taiko Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 Your biggest assumption and problem is a MOB s desperate to settle for a sub-standard US. Male. Is that a good start to marriage? I agree. It is the general prejudice that all foreign spouses face, that they will leave all for the first outsider, since there may never be another, who makes contact with them
Poe77 Posted December 25, 2016 Posted December 25, 2016 If you are so interested in Indian women why not actually spend some time in India? that way you will have a good start and foundation for understanding her culture more I dont know if you are already enlisted? but there are other options you could do some volunteer work over there or maybe they pay im not to sure but ide imagine there are organizations working over there as its still a 3rd world country I think.. Basically im saying since that interests you why not immerse yourself in it rather then just mail order a women who knows you might meet some one over there..On the down side do keep in mind that traveling to other countries over seas gets expensive.. and I wouldn't even want to think of the costs to get a good immigration attorney for her to immigrate back into the usa..but good luck anyways if that's what you truly want..also you will have to be able to support her and she will prob have to have some sort of skilled worker job lined up..
spanz1 Posted December 26, 2016 Posted December 26, 2016 (edited) too young. If you are 28 years old, have been seriously TRYING to find an indian bride, and have had no luck, THEN reconsider. SOOOOO many naive young men get a mail order bride, they stay married for the requisite number of years, then divorece the next day after the period of time they can take 50% of your money in a divorce. Knew a guy that that happened to! Also have heard of mail order brides wanting to bring over family members, and the husband later figuring out one of the "relative" now living in the house is her actual husband, and he can not get them to leave...becomes a prisoner in his own house. Are there not any indian social clubs, or religious oragnizaitons within driving distance of where you live? THAT is a way to find an indian bride without any strings attached...someone a reputable faimly that you know recommends. And if they recommend a woman who is already here in the US, then you do not have to worry about her not socializing in this country, OR marrying you just to get a green card. Edited December 26, 2016 by spanz1 2
Author mar96 Posted December 27, 2016 Author Posted December 27, 2016 (edited) too young. If you are 28 years old, have been seriously TRYING to find an indian bride, and have had no luck, THEN reconsider. SOOOOO many naive young men get a mail order bride, they stay married for the requisite number of years, then divorece the next day after the period of time they can take 50% of your money in a divorce. Knew a guy that that happened to! Also have heard of mail order brides wanting to bring over family members, and the husband later figuring out one of the "relative" now living in the house is her actual husband, and he can not get them to leave...becomes a prisoner in his own house. Are there not any indian social clubs, or religious oragnizaitons within driving distance of where you live? THAT is a way to find an indian bride without any strings attached...someone a reputable faimly that you know recommends. And if they recommend a woman who is already here in the US, then you do not have to worry about her not socializing in this country, OR marrying you just to get a green card. Finding local clubs or organizations seems more realistic than going to another country. How could I go about meeting people in these communities? It seems expensive either way for a wedding and indian parents would most likely want to have their daughter be with someone rich or something. Also, she wouldn't have any where to live if I'm in the military. Edited December 27, 2016 by mar96
CobraX Posted December 27, 2016 Posted December 27, 2016 Thanks I appreciate the answer! Wow, thats expensive!So Indian women may not be as open to this because they have a better economy and independent women? It's the cultural barriers that will kill you with Indian women. They are heavily controlled by their families and do not often marry outside their culture. My experience is that they come across as super racist at times. If you are of Indian descent you can probably do Ok, if not it will be hard to even find a girl. 1
Author mar96 Posted December 27, 2016 Author Posted December 27, 2016 It's the cultural barriers that will kill you with Indian women. They are heavily controlled by their families and do not often marry outside their culture. My experience is that they come across as super racist at times. If you are of Indian descent you can probably do Ok, if not it will be hard to even find a girl. Wow, thats unfortunate! I'm going to assume that as a black guy, there wouldn't be a point in even trying.
Hodor Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Wow, thats unfortunate! I'm going to assume that as a black guy, there wouldn't be a point in even trying. No, do not assume that. Even though it is true that families control most of the decisions in the girl's life, this trend is changing a bit and a lot of girls are doing as they please these days. Your biggest challenge will be sounding genuine. Many girls will think that you are only looking for a one night stand and are not serious. Such girls will not even give you their phone number. If you are willing to settle for a below average looking girl, from a lower middle income group, having a low service kind of job like data entry or telesales, then you will have a chance. Otherwise I think it will be very difficult, not impossible though. If you are really serious, then why not give it a try. Registering to matrimonial sites is free. You can even show interest and receive interest for free. But sending messages is where you will have to take a small premium service. But you can evaluate the pool a bit for free so just go for it. There is no harm in trying.
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 (edited) No, do not assume that. Even though it is true that families control most of the decisions in the girl's life, this trend is changing a bit and a lot of girls are doing as they please these days. Your biggest challenge will be sounding genuine. Many girls will think that you are only looking for a one night stand and are not serious. Such girls will not even give you their phone number. If you are willing to settle for a below average looking girl, from a lower middle income group, having a low service kind of job like data entry or telesales, then you will have a chance. Otherwise I think it will be very difficult, not impossible though. If you are really serious, then why not give it a try. Registering to matrimonial sites is free. You can even show interest and receive interest for free. But sending messages is where you will have to take a small premium service. But you can evaluate the pool a bit for free so just go for it. There is no harm in trying. Do you know any matrimonial sites indian women would be? Edited December 28, 2016 by mar96
Hodor Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Do you know any matrimonial sites indian women would be? Yes, if you read my first reply to you I mentioned the leading one. shaadi.com jeevansathi.com bharatmatrimony.com to name a few
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Yes, if you read my first reply to you I mentioned the leading one. shaadi.com jeevansathi.com bharatmatrimony.com to name a few But why a below average girl? What would you define as "below averge" picture wise, if you can post a picture? I find most indian women very stunning.
