Late Nights Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 Current situation for me we are already broken up but "trying to give it another chance"... My earlier post explained our breakup. To this day me and my ex gf have been broken up for 5 months. First 3 months after the breakup was bad. The last 2 months were going ok. We got into an heated argument 2 weeks ago to the point she said she was done with me. I said fine from this day on i don't want to be friends or anything. I finally went with the NC rule for a full 7 days until she decides to call me. On the phone there was no mention of the argument but just a catch up convosation of how we are doing. We are now civil again but i held my tongue for the past 2 months. Even things were ok for us i notice that I was the only one who was making the initial move to text or call just to get things good again and to hope we can get good and go towards another try. Today i just have been thinking that im the only one who makes a move to try and talk. It just seems like everytime i do talk to her its a one sided thing. She wants me to try but for her she's not even giving me any signs of interest. So i decided that im finally going to stop draining and pursuing someone who show no interest in talking to me. Today i brought it up to her attention and asked why did she call me back when she said she was done? She tells me she wants us to remain mutual and be friends since i was apart of her life 3+ years. I finally told her that she is keeping my feelings in a limbo and making it difficult for me to move on. So if she doesn't want me then let us be done for good because i have to look out for my own feeling now. Im drained and tired of this one sided thing. One person is wanting a little bit of time to find herself while me on the other hand still have the same feelings but getting emotionally drained to the point where im so insecure. I gave her an ultimatum this morning. I asked her do you still want me yes or no and if its a no then i am DONE. Like i told her i dont want to be anything with her from this day out. She wanted a day to think about it because she wants to make sure she gives me the right answer. I didn't want to wait so i called her and pressed her on it she didn't know and i told her its a simple yes or no. Finally she said yes. Now i told her she needs to work better on trying on her part to instead of just me hitting her up. He plan with me was that she wanted to take things very slow and not jumping back too fast because she wants to see some changes in me. But the most important thing for me now really is to know why can't she just let me go when she says she is done? Why does she come back? She knows that once it's over i don't care to be friends with her anymore because she will be dead to me. Its toxic but it seems like we both don't want to lose each other.
DumpedGuy9617 Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 If I was you, I would tell her you need some time with no contact to sort yourself out. Take a month or two to work on yourself, reflect on the relationship, and decide if the issues between you two are resolvable. I happen to believe that if a couple breaks up for certain reasons, sometimes the relationship is better when they both understand their roles in it failing and both want to make it work. It sounds like right now you two are both afraid of being alone, but the relationship will never last on that foundation. After a month or two you may realize it's not worth it, and you're better off looking for something new. 1
umirano Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 You're not NC. No wonder you are not getting over her and better. Go NC and stay NC. 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 (edited) I understand completely from the both of you. I think it is me that's afraid of being alone. She is afraid of loosinf me because she knows i have the potential to be that guy. She saw how i was with my last ex. I treated her like the world and got played. The last relationship messed it up for the current ex. The current ex met me when i was still in the recovery mode. I guess i should be happy just for her to even put up with my stuff even after our breakup and still hold on. Taking NC 2 months or more i think it will help ME out more. Since i made it so easier for her ny pushing her away even futher. This is one thing she told me. My ex is very attractive and has a very nice, outgoing, and friendly personality. She told me there are guys who tried to talk to her since she's single now but she isn't interest in starting anything new or going thru the getting to know process again because she is drained, tired from our relationship and doesn't want to be tied down. Shes invested 3half+ years to get me and with me so I'm guessing she doesnt want all that time just to go down the drain. Shes 26, has a 6 yearold daughter n told me she wants another kid before 30 and get engage. Sigh* She wants to see a change in me and she's willing to give it another go if that happens. But for the mean time she wants to keep me in her life but to also find herself as well. Yes after the New Year is NC definitely. Edited December 21, 2016 by Late Nights
