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What's up with this girl

whocares123

By whocares123
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whocares123 New Member

whocares123

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Sorry for the long and not native post,

 

So this girl is in my university and we met a few times by accident in recess, so it was just a "hi how are you" quickly conversation. At first I found her cute but after some of this meetings I started falling for her, she had that look in which I knew something was going on, since we stared a lot. Anyway I never asked her out cus I'm shy af but one night in a rave party we met and she was just like super happy to see me and stuff. I ignored her because she was with another guy, and went to dance. She appeared with my friend and started dancing close to me and friends, so I couldn't resist and grab her gently by the waist and started to dance with her. Talked a few craps and ended making out with her. Later we chatted outside for a few, high as hell, and she said some things that really left me shaking my head like "I've been single for a long", "I am pretty much a cold person" "I came with this guy but I want to be with you" kinda stuff, so after a while i just stopped talking to her since she was worried to not look like a b**** and hanged out with my friends the rest of the night.

 

The next days I planned to start knowing her, asked her number, and was finally going to ask her out. At first tried, but we were both with final exams so it was not a really good idea, so yeah forget it let's try later. When exams ended I asked if she wanted to hang out the day she was going to be in the city and she was like " yes off course we should do something", cool let's do that, but when that day came and I asked her out she just stopped replying, couldn't tell if she read it but obviously she did. Did not reply untill the other day excusing herself she was tired and felt asleep blabla, but for me it was pure bs and didn't reply her message since.

 

Anyway, I've talked with friends about this and none seems to get wtf is going on, so, any thoughts? (probably not she's not interested, yeah, but that weird conversation about her giving me hints and hugging like she knew me for a long left me confused)

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Terry8889 Established Member

Terry8889

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That is weird. The night of the party, do you know if she was drunk or high? because If she was that might explain her behavior. If I were you I would not send another message. If you see her again then talk to her (not about the ignored texts) just talk like friends and maybe ask her out for coffee, tell her that you like her but if she doesn't like it you are fine with it and you respect that. Sometimes guys can be confusing (im a girl) you guys think we will magically figure out what you have in mind. Maybe she has no idea of what your intentions are. Again, tell her you like her but you'll be cool if she doesn't see you that way. If she says she likes you too great if not at least you'll know where you stand. Good luck!

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butterfly84 Member

butterfly84

Posted
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I agree with Terry8889 and you also mentioned she said she was a 'cold person' when you chatted at the party. Maybe she is going through something within herself that she's struggling with and that could be impacting the way she responds to you (which is nothing to do with you but more with her).

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CommittedToThis Established Member

CommittedToThis

Posted
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Later we chatted outside for a few, high as hell

 

I get the feeling this woman was stoned immaculate at the time.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

"I've been single for a long", "I am pretty much a cold person" "I came with this guy but I want to be with you" kinda stuff, so after a while i just stopped talking to her since she was worried to not look like a b****"

 

What's wrong with her is what she told you: She can't keep a man, she is a cold person, which I take to mean "not very nice or ethical, and I'm disloyal and rude and impulsive in the extreme, so I'll come in with one guy and make out with another, and this includes you. If she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you. She knows she's being a b, as you said below, so she knows it and she just told you that, and yet you are still intrigued. Well, you knew it when you signed up, so that will be her handy excuse for anything she does to hurt you.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I'll tell you this right now.....stay away from "hot/cold" people. Their behavior is based on insecurities, and it doesn't improve over time. Run forest run!!!

  • Like 2
Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
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I would believe what she said about herself.

 

"Cold" does not feature on many people's wants list.

 

Is it on yours?

 

 

Take care.

  • Like 4
CommittedToThis Established Member

CommittedToThis

Posted
Posted
I would believe what she said about herself.

 

This is a huge red flag; I recently dated a woman and she flat-out told me, "I guess you could say I'm a psycho."

 

I took her at her word; there was no second date.

 

Always believe someone when they say stuff like this, especially if it's off-hand or somehow said in a joking fashion, perhaps in the middle of a serious discussion.

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whocares123 New Member

whocares123

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Well yes like I said, we were high as hell, me on acid and she on xtc, well explains a lot about her physical attitude but not her words.. Anyway, unfortunately i did send her a message, obviously with no reply since I did the same, but will try to talk with her when we meet again, only if her look invites me in otherwise I will just awkardly say hello from distance.

EveryWomanJ2911 Member

EveryWomanJ2911

Posted
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This sounds really confusing, you're right! What happened was random, exciting, crushing, and odd...to say the least. Ultimately though I wonder if she is really an option for you as she doesn't seem to have herself figured out, plus she makes decisions that hurt others without thinking about them first. Then she doesn't deal with the aftermath of her choices or take responsibility for them. She avoids confrontation, reconciliation, and real commitment. Its probably best to seek out a woman who has herself "together," and who has decided that she wants a real relationship. This party girl is probably a long ways away from being ready to make anyone but herself happy, and I'm not even sure that she knows how to do that right now.

 

If you want to be with a person who will be a good partner for you, its probably best that you up your standards for yourself. Attraction, while exhilarating, isn't the only factor for real happiness in the meaningful relationships in your life. Have you thought about what you are looking for in a mate? If not, now is a good time to really consider what qualities in a person are important to you and what values you esteem in a woman. And what do you bring to a relationship? What are your strengths and what areas could use some work in yourself? Its worth exploring these ideas before going forward, and it might make it easier to discover the right match for yourself in the future. Just thinking out loud here...

 

~Blessings and Peace Friend

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