Hodor Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 But why a below average girl? What would you define as "below averge" picture wise, if you can post a picture? I find most indian women very stunning. Well, I wont post a pic because I am nobody to publicly judge a girl based on her looks. Moreover everybody has different taste in beauty. You have to understand something. Making a GF and finding bride are two completely different things in India. A guy in college may not find a single girl talking with him but once he finds a great job and is going places in life then the proposals for marriage starts pouring in. The girls he cant get in his dreams will now want to marry him. Being in IT industry I see this pretty often. Now, an above average looking girl will not have too many problems finding a guy in India. There are a lot of high salaried young people here who are looking for arranged marriage and they will snatch the good ones in the pool. Many good looking ones don't even make it to the matrimonial sites. Relatives are more than capable of finding match for them. Like I said, have a search on the matrimonial website. See what kind of girls are available. There are alot of profiles of Indian girls living in USA. Let me know if you want to know anything else.
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Well, I wont post a pic because I am nobody to publicly judge a girl based on her looks. Moreover everybody has different taste in beauty. You have to understand something. Making a GF and finding bride are two completely different things in India. A guy in college may not find a single girl talking with him but once he finds a great job and is going places in life then the proposals for marriage starts pouring in. The girls he cant get in his dreams will now want to marry him. Being in IT industry I see this pretty often. Now, an above average looking girl will not have too many problems finding a guy in India. There are a lot of high salaried young people here who are looking for arranged marriage and they will snatch the good ones in the pool. Many good looking ones don't even make it to the matrimonial sites. Relatives are more than capable of finding match for them. Like I said, have a search on the matrimonial website. See what kind of girls are available. There are alot of profiles of Indian girls living in USA. Let me know if you want to know anything else. I understand, but men are more accurate and are "experts" when judging a girl on her looks. A beautiful girl to you is more than likely beautiful to me and vice versa. I don't mind you judging at all. Its not bad or anything I just want an idea of how below average would look like.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 So you want to get a bride so that when you join the military you'll be able to have housing?
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 So you want to get a bride so that when you join the military you'll be able to have housing? I meant that being in the military would allow me to do this at a younger age because I would have somewhere to live with her.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I meant that being in the military would allow me to do this at a younger age because I would have somewhere to live with her. I'm still not understanding what you mean. Does it matter if you love the person you marry or if she loves you or do you just only care that you have someplace to live so you'll do all of that so the military will give you a house?
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 I'm still not understanding what you mean. Does it matter if you love the person you marry or if she loves you or do you just only care that you have someplace to live so you'll do all of that so the military will give you a house? Yes it matters that I love the person and they love me and not the latter.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Yes it matters that I love the person and they love me and not the latter. Oh. Then the answer is no.....don't pursue a mail order bride.
MJJean Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I'm still not understanding what you mean. Does it matter if you love the person you marry or if she loves you or do you just only care that you have someplace to live so you'll do all of that so the military will give you a house? I believe what OP is saying is that the his military service entitles him to some benefits, such as excellent health insurance and housing, so that he is in a position to marry younger than some because he will be able to provide for a wife and children. Prospective suitors need to show they can provide for a family or they won't be seriously considered by the girl or her family.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I believe what OP is saying is that the his military service entitles him to some benefits, such as excellent health insurance and housing, so that he is in a position to marry younger than some because he will be able to provide for a wife and children. Prospective suitors need to show they can provide for a family or they won't be seriously considered by the girl or her family. That's not him providing though. That's the government providing.
GunslingerRoland Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 That's not him providing though. That's the government providing. That is an odd way of looking at it. Yes I guess technically no one who is working is providing for their family, it is the company that hey work for that provides for their family Whether it's the government or a private company. But it's still as a result of the person working. You are making it sound like working for the military is equivalent to being on welfare.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 You are making it sound like working for the military is equivalent to being on welfare. No I'm not. He isn't even in the military yet and is making it seem like he only is joining to get perks out of it. Like he wants a wife he didn't have to work for either. That's very different than the people that I know. They actually served. Not the other way around.
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 (edited) No I'm not. He isn't even in the military yet and is making it seem like he only is joining to get perks out of it. Like he wants a wife he didn't have to work for either. That's very different than the people that I know. They actually served. Not the other way around. why do you seem triggered? I have other reasons for joining and its not the perks at all. I didn't even know anything about mail order brides until very recently. Edited December 28, 2016 by mar96
taiko Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 But why a below average girl? What would you define as "below averge" picture wise, if you can post a picture? I find most indian women very stunning. There is a wide range. What are you expecting the star of Quantico, the female lead of Royal Pains, a Mindy Kaling. ..?
Author mar96 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 There is a wide range. What are you expecting the star of Quantico, the female lead of Royal Pains, a Mindy Kaling. ..? lol something like that or Lily Singh . But I've never really seen a below average indian woman to be honest.
GunslingerRoland Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 lol something like that or Lily Singh . But I've never really seen a below average indian woman to be honest. There are lots of them out there... especially compared to the women just mentioned. 2
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