whatdeww18 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 This sounds like a rough situation and it sounds like there are some residual feelings and she isn't interested in another prospect, which is mind boggling for me. As you have read, no contact is the best way to go. I think you have to let her know that you need this no contact to get some perspective, distance, and find yourself again. So what I think you should do in this time is to find yourself again. Find what went wrong in the relationship after some cooling down so you can look at it objectively. Fix those. Find some more goals and interests that you enjoy so you can spend some time doing things you enjoy. Be your own person, and find your own happiness. Being alone sucks. I'm finding what I want to do again after 3 weeks post break up. It excites me and I'm finding my own happiness again, when we fear being alone we depend on the other person and it drains them and we put up expectations without realizing it. You sound like a great person that just needs that alone time to get yourself back. If you really love your ex, take this time to move on. You will see so much more and how much your own fears and unhappiness has limited you as a person. I suggest at least 3 months of no contact, and slowly easing yourself back into contact. (Giving ultimatums, in my opinion, show that you depend on this person for a lot). The concept of moving on just shows you what you need and want out of a relationship. Sometimes this means going on simple dates to see what you like and dislike. It's all about growth, I guess? I'm still figuring this out as I'm working on my own break up haha. Best wishes, -WhatDEWWWWW 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 Thanks you for those words! I really needed some kinds logical insight. I know every relationship isn't the same but they can be similiar. Words compare to actions can throw someone off and that's exactly what had happen to me. One main thing that did stuck out from her words were after i have her the ultimatum of have me now or lose me forever. She questioned me with what if she wants to hit me up later on. But yea we both need it but i need it most.
whatdeww18 Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 I have this bad habit of over analyzing things and seeing them from some psychological view point which is never good. Don't do it. You will make yourself crazy and grow some extra white hairs in the process haha. I'm glad you got the point, sorry if I sounded abrupt, was in a bit of rush but couldn't help myself from posting haha. Yea, definitely just take some time to find yourself, and who knows, maybe you will be the knight in shining armor that she was hoping to see in you. Of course, she will have to do some work if she wants things to work, so those 3 months will help her think. Girls, from what I've read and seen, are either very good with time and do a lot of introspection or jump into another relationship. Which is why, in your case, I'm surprised but I think it's good she won't be jumping into another relationship. Yea, the ultimatum sometimes gives YOU the push you need. But, at the same time, you forced her into a corner and she gave you an answer she might not have had the time to think and see what the benefits were. So no more pushing her, okay? Just give her space and if she is the girl you think she is, she will be working through her problems. If she gets into another relationship, wish her the best and continue to work on yourself. Like I said, sometimes giving ultimatums can really push them away so no more of that. Just show her the things you are changing to better yourself within those 3 months through social media and when you might see her again. ACTIONS AND RESULTS are the best answer to her doubts, not words. I think you are in a better place than you were before if you realize this time apart will benefit you, and your character. Awesome job and believing in you Wishing you the best, -WhatDEWWWWW 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 I think i always over analyzing everything in life. I guess its a Virgo thing lol. Me and my ex talked today she texted me to tell me she can't do it anymore and that she is stressed out(because of me) and just want to focus on work and bettering herself. She wants to get her head on straight before she gives her time to someone. When we first started talking i was already going thru some personal things from work and previous relationship things and i told her at the time "relationships wasn't my number 1 priority, myself and career come first and relatonships come 2nd." This was what she also told me too she felt like she is at this point right now. I took this opportunity to totally agree with her. After what you have recommended to me i finally told her what WE both needed. After all that was sorted out this was the first time in a LONG time what we actually held a back and forth conversation without one of us getting angry and what not. It was almost like we were texting as friends and we both were making jokes and laughing. This felt good and i know she knows it too because usually our communication is 1 sided. I think what opened her up a bit was that i told her that i have a xmas gift for her daughter right after we both agreeded on what we both needed. She was suprised that i even got her something. From this point on she started to conversate back. I guess me getting her daughter a gift made her let her guards down. i guess this is a good sign that has lighten a load on us. After everything was said and done it seemed like this is the first time in a long time that we talked like this. After i discussed what i needed to fix she also admit that she hates her current self to. I realize that