FFR Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 I have a problem that I am looking for advice with. About 2 months ago I broke up with a guy I had been dating for 3 years. A ferw weeks after that I began dating another guy and we are still dating happily. The problem is that I can't seem to get my ex out of my head. Normally I'd disregard what I'm thinking but when I think about it it makes me sad and makes me wonder whether I am with the wrong person. When I am with my current boyfriend I am so happy and I love being with him and spending time with him but when we are apart all I can think about is whether I made the wrong decision in breaking up with my ex. I'm not sure what to do. Should I just keep moving on and eventually I'll get over my ex, or do my thoughts about my ex mean nothing? Or should I try again with my ex? I dont know what to do and its really bothering me. I'm completely lost...
markraine Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 you are obviously not ready to move on, you and your ex have unresolved issues, obviously you need some sort of closure, so talking to him but might help, but you are definitely not over your ex, definitely not ready for another relationship, and if you aren't sure about this guy now and keep going on like nothing is wrong, all you will end up doing is breaking his heart 10 times worse in the future. I've seen it happen so many times, you got into a relationship you weren't ready for, you needed more time to be by yourself, to get over your ex, but now, not only have you hurt him, you will also end up hurting this guy, either now, or far more horribly in the future. I'd recommend you take some time to yourself and sort your thoughts out, before you really devastate this guy if things get more serious.....tough situation, but you need to make a decision NOW, and not later. Good Luck, hope everything works out.
Rosalind Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 Noooo!...don't even THINK about trying again with your ex. The problem might be : you didn't allow yourself enough time to grieve the end of your 3 year relationship, and jumped into a new before you were healed.
markraine Posted July 16, 2005 Posted July 16, 2005 What happened between you and your ex? What was the reason for the breakup? I'm of the mind that a breakup isn't automatically always the end, as it seems many of the people here are. If there is love and it was just turbulence along the way, if both people have had sufficient time to recognize there is mistakes, then a 2nd chance is always possible, many people end up married happily after a breakup and reconciliation, it all varies on the situation, but you have to consider whether the feelings about your ex are just missing the familiarity and comfort, or was it that you still feel you two have potential, have a chance, that "realistically" now, there would be a reason for you two to get back together. These are things you must consider. Getting back with your ex is not a bad thing, BUT there have to be changes with both people, otherwise you will wind up with the same old results, just more painful this time around.
Author FFR Posted July 16, 2005 Author Posted July 16, 2005 Originally posted by markraine What happened between you and your ex? What was the reason for the breakup? I'm of the mind that a breakup isn't automatically always the end, as it seems many of the people here are. If there is love and it was just turbulence along the way, if both people have had sufficient time to recognize there is mistakes, then a 2nd chance is always possible, many people end up married happily after a breakup and reconciliation, it all varies on the situation, but you have to consider whether the feelings about your ex are just missing the familiarity and comfort, or was it that you still feel you two have potential, have a chance, that "realistically" now, there would be a reason for you two to get back together. These are things you must consider. Getting back with your ex is not a bad thing, BUT there have to be changes with both people, otherwise you will wind up with the same old results, just more painful this time around. My ex and I have dated on and off before the three years just recently. I boke up with him becuase I didn't feel like I was in love with him anymore. I didn't feel like I had any feelings for him. Recently we had been argueing and fighting a lot and he was constantly frustrating me. Both of us have very different views on life and very very diferent goals and aspirations and that caused a lot of problems. Eventually I just got fed up with it and decided I was going to break it off. When I did I found out he was planning on breaking it off with me in the near future so it was a mutual break up prety much. Maybe I just miss the routine of seeing him all the time....I'm not sure. But thanks for the advice...
Recommended Posts