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How do I tell my boyfriend to stop cuddling me nonstop

rubia73

By rubia73
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rubia73 Member

rubia73

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I love my boyfriend, he is awesome but I can't sleep while being cuddled! (by anyone, not just by him. I love space when I sleep, I sprawl out) I need a good nights sleep to function, and he loves to cuddle and he can sleep comfortably in any position. He falls asleep immediately cuddling me, while I lay awake... feeling so hot...smothered like a burrito wrapped too tight struggling to escape the shackles of love's warm embrace. :bunny:

 

It took him a long time to be able to show affection. The fact he is so affectionate and cuddly is adorable- most of the time, but NOT when I am trying to sleep. I don't want to hurt his feelings. How can I tell him that I need personal space while sleeping, without making him feel bad? I'm afraid if I tell him to back off while sleeping it will make him less affectionate during the day.

  • Like 1
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
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"I love you and I love the way you snuggle with me. But I need space to sleep"

  • Like 4
gorf Established Member

gorf

Posted
Posted
I love my boyfriend, he is awesome but I can't sleep while being cuddled! (by anyone, not just by him. I love space when I sleep, I sprawl out) I need a good nights sleep to function, and he loves to cuddle and he can sleep comfortably in any position. He falls asleep immediately cuddling me, while I lay awake... feeling so hot...smothered like a burrito wrapped too tight struggling to escape the shackles of love's warm embrace. :bunny:

 

It took him a long time to be able to show affection. The fact he is so affectionate and cuddly is adorable- most of the time, but NOT when I am trying to sleep. I don't want to hurt his feelings. How can I tell him that I need personal space while sleeping, without making him feel bad? I'm afraid if I tell him to back off while sleeping it will make him less affectionate during the day.

 

Well I can say, when talking about needing space, and specifically talking about a bed that the two of you are sharing (kinda the definition of a couple sharing personal space) I would not use the word "personal" space when describing the bed, ever. Thats the advice I can give on your issue right now

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anna121 Established Member

anna121

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Just preface it with how much you love him and adore feeling his arms around you. Just not when you're sleeping.

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Communication is important, especially about preferences, expectations, boundaries, etc....my gosh he is not a mind reader...just say it "I like to cuddle, but not when I am trying to get some sleep."

  • Like 2
RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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Yep - talk to him. I am like your BF, and you are like my husband.

 

Would I love to smother him all night? Yes! But he has made it clear he needs space to sleep well so I give it to him.

 

And we compromise, he will cuddle with me until I fall asleep (I am quick like your bf) and then he is off to his side. If your bf falls asleep quickly and sleeps soundly, you can probably move him without him even noticing.

 

And we have a joke - he teases me by calling me a "pester monkey" it's a gentle reminder that I am up in his space too much.

  • Like 1
gulfball Member

gulfball

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Have him fall asleep with his arms wrapped around a pillow. If he has to touch you, tell him that he can put one hand on your waist or your shoulder! I will warn you though that telling him that his cuddling makes you uncomfortable might hurt his feelings. I've been told things like this before and it always comes as a shock. Try to approach it as nicely and playfully as possible!

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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As relationship problems go, this isn't a bad one to have...

 

Just tell him what you've told us.

 

 

Take care.

  • Like 2
LargoLagg Established Member

LargoLagg

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Believe it or not, this is a communication problem that YOU have. You don't trust him enough to take bad news from you.

 

The longer it goes on, the more likely you're going to have to say something unpleasant. This is pretty mild as far as that goes.

 

Grow a pair. Tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel. The first paragraph of your post is plenty fine. Every reader here got it. So will he.

 

Let's just hope your worst fears are not realized, and he goes off to pout in the corner of the bed. I trust that he won't react negatively in any way. But if he does, you've learned something important about him.

  • Like 2
Sweetfish Established Member

Sweetfish

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Posted
Believe it or not, this is a communication problem that YOU have. You don't trust him enough to take bad news from you.

 

The longer it goes on, the more likely you're going to have to say something unpleasant. This is pretty mild as far as that goes.

 

Grow a pair. Tell your boyfriend exactly how you feel. The first paragraph of your post is plenty fine. Every reader here got it. So will he.

 

Let's just hope your worst fears are not realized, and he goes off to pout in the corner of the bed. I trust that he won't react negatively in any way. But if he does, you've learned something important about him.

 

Uh... I think she just scared that she probably got him to be affectionate and now she doesn't want to cuddle at night.

 

So she is trying to find a proper way of conveying she loves the affection without confusing him about the cuddling.

 

Next thing you know "new thread" my girlfriend doesn't want to cuddle anymore is she cheating"

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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Shoot, I'd love to have this problem.

Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

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My ex and I slept in the nude. Snuggly was an awesome thing to do as we wound down, but when it was time to sleep, I needed my space. I believe this was something I, we communicated from the very first time we started sleeping together. This is a simple communication issue. No harm, no foul.

LargoLagg Established Member

LargoLagg

Posted
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Uh... I think she just scared that she probably got him to be affectionate and now she doesn't want to cuddle at night.

 

So she is trying to find a proper way of conveying she loves the affection without confusing him about the cuddling.

 

Next thing you know "new thread" my girlfriend doesn't want to cuddle anymore is she cheating"

Right, and in the final analysis, who'd want to be with someone like that? She's afraid he really is like that, which was my point.

 

With all due respect to Dr. ReplyinRhymes:

 

Only one way to find out.

Hit him right between the eyes.

You have to figure out

If he laughs or he cries.

  • Like 1
Els Established Member

Els

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He falls asleep immediately? Easy solution - just roll over after he's done with the cuddling!

Shanex Established Member

Shanex

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I was going to suggest you put some zopiclone in his last glass before you guys hit the sack, and I assure you he won't bother you all night.

 

Serious answer: just tell him. Though it's not wrong to wake up or even sleep arms in arms (hardly convenient)

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
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Look, you just tell him. I've had guys tell me before and it didn't make me run crying into the night. You tell him, You're a great cuddler, but I can't sleep like that. Tell him, I'm like a guy: I love cuddling before sex or in front of the tv, but not when I'm trying to sleep.

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