Did I do the right thing by ignoring my ex in the break room at work?

[xxgreen20]

My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for about 3 months now, and she initiated the breakup, saying she lost her feelings for me, and then began dating another guy a week later, and they have been together ever since. We haven't spoken since and I blocked her on all social media and deleted her number. I recently returned to the grocery store we both work at after being on leave for a while, but in a different department than her, and I worked 2 shifts without seeing her once. Then today, my 3rd shift since going back, I go up to the break room, and sure enough, she's sitting there at the table. My heart jumped into my throat, and I turned around and began to walk back downstairs, but my manager saw me leaving and said, "Hey, what's the matter?" I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just said, "Nothing," and walked back into the room. There are 2 round tables in the room, so I sat down at the other table and immediately pulled out my phone without acknowledging her at all. She didn't say a word to me either or make eye contact. So the 2 of us sat there in complete silence for 15 minutes, and I managed to down about half my salad and a little of my drink before heading back downstairs. When we were together, she had a commitment on Tuesday afternoons, so I did not expect her to be there, and I am embarrassed that my manager saw me leaving, and said, "What's the matter?" right in front of her. There are no other places to take my breaks besides outside, and it's cold out, so I'm stuck going there if I eat on my breaks. If I don't eat, I will be sitting in my car for breaks. So just needed to rant, but I don't know if I can do that again. It was so uncomfortable, even three months later, that I could barely eat, and I'm stuck feeling guilty for not greeting her and hoping I did the right thing.

[Slimtripper]

My ex girlfriend and I have been broken up for about 3 months now, and she initiated the breakup, saying she lost her feelings for me, and then began dating another guy a week later, and they have been together ever since. We haven't spoken since and I blocked her on all social media and deleted her number. I recently returned to the grocery store we both work at after being on leave for a while, but in a different department than her, and I worked 2 shifts without seeing her once. Then today, my 3rd shift since going back, I go up to the break room, and sure enough, she's sitting there at the table. My heart jumped into my throat, and I turned around and began to walk back downstairs, but my manager saw me leaving and said, "Hey, what's the matter?" I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just said, "Nothing," and walked back into the room. There are 2 round tables in the room, so I sat down at the other table and immediately pulled out my phone without acknowledging her at all. She didn't say a word to me either or make eye contact. So the 2 of us sat there in complete silence for 15 minutes, and I managed to down about half my salad and a little of my drink before heading back downstairs. When we were together, she had a commitment on Tuesday afternoons, so I did not expect her to be there, and I am embarrassed that my manager saw me leaving, and said, "What's the matter?" right in front of her. There are no other places to take my breaks besides outside, and it's cold out, so I'm stuck going there if I eat on my breaks. If I don't eat, I will be sitting in my car for breaks. So just needed to rant, but I don't know if I can do that again. It was so uncomfortable, even three months later, that I could barely eat, and I'm stuck feeling guilty for not greeting her and hoping I did the right thing.

 

1. It doesn't matter what she thinks. Who cares if u didn't greet her. She deserves nothing for dumping you screwing another guy. Why are you worried what she thinks? Shes gone home to be with him tonight, she does not care.

 

2. Get another job. There are plenty of other jobs that are likely better paid than working at a grocery store. Move on, do something different.

I left the country after my break up before last n it was the best thing i ever did.

break your routine. Stop being a pussy

[Been]

She has too much control over you. You don't have to greet her.

But she shouldn't have the ability to make you feel like that.

And no don't get another job-she shouldn't control where you work.

The other poster that called you names is the chump-NO WOMAN would or should ever cause you to leave ANYWHERE. You gotta handle up and not run.

[Been]

I work with my ex too and she acts like a jerk around me and I would react to it.

By doing that I was showing her she had control. Now I just ignore her and yes it's hard but it can be done. I'm not about to change my life because someone treated me badly.

I look at it like yes she hurt me badly but I'm still standing. And I'll shake it off and keep moving forward. That's the only way to succeed. You can't keep running from things cause you'll never stop running.

Go to the break room and take your break. Believe she knows what she did. Don't ever let someone dictate to you where you go-look at like she's taken enough from you.

[Slimtripper]

She has too much control over you. You don't have to greet her.

But she shouldn't have the ability to make you feel like that.

And no don't get another job-she shouldn't control where you work.

