Author Redguitar35 Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 The fact that she is still active on Tinder does not mean she is lukewarm at best or not interested. That makes zero sense to me.
LD1990 Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 That makes zero sense to me. Christ. So many people have explained this. You two went on one date. She doesn't know if you're ever going to talk to her again. It would be foolish of her to take herself off the market for some guy who may not even contact her. That doesn't mean she's not interested, it just means she's not going to revolve her whole dating world around you yet. 2
Redhead14 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Thanks for your message. This is the best reply I've seen in this. It just seems as a society we are expecting less and less of each other. Of course, cling to the one response that supports your attitude. The fact is that everyone else is saying something different. This is the equivalent of going to 10 doctors until you get the diagnosis you want instead of the one that will help you. If you liked this woman, ask her out again. If she declines, so be it. Go out and find another woman you find attractive and interesting. A hurdle jumper doesn't stop when he/she knocks over a hurdle, they keep jumping til they get to the last hurdle . . . 2
Author Redguitar35 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 Of course, cling to the one response that supports your attitude. The fact is that everyone else is saying something different. This is the equivalent of going to 10 doctors until you get the diagnosis you want instead of the one that will help you. If you liked this woman, ask her out again. If she declines, so be it. If she declines, then my assessment of the situation -- that someone jumping back into their dating profile after a nice date is a bad sign -- was correct. I haven't heard anyone here say that it's a good sign or that I should be excited about that. That's my point. I think it's best to move on from her.
Redhead14 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) If she declines, then my assessment of the situation -- that someone jumping back into their dating profile after a nice date is a bad sign -- was correct. I haven't heard anyone here say that it's a good sign or that I should be excited about that. That's my point. I think it's best to move on from her. Okie dokie. Good luck with your "entitled", limited, judgemental, assuming dating journey. Edited December 21, 2016 by Redhead14 1
Leigh 87 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 It was one date. You can't expect her to forsake all others after one date. Some people are super into each other and have tbe instant spark.
Dis Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Of course, cling to the one response that supports your attitude. The fact is that everyone else is saying something different. This is the equivalent of going to 10 doctors until you get the diagnosis you want instead of the one that will help you. If you liked this woman, ask her out again. If she declines, so be it. Go out and find another woman you find attractive and interesting. A hurdle jumper doesn't stop when he/she knocks over a hurdle, they keep jumping til they get to the last hurdle . . . I wasnt supporting him throwing in the towel nor was I saying multi-dating isn't the norm or acceptable I was saying the opposite I was just trying to put a positive spin on it because dating is hard for all us...the OP could use encouragment just like the rest of us
TheTraveler Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 If she declines, then my assessment of the situation -- that someone jumping back into their dating profile after a nice date is a bad sign -- was correct. I haven't heard anyone here say that it's a good sign or that I should be excited about that. That's my point. I think it's best to move on from her. You should move on and find another date. You're willing to put your life on hold from one date while she is on vacation through January. She's not As I have already said, you need to look in the mirror and work on yourself. Because if you did, you wouldn't be feeling depressed, disappointed in regards to this situation.
mortensorchid Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Tinder? It's what it is. I have met a few people on it, honestly it was no different than any other dating website. You meet, you have an evening, then you never hear from that person again. I did meet a friend on Tinder, he and I are still friends today, but that's a separate story... But it sounds like she's still using the app to be sure. It doesn't mean she's not interested in you. Have you contacted her at all since the first get together? Just shot her a "Hi how are you?" text even? Remember, if you have not called within 48 hours after the first get together it tells her that you are not that interested. 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) As I have already said, you need to look in the mirror and work on yourself. Because if you did, you wouldn't be feeling depressed, disappointed in regards to this situation. No. It's disappointing because I liked her and thought she was interesting. You should move on and find another date. You're willing to put your life on hold from one date while she is on vacation through January. She's not When I meet someone, I give them all my attention, then end it or take the relationship to more serious territory. That's not putting my life on hold, that's being decisive and upfront when I don't see any potential there. I think a lot of people are the same way, which is why you have so many one and done dates. In my experience, most people know after the first date whether they want to keep seeing the person, and I think that is what happened with this girl. Edited December 21, 2016 by Redguitar35
Miss Peach Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 If she declines, then my assessment of the situation -- that someone jumping back into their dating profile after a nice date is a bad sign -- was correct. I haven't heard anyone here say that it's a good sign or that I should be excited about that. That's my point. I think it's best to move on from her. The thing is you're forgetting most people do jump right back online until they see where things are going - especially after one date. If this were after several I feel you would have more of a point. I think a lot of people are the same way, which is why you have so many one and done dates. In my experience, most people know after the first date whether they want to keep seeing the person, and I think that is what happened with this girl. I see how it's disappointing because you're hoping it will turn into more (or at least you did). Actually most people I know, especially women, don't think this way. You might enjoy the evening or even feel a spark, but you really know nothing about someone after a few hours. That reveals itself over time.
