bc72fgbjbc Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 I started dating a girl not really long ago, maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago. She lives in an other town (20 minutes by car) and we don't have cars so we take the bus, it's a bit longer. We've been on 5 dates, all of them were good times, but because of the distance we have to talk a lot by texts. At the beginning it was okay, but since last weekend the texting thing became more complicated. She started taking more time to answer and seeming less interested and involved in our conversations. Some times I lost patience and got a bit mad, but no serious event happened. After a few days like this, I decided to ask her where this is going and if she is still interested in dating me. She answered that she's interested but she doesn't know if it's gonna work. I repplied that we should at least try so we won't have regrets. I don't really know what is going on. She said that it is not over but that our relationship is "weird". We're supposed to see each other tomorrow and talk about that. I don't know what to expect. 1
winny Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Why dont you just have fun instead of worrying where this is going?
Satu Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Texting is something that can cause problems. Some people don't like it much. I'm one of them. When you meet her, listen more than you speak. Take care. 1
LargoLagg Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 I started dating a girl not really long ago, maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago. She lives in an other town (20 minutes by car) and we don't have cars so we take the bus, it's a bit longer. We've been on 5 dates, all of them were good times, but because of the distance we have to talk a lot by texts. At the beginning it was okay, but since last weekend the texting thing became more complicated. She started taking more time to answer and seeming less interested and involved in our conversations. Some times I lost patience and got a bit mad, but no serious event happened. After a few days like this, I decided to ask her where this is going and if she is still interested in dating me. She answered that she's interested but she doesn't know if it's gonna work. I repplied that we should at least try so we won't have regrets. I don't really know what is going on. She said that it is not over but that our relationship is "weird". We're supposed to see each other tomorrow and talk about that. I don't know what to expect.She's all like DUDE! I love it when you take me on a date to a nice restaurant and we have to go by bus! There's nothing wrong with our relationship! I just can't see you Friday or Saturday nights anymore! Look, there's nothing wrong with not having a lot of money to burn, or a car, or a lot of dating money. It doesn't make you a second class citizen. OK? So keep that straight in your head. However, it does make you much less desirable in the dating world. Imagine if you could pick her up in a shiny new Prius, or whatever it is that people your age drive. You are at what people call a "competitive disadvantage." If that isn't the issue now, it will be soon enough. One way or another, "weird" is not the word you want your girl using to describe your relationship. It does not bode well for you. Go in to that meeting head held high and strong. You with me?
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 She's all like DUDE! I love it when you take me on a date to a nice restaurant and we have to go by bus! There's nothing wrong with our relationship! I just can't see you Friday or Saturday nights anymore! Look, there's nothing wrong with not having a lot of money to burn, or a car, or a lot of dating money. It doesn't make you a second class citizen. OK? So keep that straight in your head. However, it does make you much less desirable in the dating world. Imagine if you could pick her up in a shiny new Prius, or whatever it is that people your age drive. You are at what people call a "competitive disadvantage." If that isn't the issue now, it will be soon enough. One way or another, "weird" is not the word you want your girl using to describe your relationship. It does not bode well for you. Go in to that meeting head held high and strong. You with me? Sorry mate I should have clarified that I'm 18 and she's 17 so I think it's okay to not have all these things.
LargoLagg Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Sorry mate I should have clarified that I'm 18 and she's 17 so I think it's okay to not have all these things.It's almost ALWAYS ok not to have these things. You're always going to not have something, better get used to that. But it isn't unusual for someone your age to have that either, is it? It's not like you're 7 and 8. I had a car when I was 15. It wasn't much of a car, but we could bang in the backseat in private, and that was never going to happen on a bus. Maybe she met Richie Rich, and he's got use of his mom's minivan. Who knows? But whether having wheels is normal in your circles or not, I go back to the word "weird". Something is going on there. She's building up to the big disclosure. If I were you, knowing what I know now, I'd have a short speech ready for when/if she dumps you... something like "Well, if that's the way you want it. Listen, I'm going to need a little time to catch up to you. In the mean time, while I do my catching up, I'd appreciate it if you would give me space, just don't contact me. When I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know. Until then, just let me be. OK. Nice talk. Goodbye." Always go into a "talk" ready for anything.
Sweetfish Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 I started dating a girl not really long ago, maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago. She lives in an other town (20 minutes by car) and we don't have cars so we take the bus, it's a bit longer. We've been on 5 dates, all of them were good times, but because of the distance we have to talk a lot by texts. At the beginning it was okay, but since last weekend the texting thing became more complicated. She started taking more time to answer and seeming less interested and involved in our conversations. Some times I lost patience and got a bit mad, but no serious event happened. After a few days like this, I decided to ask her where this is going and if she is still interested in dating me. She answered that she's interested but she doesn't know if it's gonna work. I repplied that we should at least try so we won't have regrets. I don't really know what is going on. She said that it is not over but that our relationship is "weird". We're supposed to see each other tomorrow and talk about that. I don't know what to expect. Your showing her signs of weakness and insecurity and on top of that the added stress of a lengthy bus ride. This game is over. When you say dating and not BF and GF and its been a month. She is not "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" over you. So be prepared for the for the axe. You asking for more is delaying the pain. 1
Viking Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 I'm sorry, but I'll be blunt. You're 18...there is so much more to life out there. Have fun, but don't expect this to end at the wedding chapel. You're teenagers. Being a teenager back in the 1890s meant you got married and had kids because you might die if the black lung at age 25 or some industrial accident where you're cleaved in half at work. Nowadays, you're likely to part ways because of college, job opportunities, etc. I'm trying to be a realist here. If I could do it again, I'd skip long term relationships until I was at least 25, and until then, if it wanted to screw, I'd be all over it. Don't ask where the relationship is going until you've been together at least a few months to a year, and not until you're in your 20s. It's not going anywhere while your date is still a minor. 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Your showing her signs of weakness and insecurity and on top of that the added stress of a lengthy bus ride. This game is over. When you say dating and not BF and GF and its been a month. She is not "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" over you. So be prepared for the for the axe. You asking for more is delaying the pain. What are these signs and what do you think I should do about this in future relationships? Thanks I think it will help me
Sweetfish Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 What are these signs and what do you think I should do about this in future relationships? Thanks I think it will help me That's a tall order.. you should check out some threads in the breakup section to start.
phineas Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 never ask a woman where it is going unless you have another woman who has already told you where she wants things to go and you need to make a decision. it's up to the woman to ask that. You turned her off by asking. I had a job so i could pay for a car by 16. it was a POS for sure but women don't care about that at their age as long as it's mostly one color (rustoleum spray paint) and doesn't smell like a garbage dump (no energy drink empties and fast food wrappers covering the floore). I live in the country so you need a car since everyone is spread out. if you live in the city then i suppose a car is a luxury.
winny Posted December 20, 2016 Posted December 20, 2016 it's up to the woman to ask that. You turned her off by asking. Ha ha really? why so? I agree he may have turned her off by asking that and being mad and impatient but why should a women only ask this question?
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