guy's interested, he makes the effort - even if he's painfully shy. One dude who dumped me for a downgrade had no issue with approaching her...with me it was a lot of no action and anxiety if I came to him.

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mertoew New Member

mertoew

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Possibly, but I don't wanna raise your hopes up.

 

In my current situation, I approached dude without researching his availability. Once I asked him if he had someone, thankfully he confirmed he did, but said he liked talking to me.

 

It irks me that he has my digits but won't call/text/etc...but if he has someone, I understand why he wouldn't put my digits in his cel.

 

So, we chat, but he won't do much outside casual chatting. No calls/text/social media...he won't even go solo with me for lunch/coffee. I have to sorta respect that he's not wanting to sneak around his gf - even with doing something innocent like lunch or coffee, but I hate not knowing for sure if he just likes me as a friend (cuz I'm cool like that :lmao:), if he's trying to groom me to be a side piece, or if he's trying to get to know me before he decides to deep six her.

 

If you don't have a complex situation like mine, when a guy's interested, he makes the effort - even if he's painfully shy. One dude who dumped me for a downgrade had no issue with approaching her...with me it was a lot of no action and anxiety if I came to him.

 

 

Goodness, I am so sorry to hear that. That does sound like a very confusing and heartbreaking situation to be in, and I really hope it clears up for you soon. :( I once had a guy basically propose to me, but he had a girlfriend of 7+ years that he wasn't even willing to break up with. And he was a closeted homosexual. It ended terribly.

 

I haven't asked my current crush if he is single. From the beginning, I just kind of felt like he was (late 20s, living alone, and is available every day after work and on weekends, spends time with his family). He also told me one time that it would be beneficial for me to have a supportive partner, so I'm assuming he thinks I'm single but unsure about relationships (I'm in my early 20s btw). I'm trying to not overthink everything, but it's so hard!

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alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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A man will make every effort to continue communication with a woman he wants.

 

unless he's shy

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Shy men have never gone for me or if they did I didn't notice.

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mertoew New Member

mertoew

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unless he's shy

 

 

How can you recognize the shy/secretly shy/inexperienced type(s)?

2011 Established Member

2011

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Is it true that if a man likes a woman enough, he would definitely try to contact her (initiate and respond to texts, emails, etc.) and stay in touch? Even if they have not gone on a date together or are in a working relationship? Is the maintaining of communication the strongest indication of interest?

 

Are there any reasons why a man who likes a woman would not make an obvious effort at communicating whenever they are not hanging out in person?

 

Usually I find when I try to show interest it just backfires and they think you are desperate, no I'm actually interested. So then you stop chasing and loan behold they start chasing you. Weird the way it works!

TooRational Established Member

TooRational

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When there's lack of communication, there's also the possibility that the guy doesn't wanna seem too pushy or clingy.

 

For example, I'm really interested in a woman I went skiing once with, but she went away for a month for business, the very next day. I waited a full week before texting her (I knew she was super busy and didn't want to intrude). After that, I let her initiate which she did 4 days later. Then again a week after. Then I did initiate a text to ask her out for diner after our next planned skiing outing. She actually suggested that we have diner at my place instead because she's tired of restaurants! :eek::D

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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When there's lack of communication, there's also the possibility that the guy doesn't wanna seem too pushy or clingy.

 

For example, I'm really interested in a woman I went skiing once with, but she went away for a month for business, the very next day. I waited a full week before texting her (I knew she was super busy and didn't want to intrude). After that, I let her initiate which she did 4 days later. Then again a week after. Then I did initiate a text to ask her out for diner after our next planned skiing outing. She actually suggested that we have diner at my place instead because she's tired of restaurants! :eek::D

 

How and where one can find an attractive opposite sex to go skiing/snowboarding with?

 

I almost always going alone...I find that ain't funny anymore.

 

alright, I once went with a french guy that I met on meetup. He bought his own dinner to the night skiing resort. I felt he was cheap and not manly, so no interest.

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TooRational Established Member

TooRational

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Springsummer, in my case it's actually cross country skiing and I joined a club. I met her at the first training I attended.

 

There are also dating websites that specialize in sport meet-ups. The one I know is in French though. I'm sure there are some in English too.

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Goodness, I am so sorry to hear that. That does sound like a very confusing and heartbreaking situation to be in, and I really hope it clears up for you soon. :( I once had a guy basically propose to me, but he had a girlfriend of 7+ years that he wasn't even willing to break up with. And he was a closeted homosexual. It ended terribly.

 

I haven't asked my current crush if he is single. From the beginning, I just kind of felt like he was (late 20s, living alone, and is available every day after work and on weekends, spends time with his family). He also told me one time that it would be beneficial for me to have a supportive partner, so I'm assuming he thinks I'm single but unsure about relationships (I'm in my early 20s btw). I'm trying to not overthink everything, but it's so hard!

 

Why won't you ask if he's seeing anyone? I mean, even in non-romantic situations, it's a topic that comes up on the regular with people.

 

You had a dude who was in the closet AND didn't wanna give up a 7yr gf? Oook, how did you fall into that trap? Now THAT'S complicated.

 

With current dude, IMO, it's not that complicated - unless he doesn't know what he wants. I mean, for all I know he could've been happy with gf until I appeared in his world and now he's reassessing things with her? I say it's not complicated with him cuz, like I said, it's either one of the three options I mentioned before 1) Him trying to get to know me w/o risking his RL with her (just incase he decides not to deep six her; 2) Trying to see me as a side piece; and, 3) He just wants to be friends.

 

Right now it's getting harder cuz of his 180 the other day, the haters are trying to play us against each other cuz they're after me - not him. So, I hope he hangs tough and not let them play him against me. So, for now, not sure if/when I'll speak to him again :( I miss him so much already. Long weekends without us chatting makes me miss him at times. So, that's the heartbreaking side of this.

 

I just am wondering how much time to give this, cuz, I don't wanna get my heart tied up in him only for him to decide he wants to stick with his gf. :( But eh, for now I have no choice but to give it some time cuz of the haters. Once things settle down, I'm wondering if we'll chat again. I still don't know for sure if I can trust him again. His recent smile/greeting was warm (I literally rose in body temperature), but need to speak to him badly. :(

Miss Peach Established Member

Miss Peach

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In my experience if a man wants a woman, he will go after her. There are shy men, etc. but I know I don't want to play that role. If some eye contact, flirting, touching, etc. isn't enough for him to take the hint then I'm not going to chase him. Especially if she makes a comment about being single. IME if he doesn't do anything he's not there for whatever reason.

 

Having said that, I find most men will initiate contact and keep it up if they feel it's welcome and reciprocated. I've seen a handful of men who didn't but most weren't that interested and/or playing games.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
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A reason might be if they're not confident enough to be ready to date or had some other reason they felt it wasn't time to date someone. Also, you could be his third choice and he's running after his top two first.

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