i should be happy shes still here even replying. I casually asked her in the beginning of the conversation right after we both agreed on that we needed time that if we can try again in the future? This was before i brought up having a gift for her daughter. She tells me "yes but nothing is guaranteed." What do you take of that answer? i think i got the hint but i don't want to analyze like you said. Also i told her about how you are giving me advice lol how its best to go NC. I kinda twisted and added the other persons response to blocking her #, social medial etc. She says she doesn't feel like cutting her off completely is the solution because that hurts her the most. Other then that i just wanted to give you a followup of where we are. Im slowly starting to feel at ease a bit now like i have a clear answer and some closure. Am i on the right path? Edit. i screen shotted both of your replies and she texted me back: "Damn I need some advice too:laugh:" lol
whatdeww18 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) I think i always over analyzing everything in life. I guess its a Virgo thing lol. Me and my ex talked today she texted me to tell me she can't do it anymore and that she is stressed out(because of me) and just want to focus on work and bettering herself. She wants to get her head on straight before she gives her time to someone. When we first started talking i was already going thru some personal things from work and previous relationship things and i told her at the time "relationships wasn't my number 1 priority, myself and career come first and relatonships come 2nd." This was what she also told me too she felt like she is at this point right now. I took this opportunity to totally agree with her. After what you have recommended to me i finally told her what WE both needed. After all that was sorted out this was the first time in a LONG time what we actually held a back and forth conversation without one of us getting angry and what not. It was almost like we were texting as friends and we both were making jokes and laughing. This felt good and i know she knows it too because usually our communication is 1 sided. I think what opened her up a bit was that i told her that i have a xmas gift for her daughter right after we both agreeded on what we both needed. She was suprised that i even got her something. From this point on she started to conversate back. I guess me getting her daughter a gift made her let her guards down. i guess this is a good sign that has lighten a load on us. After everything was said and done it seemed like this is the first time in a long time that we talked like this. After i discussed what i needed to fix she also admit that she hates her current self to. I realize that i should be happy shes still here even replying. I casually asked her in the beginning of the conversation right after we both agreed on that we needed time that if we can try again in the future? This was before i brought up having a gift for her daughter. She tells me "yes but nothing is guaranteed." What do you take of that answer? i think i got the hint but i don't want to analyze like you said. Also i told her about how you are giving me advice lol how its best to go NC. I kinda twisted and added the other persons response to blocking her #, social medial etc. She says she doesn't feel like cutting her off completely is the solution because that hurts her the most. Other then that i just wanted to give you a followup of where we are. Im slowly starting to feel at ease a bit now like i have a clear answer and some closure. Am i on the right path? Edit. i screen shotted both of your replies and she texted me back: "Damn I need some advice too:laugh:" lol HAHHAAHA I died when I read you took screenshots and showed her! I would be happy to help give advice, although I'm no relationship expert but have been learning slowly over time. So I will extrapolate what I can from what you wrote and give my two cents, I don't mind you showing her this as well as it pertains to both of you. First and foremost, you both seem to be at breaking points with all the outside stress of work. Seriously, take life one step at a time and remember that life is meant to be enjoyed. Don't take it for granted and enjoy the small things, even if it's some random laugh that you get that day, embrace it. Second, your ex has a child. CHILD COMES FIRST. No matter what. You both and work come second. And this is why I believe she opened up to you a bit during the conversation more, because you gave her the affirmation that the child is of the UTMOST importance, in both your lives, if that is what you want. So, you two finally had a conversation, eh? Congratulations! Seriously, couples don't do this enough and it gets taken for granted. How many relationships do you hear about where you think, if they just talked it out, it should have worked? A good number right? So bridge the gap in communication. If conversations were one sided, why? Did one of you get busy and call at bad times? Do you tend to get caught up in all you have to do that you kind of half-listen? Learn to communicate at the RIGHT times, when you devote like 98% of your attention to each other (2% to hear if the child cries or needs something during conversation). Ask questions. Be engaged. Actually be happy if they tell you good news, walk over and give each other a hug if you have bad news. Get some books or read online for good communication, there's bound to be more. Don't