JaeJae Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 Hi Everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read this and offering your help. I met a woman online 2 years ago and she stated on her profile that she was looking for something casual/NSA. At the time, I was also looking for the same and we agreed to meet up. First date, there was no sex, just getting to know one another. Second date, we had dinner and had sex, but during dinner she told me she's a single mom. After that second date, I did a lot of soul searching and realized that if she and I continued to hang out on a NSA basis, then I would get attached emotionally because we had great chemistry. Also, I didn't know how I would feel potentially dating a single mom. I told her all of this and was honest with her by saying it's best we end it because I would get attached and that's not what she was looking for. She said she understood and didn't seem upset. Fast forward to this year. I reached out to her out of the blue and surprisingly she replied. She was skeptical of my intentions and asked why I contacted her. I told her I regretted how I ended things 2 years ago and wanted to see if we can build a friendship. She said she thought it was ****ty how I ended things, but she was still willing to meet up. This year, we have hung out 5 times over the span of several months and have had sex. We haven't labeled our "relationship", but she does ask if my friends know that I'm hanging out with her and if they know about how we met. I told her they all know the backstory. She's not very responsive when I text her. In fact, couple of weeks ago, she would only send 1 reply a day and I took this as her not being interested anymore. I know she's busy at work (she's a doctor), but I figure it takes a minute tops to send a text. I stopped contacting her for a few days and she texted me saying "hey stranger". She claims she felt bad for being absent and said she was afraid to text me thinking I was mad/frustrated with her. I told her I didn't feel either of those, but instead thought she lost interest. At this point, it was almost a month since we last saw each other. We finally set up another date and our most recent date was last Friday. It was a bit awkward because we finally somewhat talked about what we are. I told her I was not interested in something casual, but she didn't say anything to that. She said the last guy she dated didn't like how she wanted to be sexually monogamous. I told her I have no problem being monogamous, but she said to me that I was free to sleep with other women. I told her I had no interest in that. I opened up and told her how I felt she's very guarded and that her guarded demeanor makes me unsure of how to act around her. I told her it seemed like she didn't want me to get attached and that there were unspoken boundaries. I was trying to get her to talk more about this, but she didn't seem interested. I know she can be shy and reserved, so maybe it was that. I was getting frustrated and at the end of the night, we hugged and I told her if she's interested in hanging out again to let me know. That was last Friday and I didn't hear from her. I sent her a text last night but she hasn't replied back. Should I continue to be persistent with her or does it sound like I scared her off? Or maybe she was never interested in something beyond a casual friendship with me? I don't know what to do since I do like her and want to at the very least see if she's open to dating. Apologies for the lengthy post.
Gaeta Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 She was only interested in casual with you back then and now as well. There is no point sticking around she will not change her mind about you and you'll only delay meeting someone really worth your time. When a woman tells a man he can sleep with other women it's because she is not interested in him and she is dead sure she will never be interested in him for more than sex once in a while. 2
kendahke Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 She's guarded because of how you ended things--why would she want to subject herself to the same treatment again by you? I dont' think she should have returned your second intrusion, considering she's still a single mom, she's still great and she's still someone you may end up being attracted to then thrown over because... ...whatever. Leave her be.
bachdude Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 She either isn't a good communicator or she feels she doesn't owe you any access to her thoughts. Personally it would drive me batty.
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