Brady_to_Moss Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 So recently at a company party..I hooked up with a coworker. Just kissed and she wanted to come back to my apt but i said no because i didn't want it to be so so awkward at work. Come to find out..she has a BF of 2 years that I had 0 idea about. She is very quiet at work and we really don't talk there either. But someone who is in a LTR for 2+ years....and when she gets a bit tipsy..looks for other guys...it's a huge red flag for me because..if they are willing to do it once..it will happen again no? I was burned bad a year ago and very nervous about another relationship..or anything really. I found her very cute the day she started but just never did anything about it or found out more because of a previous situation but for some reason still can't stop thinking about it? Even though i NEED to More of a rant/talk it out
butterfly84 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 so you didn't do anything wrong because you did not know at that time. it seems like she may have having some internal things going on where she may not be sure about her relationship if she has went ahead and cheated. but since you are thinking about her still do you just need to know what's going on/have closure on what's going on with her - is she someone you can talk to at work about this to get a better idea without it being weird? i would def. not pursue anything now that you know about her relationship but i think you know this already, just making sure i state that there's always jim/pam/roy from 'the office' scenarios too if she is dating a not-so-great guy (if you watched that show)
TheTraveler Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Brady and Moss would've hit it and quit it 1
CommittedToThis Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Hey BtM, I think you absolutely made a fantastic decision not to take your co-worker home; imagine if you had? You'd be the 3rd prong in a triangle with her boyfriend now. Imagine him storming into your office with an agenda... If this woman becomes single and you want to date her then, yeah, you are spot on about her wanting to bang your muffins being a massive RED FLAG. She's a cheater, assuming she really does have this boyfriend. Even if their relationship sucks, if she's still with him, she's a cheater. You are indeed a wise man for noting the red flag and proceeding accordingly. As for being burned in the past, dude, don't let that stop you. Please. Take what you learned at the hands of your ex and put those lessons to the test, as you've done with your sexy co-worker. I got utterly played by a cruel and unusual ex over 10 years; I could wanna kill myself about it, or I can look at it as being exactly what I needed at this stage of my life to learn what NOT to do next time. I feel more ballsy and comfortable, able to trust, now than I ever have, because I trust myself to not only acknowledge but act on any red flags I see. You'll get there, too. You learned a lot, and for a good reason my man. Don't let her hold you back from getting exactly what you deserve in a woman. 1
Redhead14 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 So recently at a company party..I hooked up with a coworker. Just kissed and she wanted to come back to my apt but i said no because i didn't want it to be so so awkward at work. Come to find out..she has a BF of 2 years that I had 0 idea about. She is very quiet at work and we really don't talk there either. But someone who is in a LTR for 2+ years....and when she gets a bit tipsy..looks for other guys...it's a huge red flag for me because..if they are willing to do it once..it will happen again no? I was burned bad a year ago and very nervous about another relationship..or anything really. I found her very cute the day she started but just never did anything about it or found out more because of a previous situation but for some reason still can't stop thinking about it? Even though i NEED to More of a rant/talk it out Insight and foresight are your friends . . . Good for you. Keep being a grown up and not acting on impulses Actually, you handled it the way you handled it not so much because of "baggage" and the result really is about thinking before you leap in your case. This choice was actually balanced by logic, insight and foresight. Not so much about the burn you experienced in your other relationship. Yes, that's apparently in the back of your mind, but not the prevailing logic. You done good.
smackie9 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 life is life. We all run into people who make poor choices...but there are people like you who know how to make the right choices, and in the end it has paid off.
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