forget to enjoy the small things that you do for each other. Thank each other. I know work is very important for the both of you, but you really can't prioritize work 100% of the time. It's just not healthy for any person. You HAVE to have some down time where you just relax. Spend it together, or go on an outing with the child to bond. Make some memories. LAUGH. Finally, don't rush things. Like we talked about earlier, you both are in clear need of some space and introspection. If cutting off contact completely is a bit much, keep it low contact. It sounds like you are starting to get the lines of communication where they should have been. So keep it like that and maybe just keep the conversation light, nothing about the relationship. If you contact everyday, just a quick text like, "Hey ___, just saw a commercial of your favorite food and thought of you." You get my drift? And like I said, really talk when both of you are AVAILABLE TO LISTEN! LISTEN! LIKE EVERY WORD IS REGISTERING IN YOUR HEAD AND YOU CAN ASK A QUESTION BACK. Like they say life and love are both marathons, you don't sprint. You jog, so you have enough energy and cherish your surroundings. Wishing you both the best of luck, and I'll be sure to check back. Rooting for you both Hopefully I can be in your shoes one day with my ex haha! Best wishes, -WhatDEWWWWW Edited December 22, 2016 by whatdeww18 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 (edited) Ohh will her daughter isn't from us but a previous relationship. She is 6 btw lol i left that info out. One main thing her to breakup with me was her daughter. She is a shy girl and it takes her awhile to open up to new people. I didn't try hard enough to open her up to me so i just kinda would let her daughter to get used to me being around and hopefully she would get comfortable. I usually just day hi to her but she would just look at me. Sigh* As for the one sided conversations. When we broke up she wanted me to try harder and don't give up so easily on her. 2 months before my ultimatum i was the one who always initiated contact to her. I usually text good morning, how your day, hows work etc. She would just reply to me with her answers and never even ask me in return how im doing or what I'm up to for that day. Even when she's about to goto sleep i text her something earlier she would never reply and would just goto sleep. The next morning no follow up reply from her what so ever. Then i start over again with a good morning/good afternoon. Even tho she wants me to try and i do and i still get no kinda acknowledgement from her. So i finally got to the point of letting go completely by the ultimatum. Between those 5 months of break up to now we hung out a few times. She was also my date to a friends wedding and of course all over each other. Went to see Christmas lights during thanksgiving and even had sex a few times. So just imagine there was no NC. I really blew my chances of getting back together because she even said let her get over her stress and maybe we can get back. I rushed and i blew it. Ofcourse right after our breakup she was going thru work drama and all her socalled friends turned on her and stopped taking to her to the point she ate alone smh. Just to give you a little insight of where her mind was. I am unemployed for the past 4 months so i have all the time. But yeah a little more detail to see where we both are. Yeah i figured your no expert but its nice getting some onsight from someone who is level-headed. I appreciate it. Who knows if me getting her daughter a gift might change how she feels about me. I still need to go see her at the end of the week to drop off the gift.and ofcourse after the new year its either NC or lomited contact. Do you think she still wants me even tho she tells me there is no guarantee? Edited December 22, 2016 by Late Nights
whatdeww18 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Ohh will her daughter isn't from us but a previous relationship. She is 6 btw lol i left that info out. One main thing her to breakup with me was her daughter. She is a shy girl and it takes her awhile to open up to new people. I didn't try hard enough to open her up to me so i just kinda would let her daughter to get used to me being around and hopefully she would get comfortable. I usually just day hi to her but she would just look at me. Sigh* As for the one sided conversations. When we broke up she wanted me to try harder and don't give up so easily on her. 2 months before my ultimatum i was the one who always initiated contact to her. I usually text good morning, how your day, hows work etc. She would just reply to me with her answers and never even ask me in return how im doing or what I'm up to for that day. Even when she's about to goto sleep i text her something earlier she would never reply and would just goto sleep. The next morning no follow up reply from her what so ever. Then i start over again with a good morning/good afternoon. Even tho she wants me to try and i do and i still get no kinda acknowledgement from her. So i finally got to the point of letting go completely by the ultimatum. Between those 5 months of break up to now we hung out a few times. She was also my date to a friends wedding and of course all over each other. Went to see Christmas lights during thanksgiving and even had sex a few times. So just imagine there was no NC. I really blew my chances of getting back together because she even said let her get over her stress and maybe we can get