MisterRoySpike Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 There's this girl I've known for about a year, co-worker and a college student. Different department, but there's just enough overlap in our schedules so that we have a fairly decent chance of seeing each other in the breakroom at least once. She initially introduced herself to me, and was real talkative and friendly, then a few months later, she seemed to have changed and would not talk to me (well, she would not approach me or initiate contact with me). I didn't say anything to her, either, but that was because I was afraid that something I did (or didn't do) upset her and I didn't want to make things worse. Eventually I did make an extra effort to talk to her again, and she again became the friendly, greets me by name type. I put up the effort to actually talk to her instead of trying to wait for her to do it. It's rare that we get the breakroom to ourselves, but when we do, we can have long talks about things we like, and she shows me some things she's drawn online. She's a lot younger than me. I was in high school when she was born. Some women don't care about the age difference (and they tell me I shouldn't either), some are creeped out by it. I have no idea what category she falls under. The age difference does make me a bit nervous, but something about her makes me willing to step out of my comfort zone. There's also the issue of me being widowed for almost 9 months. She knows this, it might make her leery. It's not unheard of for a widower to be recovered enough to try again after 6 months (no two of us are alike), but most people generalize the recovery time as between "several years" and "never." Conversely, I don't even know if she's going out with anyone. Most girls I've talked to for this long reveal a significant other or some indication of what her taste in men is (these girls eventually mention a boyfriend, all thoughts of asking them out immediately leave my head, and I end up feeling relieved that I don't have to work up the courage to ask them out, this isn't happening with her, though). She's kept that info pretty close to the vest. I've read a couple poems on her blog that suggest she might be a little lonely, but I can't picture her having any problems attracting men (This from a tech school graduate who has never experienced university life and has an impression of it that is probably 20 years out of date). My odds are probably not good, one of the first things she ever said to me was that she had a "nice to everybody" personality and she strikes me as a smart confident young woman who could have any man she wants and would therefore have no reason be afraid to ask out a shy reserved guy if she did actually like him. But for me, the unknown is always worse. I need to find a way to test the waters, to definitively find out if she likes me or if she's "just nice to everybody" and I need to do it in a way that won't alienate her if it is the latter.
TheTraveler Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 So much time and energy spent on someone for at least a year. I am always amazed that people do this and come to loveshack and post this. Ask her out. Life is really as simple as this
Author MisterRoySpike Posted February 6, 2017 Author Posted February 6, 2017 Update: I asked her if she would be for doing something outside work, and she said that since this was her last semester of college and her studies were keeping her busy, but that she would check her schedule and get back to me if something opens. I at first thought she may have been being polite just to spare my feelings, but this felt different, there was a kindof a "don't leave town" vibe to it. Guy friends seemed convinced that she was blowing me off, women tended to tell me that they do have to make sure their houses are in order first, and to keep talking with her and see if her behavior changes. So the next day, we had a long spirited conversation about our favorite anime and our favorite drinks, and gave me the impression that she didn't have a boyfriend. A few days later, she caught me leaving work, and we briefly talked, I may have misread some body language, but she seemed to have perked up. Then she got sick. She had to miss work for a week. I only found out because her mother (also a co-worker) told me. When she returned, she changed. She's barely talked to me (just saying "hi" to me coming in), and today, it almost seemed like she was trying to avoid contact with me (while the mother, ironically, was making renewed effort to talk to me). So at the end of my shift, she went into the breakroom in the middle of phone call, and when she saw me there (among others) she retreated into our computer lab. As I walked away, I could barely make out her saying "this is about my future." So now I'm kindof worried about what upset her and how much time I need to give her before I start talking to her again.
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