The other poster that called you names is the chump-NO WOMAN would or should ever cause you to leave ANYWHERE. You gotta handle up and not run.

 

You're presuming that it matters what his gf thinks of him. He's a chump for running? Who is he a chump to? Her? You? Who cares.

If i break up with someone i dont want to see them every day. So if i was working at a grocery store then id move to somewhere where there are new people, women, and i dont need to deal with the same feelings coming up every day. I dont care what she thinks about that.

 

I always travel after a break up. It gives you perspective, makes you appreciate other girls and create new memories faster than u do stuck in the same place.

 

And career wise, nothing gives u a kick than a break. You're working in a grocery store. Go do it in another country, go do something different.

 

That's how you dont care what you're ex thinks. Not staying put in case they think you're a pussy

[Been]

I call BS. If he enjoys working where he is then STAY. He's gonna let some Ex run him off? Because that's exactly what he would be doing. He's already said he likes it there so why you telling him to leave?

If he was in college taking a class he needed and she was too what would he do?

Drop the class because he's BOTHERED by her being there?

Nobody likes to feel uncomfortable. But you have to learn to deal with things in life. That's how you grow as a person.

[Slimtripper]

I call BS. If he enjoys working where he is then STAY. He's gonna let some Ex run him off? Because that's exactly what he would be doing. He's already said he likes it there so why you telling him to leave?

If he was in college taking a class he needed and she was too what would he do?

Drop the class because he's BOTHERED by her being there?

Nobody likes to feel uncomfortable. But you have to learn to deal with things in life. That's how you grow as a person.

 

I dont know which parts of no contact you dont understand but its not going to work seeing them in the same place every day. Like it or not, every time u have contact with that person you go back to day 1.

If a job in a grocery store really means so much to you that u want to run into someone that left you for someone else, then yea stay and do the grocery thing.

 

Or, now is a good time to evaluate your job, what you are doing and try something new. He's already on here writing paragraphs about what he should do after one meeting, after THREE months, when they didn't even talk.

You think its a good idea going through that every day? Its going to take forever to get over things. Hes gone back to any 1 already, like i said above.

 

Its not running away, its clearing out the crap from your life and starting fresh.

Every time i had a break up i did something new and i became way more successful that i would have done staying with that girl wherever i was.

[Been]

I agree with doing something new.

And yes it would be easier if he didn't have to see her but the fact is he does and he's going to have to learn to deal with it.

And we assume he could just up and quit. That he has that ability to move.

If you like something NOBODY should influence your decision to just quit doing it.

This is a learning experience for him. Yes it sucks but he's much stronger then he thinks-he just doesn't know it.And once he gets through this he will be ALOT stronger then he was before.

I have to work with my ex AND the man she cheated on me with. It was so hard at first. And she would do things to provoke reactions from me.

Until I realized I was making myself look bad by allowing this person to control my emotions. I thought to myself she had already taken enough from me.

Now I just look at her like I don't know her. I speak to her when I have to and that's it. No more. No less.

And the funny thing?She kept trying to provoke me and I kept my composure till one day the manager pulled her in the office and told her to knock it off or she wouldn't work in my department anymore.

[whatdeww18]

Well, I would say do what you feel is right.

I do think it is odd that after 3 months after the break up, you aren't able to say hello. Personally, I probably wouldn't be able to bring up a whole conversation with my ex 3 months after a break up, but just a simple,

"Hi, how are you? .... I'm well, thanks."

And then eat your food and browse Facebook or the internet or something.

 

What this tells me is that you aren't too far in your healing process for yourself. Have you been in no contact with your ex, in terms of texting and communicating besides in person?

If not, you should. Learn to let go of her, work on yourself, and remember how awesome of a person you are.

Just remember to heal, and move on.

 

Whether you want a reconciliation or not, healing and moving on yourself is essential. Have to remember that for yourself. Do no contact, work on who you are, your goals, what interests you, and get your life back. Then, analyze what went wrong in the relationship and fix it for yourself so you become a better prospect for any future girlfriend, whether that's your ex or someone brand new.

 

Best wishes,

-WhatDEWWWWW

[xxgreen20]

Well, I would say do what you feel is right.

