jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 I recently went on a 3rd date with a 30 year old woman. I'm 37 and from Scotland UK. Generally got on well the first couple of dates and i am very attracted to her, but we started talking about what we want from a relationship and she mentioned that she would like to be engaged within 4-6 months, as all her friends were doing that. I found this far too quick. She then proceeded to show me the engagement ring she likes from a website costing £12,000 ($15,000) and would expected me to spend at least 3 months salary on one. I live in a city that is suffering from a recent economic downturn, i have had my wages reduced, family and friends have been paid off, i found her suggestion ridiculous and vulgar but kept my thoughts to myself. Babies names were mentioned too and she wanted to be pregnant next year or else she was emigrating to Australia. Am i so far out of the loop that this is what some people want these days? Or is she a bit mad? The whole experience left me a bit deflated and very disappointed. All a bit much for me!
PegNosePete Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 Wow. I would tell her "enjoy Australia" and run away from her as fast as you can.
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Told my friend about the date and he told me to delete her number as she would destroy me! If i didn't he was going to take the phone and delete her number for me! I deleted the number. 1
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Haha Deep inside, i wouldn't blame you. I feel sorry for the mug that is going to eventually marry her.
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 It was the fact she said all her friends were getting engaged after 4-6 months that got me and she said i was odd for wanting to wait at least 18 months to 2 years. I know it's a very lucky escape. Thankfully she is not in my social circle.
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 I did cut the date short subtlety as i was astonished. Asked my friend out for a pint after it as i needed it! She didn't like when i swore to myself when the football was on so maybe done myself a favor there! Yes all very real sadly!
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Yeah, never again.... My friend thought i was taking the piss too...
coolheadal Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 First keep your money in the bank! She should really want you for and not for a very expensive engagement ring. So much value into metal and not so much into emotional love that she should have and respect for you. This is woman you really don't want to be with and if you put up with her then not going to be a spring picnic later down the road of disaster.
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Yeah i intend too.. Just sat there thinking what a waste of money, that could be so much better put to use. Great if you are rich enough to afford that. But i couldn't. Quite correct Coolheadal, would be a disaster waiting to happen.
BaileyB Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 At least she told you early on what her "plan" was... So you could decide if you were ok with this or if you wanted to leave without wasting too much time. I think you made a good decision.
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Yeah, i'm glad i found out now and not months down the line. Hopefully for her sake she becomes a bit more realistic with age and experience.
PegNosePete Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 Hopefully for her sake she becomes a bit more realistic with age and experience. More likely she'll meet a jerk who will promise her the world just to get in her pants, after which he'll unceremoniously dump her. She'll get hurt and even more resentful towards all men, before meeting another jerk who does exactly the same.
coolheadal Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 Yeah i intend too.. Just sat there thinking what a waste of money, that could be so much better put to use. Great if you are rich enough to afford that. But i couldn't. Quite correct Coolheadal, would be a disaster waiting to happen. Here in the states we say "on your way out, don't let the door hit your faddy or "Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out" basically when she wanted you to spend 15K you should have said I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE"
IfonlyIknew Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 (edited) Sorry you wasted your time on her! I've ran into one of these along my way and now I refer to them as "the bobby's in the world" they're the ones that have that "pre reserved chair". He didn't care WHO was sitting in it, he just knew whoever sat in that chair, he had plans in place for whoever took that seat. Engagement after engagement (I left before we got there) but all he talked about was making his parents happy to find a wife (ANY wife) to have kids (who cares who is pregnant) there was no care as to who as long as the goal went through. Run as fast as you can. Edited December 19, 2016 by IfonlyIknew
Author jackattack Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Sorry you wasted your time on her! I've ran into one of these along my way and now I refer to them as "the bobby's in the world" they're the ones that have that "pre reserved chair". He didn't care WHO was sitting in it, he just knew whoever sat in that chair, he had plans in place for whoever took that seat. Engagement after engagement (I left before we got there) but all he talked about was making his parents happy to find a wife (ANY wife) to have kids (who cares who is pregnant) there was no care as to who as long as the goal went through. Run as fast as you can. You are spot on! I got the impression, she was trying to keep her parents happy by marrying a guy who has all the things she (and her parents) want.Both her elder brothers are high earners (Which she informed me of) So perhaps trying to keep up with them.
BlackCherry Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 Very bizarre. No doubt she'll end up shackled to someone who isn't right for her, in her bid to find a husband (any husband) as fast as possible. You were right to run a mile, some guys would have gone along with it for fear of losing the opportunity to date her. During the first few days, it's fine to ask where someone sees themselves in the future and their thoughts on marriage and kids, if only to gauge whether there's any point getting in deeper emotionally if one of you wants those things and the other is dead against them. But once you've established you're both roughly on the same page, the focus really needs to be on getting to know one another, enjoying their company, and building a strong foundation. The thought of getting engaged after a few months is hilarious, I know people do it and it sometimes works out but man, I can't imagine the looks on my friends and family's faces if I told them I was engaged after a few months! The icing on the cake was her actually showing you the ring she wanted, oh man. That made me think she's just a scam artist getting expensive rings of men then breaking up and selling them on.
Author jackattack Posted December 20, 2016 Author Posted December 20, 2016 Yeah, i thought that. No way was i going along with it no matter how attracted i was to her. The idea of getting engaged so soon is not for me. When i said i would rather wait a bit longer to get to know someone, she commented that i was getting old. (37) and she was too. (30) she would not wait for a man who was not going to want to get engaged soon. Like yourself Blackcherry, i know my friends and family would not be happy if i got engaged so fast. I know they would be angry with me. You do make a good point about a possible scam, she told me she has turned down 4 guys proposals. What i found bizarre was there was no photos of any men on her Facebook (Now deleted)...
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