back. I rushed and i blew it. Ofcourse right after our breakup she was going thru work drama and all her socalled friends turned on her and stopped taking to her to the point she ate alone smh. Just to give you a little insight of where her mind was. I am unemployed for the past 4 months so i have all the time. But yeah a little more detail to see where we both are. Yeah i figured your no expert but its nice getting some onsight from someone who is level-headed. I appreciate it. Who knows if me getting her daughter a gift might change how she feels about me. I still need to go see her at the end of the week to drop off the gift.and ofcourse after the new year its either NC or lomited contact. Do you think she still wants me even tho she tells me there is no guarantee? No matter the age and who the father is, a child will and always will be her number one priority. And if you want a life with her, you need to make the child your number one priority as well. It's just how the heart develops as we grow older, you know? So a common theme I am seeing in all your statements is a "seemingly" lack of effort on your part. Again, this falls on communication because what you think you may be trying to do is not effort at all in her eyes. Personally, if I was a step child, I would be hesitant in getting close to a potential new step dad. It's hard, and I've seen the damages of attaching to someone too much, only to end up having him leave. So why do I point out so much emphasis on the child? Your ex's future is her work and the child, with or without a man. If she is to see a future with a man, her baby has gotta be taken care of from you. I mean, you don't need to smother the child. But if there are small things you can do, I would say give it a try. For example, any time you visit them, bring the child's favorite candy. Help her with homework. Suggest an ice cream outing. Just small things so the child and your ex can see you genuinely care not only about your relationship with your ex but the child as well. This ties into your last question, there are no guarantees because she can probably see you two have an emotional connection, sees POTENTIAL in you, but you haven't been delivering in certain areas. Again, I stress the importance of making that connection to the child but I would say definitely getting a stable job would help. I am sure she has areas that she would like to see more effort from you. HOWEVER, this should by no means be an effort of either of you to try to change another. So seeing her after doesn't ruin your chances if she is willing to wait for you and see the changes. That's the whole point of her accepting going on outings with you. She will be able to see these changes. If you have time, exercise a bit. Take care of yourself. Show her you can take care of yourself first, because then you can take care of other people. The texting her good morning/good afternoon is okay but I think a tad bit much. I would personally suggest, SHE calls you at convenient times for the both of you. Maybe before you both head to bed, just catch up a couple times a week to see how you're both doing. Enough to stay in contact, intimate, and not an overload either. To be quite frank, the ball is in your court to make or break it, in my opinion. It seems like she is willing to wait to see changes, she wants to keep you in her life in terms of contact, and you have to do your best to accomplish these goals. Although, I would be careful that neither of you are stringing each other along. If it is a break up, that's final, you know? But if you used it because you were both at wits ends and just needed to have each other gain some perspective, call it a break and work on yourselves independently. Your best interest always come first. GOOD LUCK!!! -WhatDEWWWWW 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 You Nailed spot on! Man its crazy you totally understand and this is exactly what she said to me that of she going to be with a man then he needs to be important and get to know her daughter too even if she is shy just try until she opens up. So yes that is exactly a strong father figure that cares. You are right again im lacking that. Yes i have been steadily going to the gym even before we got together. That's one thing i won't do is to let myself go physically. As for a job o have been searching and since it's the end of the year i know alot of places won't hire until after Jan/Feb. Yes i hear you on texting her idk why but i texted her good morning and that was it. One thing that our relationship did lack WAS communication. You know when you ask a girl what she wants to eat lol sometimes that will get her mad lolol. I always had to pick n choose and is always ye same few places even tho she knows there are new places she wants to try out. I still have to go see her maybe later tomorrow night to drop off her daughters present. I still haven't asked her when to do so yet but im guessing that. I didn't get my ex anything BUT up until we talked yesterday i was just thinking of getting something that isn't too serious. Like a xmas card, bottle of wine and a iPhone case since she got a new phone. Krrping it veeeeery simple. The ball is definitely in my court like you said. You have gone beyond and have me some real clarity foreal. If you was me after i drop off the gift should after that day i go NC or keep it very limited like 2-3 weeks before even doing anything. Or like you said just go NC until she is o. her time to reach out to me?