I do think it is odd that after 3 months after the break up, you aren't able to say hello. Personally, I probably wouldn't be able to bring up a whole conversation with my ex 3 months after a break up, but just a simple,

"Hi, how are you? .... I'm well, thanks."

And then eat your food and browse Facebook or the internet or something.

 

What this tells me is that you aren't too far in your healing process for yourself. Have you been in no contact with your ex, in terms of texting and communicating besides in person?

If not, you should. Learn to let go of her, work on yourself, and remember how awesome of a person you are.

Just remember to heal, and move on.

 

Whether you want a reconciliation or not, healing and moving on yourself is essential. Have to remember that for yourself. Do no contact, work on who you are, your goals, what interests you, and get your life back. Then, analyze what went wrong in the relationship and fix it for yourself so you become a better prospect for any future girlfriend, whether that's your ex or someone brand new.

 

Best wishes,

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I have been complete no contact. No texting, no calling, blocking her on all social media. We have not talked once, including yesterday, since the breakup.

[xxgreen20]

I dont know which parts of no contact you dont understand but its not going to work seeing them in the same place every day. Like it or not, every time u have contact with that person you go back to day 1.

If a job in a grocery store really means so much to you that u want to run into someone that left you for someone else, then yea stay and do the grocery thing.

 

Or, now is a good time to evaluate your job, what you are doing and try something new. He's already on here writing paragraphs about what he should do after one meeting, after THREE months, when they didn't even talk.

You think its a good idea going through that every day? Its going to take forever to get over things. Hes gone back to any 1 already, like i said above.

 

Its not running away, its clearing out the crap from your life and starting fresh.

Every time i had a break up i did something new and i became way more successful that i would have done staying with that girl wherever i was.

 

I work in a completely different department in the store, so I almost never see her on the job. I had absolutely no idea she was even in the store yesterday until I went on my break. And I have made some very good friends in that store and know all the customers and enjoy being around all of my other coworkers. So why the heck should I leave because of one person? There are 3 other former couples that work there, and none of them have left. Those couples avoid each other, just like we do, and it is still no contact.

Edited December 22, 2016 by xxgreen20

[xxgreen20]

1. It doesn't matter what she thinks. Who cares if u didn't greet her. She deserves nothing for dumping you screwing another guy. Why are you worried what she thinks? Shes gone home to be with him tonight, she does not care.

 

2. Get another job. There are plenty of other jobs that are likely better paid than working at a grocery store. Move on, do something different.

I left the country after my break up before last n it was the best thing i ever did.

break your routine. Stop being a pussy

 

I am not going to get another job since I like it there (except for the fact that I have to work with her, of course), but you have given me perspective as to the fact that she truly doesn't care how I reacted to bumping into her. The fact that the manager caught me running out combined with her being there just made me embarrassed about the whole thing initially.

[xxgreen20]

I agree with doing something new.

And yes it would be easier if he didn't have to see her but the fact is he does and he's going to have to learn to deal with it.

And we assume he could just up and quit. That he has that ability to move.

If you like something NOBODY should influence your decision to just quit doing it.

This is a learning experience for him. Yes it sucks but he's much stronger then he thinks-he just doesn't know it.And once he gets through this he will be ALOT stronger then he was before.

I have to work with my ex AND the man she cheated on me with. It was so hard at first. And she would do things to provoke reactions from me.

Until I realized I was making myself look bad by allowing this person to control my emotions. I thought to myself she had already taken enough from me.

Now I just look at her like I don't know her. I speak to her when I have to and that's it. No more. No less.

And the funny thing?She kept trying to provoke me and I kept my composure till one day the manager pulled her in the office and told her to knock it off or she wouldn't work in my department anymore.

 

I'm certainly not letting her control me. But ever since that first encounter, she pops up everywhere I go in the store. I ran into her twice today alone. I saw her talking to a customer when I was walking in and had to pass within an inch of her and then once again in the break room, but only for about 5 minutes this time. No, we didn't talk or acknowledge each other either time. When I first found out about the new boyfriend right after the breakup, I was told by a mutual friend that her friend introduced them, but I believe that's BS. I don't believe our mutual friend would lie to me, because he is only friends with me now and not her anymore, but I think that she lied to him. I never see anybody else from her department at work, and ever since the other day, I can't seem to get rid of her. So frustrating.

Edited December 24, 2016 by xxgreen20