Kelley Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 So first date, do you honestly believe you should feel a spark or does that build with time? I hear so much about 'no spark' but especially with OLD is that really realistic? Many people say they know after one date, if there is a spark or not, what are your thoughts?
deepaction Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 So first date, do you honestly believe you should feel a spark or does that build with time? I hear so much about 'no spark' but especially with OLD is that really realistic? Many people say they know after one date, if there is a spark or not, what are your thoughts? I kinda agree. There has to be *some* spark. Like you should feel excited about the person and want to know more (and feel excited about the possibilities). 2
strawberryshortstack Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 So first date, do you honestly believe you should feel a spark or does that build with time? I hear so much about 'no spark' but especially with OLD is that really realistic? Many people say they know after one date, if there is a spark or not, what are your thoughts? I didn't feel a spark on my first date with my current bf. He was nice, I found him attractive, but our conversation was terrible, and there was no kiss. We both decided to give each other a second date, and that's when we felt the "spark". I've had other dates where I did feel a spark on the first date - some of those dates led to second dates and subsequently a relationship, others went nowhere. Whether or not you feel a spark on the first date is no indicator of relationship potential. 1
GunslingerRoland Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 There has to be an attraction, but I don't necessarily think there has to be a spark, IMO spark is a bit overrated. 1
olivetree Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 The following is my two cents on finding something special and deep... not just any relationship. The older I get, the more I don't need my socks knocked off right from the start. While I think that men usually need a strong physical attraction right off the bat, I believe that for women there is more room for physical attraction to grow if they know what they want. But neither party can be physically repelled by the other. There must be some attraction to work with. What I do think should be there from the start is a fairly instant connection... you should feel comfortable with each other and things should just flow. Since a great friendship is the base of every relationship, you should think that this is the type of person you could be best friends with... and then... hopefully that friendship lights on fire 3
Larryville Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 (edited) So first date, do you honestly believe you should feel a spark or does that build with time? I hear so much about 'no spark' but especially with OLD is that really realistic? Many people say they know after one date, if there is a spark or not, what are your thoughts? I believe it’s possible to have an amazing time with someone and walk away saying, “You’re awesome, just not what I’m looking for.” While I can admit that for any true “relationship” to begin, there is usually a series of great dates. I believe that sometimes everything can go right on a date and in the end it is still just wrong. After the effervescent glow of the date passes, you realize there is no real “spark.” I don’t know about anyone else but I know even before I meet them, initial messages (assuming OLD), initial phone conversation, and the questions they ask inquiring about me. I can tell thing like intellect, depth if they are shallow and most of this stuff can be deciphered in their profile. Again this is OLD specific. If all of this goes well then as someone said I'm actually excited to meet them Having said that sometimes I go out on a first date (not being impressed by phone convo email) with them anyway as a just in case, and NO. I don’t do this anymore because it is a waste of time and money. Must add: There has to be an attraction, but I don't necessarily think there has to be a spark, IMO spark is a bit overrated. Edited December 20, 2016 by Larryville quote 1
deepaction Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 Here is another take on spark: When you get along with someone (like an okay nice guy) and develop feelings later ... 7-10 years down the line it will be easy to get bored or experience that 'I am no longer in love with you' moment we often read around here. With spark however, you will always have that magical love moment with your partner, where you treat this person as that ('i just knew' or) 'special someone' who is not easy to be replaced later on (even if the new person is new, younger, more beautiful/handsome). So, spark is not a need for regular dating but if you are trying to go for the long-haul, I think there gotta be spark at the first meeting or so. If it is special, it will meet your romance novel requirements and keep you happy in the long-term I think.
Miss Peach Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 With men I would say there needs to be a spark of attraction. I find that men see attraction first and then investigate. I find women tend to be the other way. They can grow a spark but it usually happens within a few interactions. If it isn't there within a few dates, then it's not worth it. Later you may reconnect and feel a spark but until then don't waste your time. 1
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