whatdeww18 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 You Nailed spot on! Man its crazy you totally understand and this is exactly what she said to me that of she going to be with a man then he needs to be important and get to know her daughter too even if she is shy just try until she opens up. So yes that is exactly a strong father figure that cares. You are right again im lacking that. Yes i have been steadily going to the gym even before we got together. That's one thing i won't do is to let myself go physically. As for a job o have been searching and since it's the end of the year i know alot of places won't hire until after Jan/Feb. Yes i hear you on texting her idk why but i texted her good morning and that was it. One thing that our relationship did lack WAS communication. You know when you ask a girl what she wants to eat lol sometimes that will get her mad lolol. I always had to pick n choose and is always ye same few places even tho she knows there are new places she wants to try out. I still have to go see her maybe later tomorrow night to drop off her daughters present. I still haven't asked her when to do so yet but im guessing that. I didn't get my ex anything BUT up until we talked yesterday i was just thinking of getting something that isn't too serious. Like a xmas card, bottle of wine and a iPhone case since she got a new phone. Krrping it veeeeery simple. The ball is definitely in my court like you said. You have gone beyond and have me some real clarity foreal. If you was me after i drop off the gift should after that day i go NC or keep it very limited like 2-3 weeks before even doing anything. Or like you said just go NC until she is o. her time to reach out to me? Aww well glad I can be of help, makes me smile too you know? I'm actually probably a whole hell of a lot younger, but when I imagine myself in her shoes, I feel like we would want similar things. It's something that doesn't always kick in right away to think of being a father figure when you date someone. Hell, it's hard to even try to get to know your partner. So take your time and it's going to be tough but don't get discouraged. Persistence will win any child's heart, the kid just wants to know you will be there through thick and thin. If the child doesn't see his/her father much, I think this will be a really good time for you to act that way especially during the holidays. What kid wouldn't want their father figure to come home, ask to sit in the chair next to him or sit in his lap, and open the present. Just smile and let him/her know you really do care. That is also a HUGE plus in my book for a father figure and a loving partner. Hey, with this economy, and the job market, I will happily congratulate you when you find a job. It's hard, I know. And to find a decent job at that while having time for yourself and your family? Even harder, don't rush it and just find the job that you know will benefit you. Don't rush it to appease her, and the child. I'm sure you are more than smart and capable enough of knowing that so this is more of just encouragement to take your time and find the right job! Haha I know that feeling. Guys like the familiar and sometimes, you just have to go on a whim and try something new even if it isn't good. Just smile and make a joke if the food is terrible. It's all about the experience, not the food. For example, say you both went to a TERRIBLE restaurant and the food was disgusting. You make a joke, make it light, and say let's pay the bill and go to McDonald's. Or you get frustrated and your actions show and say, "this is why I like familiar places..." Which do you think she will enjoy more? She won't remember the food but she'll remember how much of a gentleman you were Do whatever is comfortable for you and her. If she likes surprises, I would say just drop by. If not, just shoot a quick text and ask for an hour of her time to drop things off and catch up. Make the time meaningful. And it doesn't hurt to buy her something small, it wouldn't make me fall for you but it does show you care. I think the best gift for her will be making her child smile by giving the gift in a fatherly way like I mentioned above. I am happy to help, anytime! Before you leave her place, just let her know that you want to give her space. You will be thinking of her, but you would like her to call you. This is if she feels that you have been giving her too much attention. If it wasn't enough, just ask her if it would be okay to talk on the phone a couple times a week, and what days work best for her. GOOOD