mushroomlol Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 You might be new to online dating. I used to act like you. I wouldn't meet someone if I am interested and if I had a great first date, I wouldn't even look at other guys and just focus on the one I date. But now I have changed. I can date multiple people at the same time. For one thing I am not sure if the spark I had during first date was real. You know things may change a lot on a second date. So I really don't want to be super invested and become disappointed later on. She might have the same mindset as you - which means she is not interested in you and want to get other dates; or she might think the same as the majority of people here - just don't want to super invest after a great first date. You wouldn't know because you cannot read her mind. Don't try to guess what others' thoughts are. Instead focus on your own feeling. If you like her, ask her out. If not, move on. The one thing I learnt from dating is that you gotta put yourself first. Do whatever you want to and you will not regret. 2
selinaluv Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 But not sure if you have even answered the question if you have followed up with her since the date. If you like her you have to work at these things. Don't worry about what she does on Tinder. Show her you are interested. That action could turn lukewarm to something more because you are expressing your interest. And if it doesn't? At least you know you gave it your shot. Just cause you said you want to see her when she gets back means nothing. I have had men say that and I never see or hear from them again. Like I said before, we women are browbeaten over time to believe it is best to have the man take the lead. It may not be fair or right, but it is what it is and it may be the way she dates. I will add, that even as a woman, I have taken the chances I preach above. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't, but at least I knew where they stood and I could move on.
Author Redguitar35 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) But not sure if you have even answered the question if you have followed up with her since the date. Yes, I did later that evening, and then a couple days later. Friday Me: Today was fun, Katie. Have fun in Mexico. See you again in Jan.? Her: Same to you i enjoyed it. Thank you. Yes let's stay in touch over the holidays Me: we will Sunday Me: Hey, pretty bad ice storm last night. did your flight make it to Mexico? Her: Yes i am in tijuana now, eating brunch rn Me: Here it's 15 degrees, so probably a little warmer where you are, ha. Her: 50° here. Me: Not quite warm enough to swim. Her: Not at all Me: My best friend actually had a destination wedding in Cabos. It was fun. That was it. Then she kept updating her profile. Haven't spoke to her since. Edited December 21, 2016 by Redguitar35
selinaluv Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 Yes, I did later that evening, and then a couple days later. Friday Me: Today was fun, Katie. Have fun in Mexico. See you again in Jan.? Her: Same to you i enjoyed it. Thank you. Yes let's stay in touch over the holidays Me: we will Sunday Me: Hey, pretty bad ice storm last night. did your flight make it to Mexico? Her: Yes i am in tijuana now, eating brunch rn Me: Here it's 15 degrees, so probably a little warmer where you are, ha. Her: 50° here. Me: Not quite warm enough to swim. Her: Not at all Me: My best friend actually had a destination wedding in Cabos. It was fun. That was it. Then she kept updating her profile. Haven't spoke to her since. Ah, okay. I see in your first exchange she actually did not acknowledge directly seeing you in January... just saying keep in touch. This may be genuine or it may be not. Only time will tell if you give it another shot or so. It does sound in this case she isn't 100% into it. It would be nice for her to tell you she may not be interested or she may keep communication open because she isn't 100% sure. I have done this and it has been done to me. After one date, people don't really owe us much and we need to accept that to move forward.
LD1990 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 If I were you I'd text her in January and ask her out again. It would be difficult to keep a text conversation going right now. You two barely know each other, it's the holiday season, and she's on vacation. You did your part by reaching out a few times, she responded. Give it a shot when she gets back.
CommittedToThis Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 I would send one last text saying, "I hope you are having a fantastic trip, be safe, have fun, enjoy the holidays and I'll call you next month." Then just call her next month. 2
TheTraveler Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Yes, I did later that evening, and then a couple days later. Friday Me: Today was fun, Katie. Have fun in Mexico. See you again in Jan.? Her: Same to you i enjoyed it. Thank you. Yes let's stay in touch over the holidays Should have just ended there. B]Sunday[/b] Me: Hey, pretty bad ice storm last night. did your flight make it to Mexico? Her: Yes i am in tijuana now, eating brunch rn Me: Here it's 15 degrees, so probably a little warmer where you are, ha. Her: 50° here. Me: Not quite warm enough to swim. Her: Not at all Me: My best friend actually had a destination wedding in Cabos. It was fun. That was it. Then she kept updating her profile. Haven't spoke to her since. This is useless texting, especially two days later. Keep in touch over the holidays means a random text a few days out and a random text a few days later. So she's updating her tinder? So what she doesn't owe you anything after one date and she's gone for multiple weeks Probably looking to hookup with a latin long hair guy or other travelers on vacation. That's all there is to this thread
Author Redguitar35 Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) IMO a woman doesn't owe you anything after ONE date. Even if I like a guy a lot I keep dating. So she's updating her tinder? So what she doesn't owe you anything after one date After one date, people don't really owe us much and we need to accept that to move forward. I did not and have never said she owes me anything, folks. The point is, there are very, very few quality women online, and so it's perfectly valid to feel disappointed when a good one gets away. Something you hoped for didn't happen, and it's a let down. Edited December 22, 2016 by Redguitar35
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