Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 I am personally in the camp of exes should never really be and stay friends. If you have no loose ties to tie up- for example, negotiating issues concerning children, or a house you've brought together- then staying in each other's lives and labouring over who your ex brings into their life is none of your concern. If she does go into a relationship with a 50-year-old and moves and in tomorrow, a bit sad for her child, but still none of your concern. You have your own life to worry about. Her life is out of your hands. Even if she has bi-polar, she is still responsible for her decisions, and not even you can really save her from making decisions that would seem otherwise destructive. I would just from now on, stay out of her life and move on with yours.
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 (edited) Your dating value doesn't depreciate...sorry but no, it doesnt. I can tell you a hundred reasons why a man in his 50s might want a 39 yr old... Im just going to ask OP, are you jealous? No im not. This guy looks like an overweight hobo and she has let herself go over the last 12 months. Edited December 20, 2016 by StartAtTheEnd
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 No, I don't think you're over her at all. You're giving her money and know way too much about her life. You don't need to be having sex with someone to not be over them, you realize. His intentions? He's found a woman who likes him and he wants to lock her down as soon as possible. Convenient sex, convenient affection. What more do you want to know? He's taking advantage of her, and she's doing it right back. Just like she did to you when she had you forking over money. She replaced you with him. What do you intend to do with this information? And it's not "bro" - it's "sister". I'm a woman. Im over her. Im not physically attracted to her anymore. I guess all i can do is bunker down in preparation for the ****storm when this all ends. I can understand a 54 year old using her for sex. That is my suspicion.
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 If you're helping pay her bills, involved in her drama, and showing this level of concern because she moved in with some random man, you aren't over her. Over her means you wish her well and then extricate yourself from her life. Her problems and the accompanying drama are only your problem because you allow it. Stop. If she shows up at your place, ask her to leave. If she refuses or behaves badly, call the police and have her removed. If she threatens to harm herself or others, call the police and let them take her to the nearest psychiatric treatment center for eval and treatment. Well then im not over her. Im not going to argue over semantics. Sorry for thinking it is odd that a 54 year old man falls in love and gets her to meet his parents and vice versa all within a 7 days. I came to get advice on that aspect.
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 I am personally in the camp of exes should never really be and stay friends. If you have no loose ties to tie up- for example, negotiating issues concerning children, or a house you've brought together- then staying in each other's lives and labouring over who your ex brings into their life is none of your concern. If she does go into a relationship with a 50-year-old and moves and in tomorrow, a bit sad for her child, but still none of your concern. You have your own life to worry about. Her life is out of your hands. Even if she has bi-polar, she is still responsible for her decisions, and not even you can really save her from making decisions that would seem otherwise destructive. I would just from now on, stay out of her life and move on with yours. Once again, i didnt come here to ask whether exes should remain friends
CommittedToThis Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 Sorry for thinking it is odd that a 54 year old man falls in love and gets her to meet his parents and vice versa all within a 7 days. I came to get advice on that aspect. It's not that odd, and my advice is to let her go, completely. No contact.
LD1990 Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 I know the guy is scum. He is probably just using her for a root after a long dry patch. Keep her around for a few months i guess. Seems like you've got quite a bit of animosity towards some guy you don't even know. Why? And from everything you've described here, you and your ex have never been friends, you've been her enabler.
VeveCakes Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 Once again, i didnt come here to ask whether exes should remain friends OK fine, to answer your question. Why did they meet after 7 days? He is 50, so maybe he doesnt want to waste his time. Maybe he lives close to his parents. Maybe they are super close. Maybe he looks after them. I have had guys I slept with meet my parents after the first time because my dad stores his race car in my garage and is always over here on the weekend. So yeah, they met my parents. Did it mean anything? No... The question is WHY are you so invested in the love life of someone you apparently have no interest in.
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 Seems like you've got quite a bit of animosity towards some guy you don't even know. Why? And from everything you've described here, you and your ex have never been friends, you've been her enabler. Im not going to argue semantics between friends or enabler. Once again, it is irrelevant. Animosity isnt the right word, but im definitely sceptical of his motives. Thr original question regarded the fast pace of this relationship. Ive got very little informative discussion. Im not jealous of this guy, but i think he is desperate at best, and a sociopath at worst.
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 OK fine, to answer your question. Why did they meet after 7 days? He is 50, so maybe he doesnt want to waste his time. Maybe he lives close to his parents. Maybe they are super close. Maybe he looks after them. I have had guys I slept with meet my parents after the first time because my dad stores his race car in my garage and is always over here on the weekend. So yeah, they met my parents. Did it mean anything? No... The question is WHY are you so invested in the love life of someone you apparently have no interest in. Im not invested in it. The last week i have had a stress free existence. But despite what people say, it is very hard to remove someone completely from your life. Shed drive her car through my door to get to me if she had to. I know my exs history. I know the guys she attracts.
LD1990 Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 Im not going to argue semantics between friends or enabler. Once again, it is irrelevant. Animosity isnt the right word, but im definitely sceptical of his motives. Thr original question regarded the fast pace of this relationship. Ive got very little informative discussion. Im not jealous of this guy, but i think he is desperate at best, and a sociopath at worst. Informative discussion? No one here can read this guy's mind and tell you his intentions. You asked for advice, you got advice, namely that it's not any of your business. It sounds like you're bitter that she's spending all her time with him now instead of hanging out with you. Of course, I'm sure you'll say how that's not true and life has been so great without her, but the fact that you're so negative and skeptical about this guy, who you don't know at all, says otherwise.
Author StartAtTheEnd Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 Informative discussion? No one here can read this guy's mind and tell you his intentions. You asked for advice, you got advice, namely that it's not any of your business. It sounds like you're bitter that she's spending all her time with him now instead of hanging out with you. Of course, I'm sure you'll say how that's not true and life has been so great without her, but the fact that you're so negative and skeptical about this guy, who you don't know at all, says otherwise. Whatever. We havent been together for more than 2 years but im just a bitter ex? Yeah. Ok. I just think it is odd a 54 year old man, recently divorced, gets a 39 year old women to move in within a week, declares his developing love on fb and meets parents, at his insistence. Yes it is none of my business, i agree. But surely, considering our close friendship, i am allowed to question the mans motives here. That behaviour is very strange in my book, almost evident of a serious personality disorder. Will keep everyone informed how this goes.
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