LUCK MY FRIEND! -WhatDEWWWWW 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 22, 2016 Author Posted December 22, 2016 Man im in my early 30s and still learning lol. I wish i can still have another shot with her and her daughter but it isnt like that anymore. I really think this is like the end. I haven't seen her since like 3 weeks ago when i went to meet up with her at a restaurant. We don't really have any relations right now and i pushed her all the way out im guessing. I don't know if i will even see her to drop off this gift because i still did't get a word when to bring it yet so if anything ill probably just drop it off at her house on the porch. Man i was just talking to my friend today and i was in denial about everything. My friend is one of those player type guys and he has a better understand how girls mind work. He just made me open my eyes realize that shes gone, moved on but still wants to keep me on the hook and be "friends" or still in her life. He really gave me a reality check today smh. Ofcourse like you said i can't over analyze everything from her words to her action but from what i told me friend he already knows whats on her mind. I can't be mad. If i don't get a reply from her then ill probably will drop off the present tomorrow evening and that will be that. I think what is best is that i go NC after this. If she wants to talk then she will take some time out of her life and reach out to me. No more of me trying because i pushed her away too far. Even IF she do decided to contact me should i even pickup or just go NC until next time. IF there is a next time lol. Man i was confident and happy but until my friend gave me the harsh reality check today smh.
whatdeww18 Posted December 22, 2016 Posted December 22, 2016 Yea it's okay we all make mistakes and sometimes we do push too far. I think your friend knows girls very well and I was under the assumption that she told you she would wait for you. But yes, like I told you earlier, I would be careful of her stringing you along. It is why I suggested no contact. Just drop the present and like you said, you know what to do. Just let things play out and hopefully things go well for you! Wishing the best, -WhatDEWWWWW 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 23, 2016 Author Posted December 23, 2016 Yoooooooo! I totally messed up smh. Man o man. Yeah i let me friend feed me HIS point of view and it got me feeling some type of way. I decided you know what ima hit her up and see what's up. I woke her up asked her what's she's doing how come she never replied to me today. I know i crossed the line again. She said she didn't reply because she hada bad day at work and on the verge where she feels like quitting. She sounded VERRY stressed out smh. Feeling stupid i switch it up and was like well i just wanted to tell you I'm going to drop off the gift tomorrow and ill let you know when it's outside. I also told her you won't have to worry about me bothering you anymore im going to leave you alone. She then was like what do you mean leave me alone i thought we were good we texted fine yesterday. Then she was like why are you doing this to me again? I was like oh don't worry i won't anymore ill drop it off and ill be omw. She then told me if your not going to be my friend don't drop it off at all im stressed out and i don't even have a friend i don't need to stress out over this right now i have my work stressing me out. She then starts to cry a little and tells me don't drop anything off at all if your not going to be a friend to me just forgot about it. I then was like ok ill be your friend ok ill leave you alone . What about the gift. She tells me just hold on to it and i can give it to her later when this work stress settles down. Mannnnnnnnnnn. Smh. I told her okay I'll hold on to it. Ok well ill let you go back to sleep and im sorry. I feel awful and the whole time i just agreed and kept it from blowing up into an argument smh. My friend set me up feeding me HIS personal views into my head. My friend is one of those pretty boys that hits on every girl that is attractive and it don't matter if they are taken, married and what not. He see how all these girls are specially the ones that isn't loyal and he has a different perception on girls. He tells me stories about all these married girls or girls that have bfs how he can get them easy. He was cheated on by his last gf so when he sees how these girls world come to him. He can't trust NO girls. Smh. Going on NC foreal.
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