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Five dates, no conversation yet [UPDATE Am I being too nice?]

Nadine123

By Nadine123
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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requiem1 Member

requiem1

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I was thinking maybe he was trying to be "cute" by imitating your accent, but he's clearly taking it too far. I would let him go immediately.

RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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Disrespectful, negging, and not okay.

 

If you clearly expressed to him that you didn't appreciate his behavior, and he continues to do it, it shows that he either has no respect for you, or the self control of a toddler. Both are a no go.

 

I can't imagine having a BF that you weren't excited every time you saw it was him calling - this got so bad you didn't want to take his calls? Should have dumped him a while ago.

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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Sounds like he's immature (doesn't matter that he is 29). And then embarrassed by being called out and holds his ground and tries to flip it on you (for being uptight or overly sensitive or something). He may not even really mean it to be cruel or put you down since you said he treats you well otherwise. However, since you've spoken to him several times about it, it seems you two are at an impasse. Some people are meant to be in our lives forever and some just for a short period of time. Maybe he's the second kind. Definitely my opinion is that time away from the relationship would be the best way to resolve this. He will come back grown up with new patterns, etc and try when he's up to treating you well all around, including on this issue or you both will get a chance to do other things. Date other people. Good luck

winny Established Member

winny

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Sounds like an immature and insecure guy.

CommittedToThis Established Member

CommittedToThis

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I wouldn't tolerate it at this point, it's disrespectful, period.

 

Disrespect = Red Flag Number One.

 

If OP decides to break things off I hope it's done in a tone mocking his vocal style.

 

Why do things like this come up in otherwise promising relationships? :mad:

 

Sorry this had to happen, OP, I hope the guy realizes this is about to cost him the game. Trust me, disrespect tends to worsen over time, not the other way 'round. He should know better.

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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thanks for all the responses, you are all the best! xx

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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Hi everyone

 

I've been seeing this guy for a while now. He's a really nice guy but there are some points I noticed that were red flags to me.

 

1) He didn't tell his best friend we were dating. The guy was really surprised when I told him which was a bit embarrassing for me.

2) He used to make fun of the way I speak but I told him to stop it and he did.

3) He can be a bit rude to me sometimes. I know many people here might not agree with this but Ive decided to not be sexually active until marriage. He knows that but he keeps on making sexual jokes like call me if you want someone to hook up with tonight or what lingerie are you wearing which I find to be really pushy.

4) He doesnt really care about what I do. Im a travel blogger and he doesnt seem to be interested in my page or videos. He actually brushes it off when i asked him to watch my videos once.

 

I ended things with him yesterday but he called me over 20 times (not joking) and msged me over 15 times. I ended up picking at night and he apologized alot and said he will never do anything. Ps. he already apologized before but didnt really change but the way he freaked out made me feel like he really cares. what do you all think?

OnlyHonesty Established Member

OnlyHonesty

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Your ego is clouding your judgement. Him calling you 20 times and freaking out has massaged it.

 

This guy is not a positive force of energy and will not bring anything of real value in a relationship. This leaves me with questions about your self worth. This is a new year and the perfect time NOT to invite bad energy into your life, why would you even consider?

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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My self worth is perfectly fine. If it wasnt I wouldnt have recognized that there is a problem with the way he is treating me and I should do something about it.

 

Him calling you 20 times and freaking out has massaged it.

 

I dno what that means can you please explain more :)

Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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He means you feel flattered that this guy went overboard in trying to get a hold of you after you ended things.

 

Reading your other thread, I'm not sure this is actually a "nice" guy. Either way, it doesn't sound like you two jive all that well.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Don't let him make this decision. You make the decision. If you break up and he doesn't respect it, well, it's just one more in a long list of unsavory things you've mentioned you don't like in him so far. Tell him, I appreciate your apology, but we are just NOT right for each other.

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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@blanco thanks for your reply. Actually I wasnt flattered at all I was just sad that he was this upset. I dont like anyone being this upset. He wanted to meet up today and I told him no.

 

@pepraph I think I will msg him this now. Thank you

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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I just texted him telling him its over and to please respect my decision nd he's already called me a million times. This is really stressing me out!!!!

marky00 Established Member

marky00

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Nadine all this extra stuff is white noise.

 

 

What it comes down to is who is the one that is invested the most?

 

 

Just because someone dumps someone doesn't make them the "real" dumper if they are the more invested.

 

 

When you have been posting, I have kind of felt you were the one that was more invested. That's my take of the situation. You even said yourself his best friend didn't even know you were dating.

 

 

I think what has happened here he has freaked out due to his ego. Guys are notorious for going crazy when their ego is smashed.

 

 

But in time, the one who is more invested will be revealed.

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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Oh well, doesnt matter now since its over. Im so proud of myself that I recognized the red flags and ended something that is beyond my boundaries.

 

Have a great day everyone! :)

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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Hi everyone

 

So after my last horrible relationship where I was ghosted, I met this guy six months after and we started dating. Things were going well in the beginning but then I noticed many things that were major red flags (I posted previously about them so need to repeat myself.)

 

I ended it, he went ballistic and called me a million times. I ignored him then it was getting bad to the point where I texted him and told him to please leave me alone. he texted me with ''I'm not even upset by the way''. I found this to be very immature and texted him back telling him no worries, I wish you the best and take care.

 

His best friend called me the next day (he introduced us) and asked me why we cant be friends and that he also doesnt want to be friends with me. I was surprised he's telling his best friend this since he was blowing my phone up but whatever.

 

Fast forward 4 days later and I miss him a bit. Maybe it's because Im lonely here and dont have any friends, I dno.

 

what do you all think about this? :)

marky00 Established Member

marky00

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totally understandable.

 

 

You broke with someone who by your own admission still had feelings for.

 

 

Breakups don't fix or wipe out emotions. The act of breaking up is a logical thing, but emotions are emotions.

 

 

I had a feeling this guy might be the prideful type based on the info you provided in your last post. Since he has now stopped blowing up your phone, that is probably what is affecting you a little.

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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No not at all :) It was actually bothering me lol which is why I texted him to stop.

 

I think I just miss the company since I dno anyone here but atleast I know I did the right thing.

marky00 Established Member

marky00

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No not at all :) It was actually bothering me lol which is why I texted him to stop.

 

I think I just miss the company since I dno anyone here but atleast I know I did the right thing.

 

No, by bothering I meant, affecting your ego a bit.

 

 

A dumper always feels initially relieved but over time as the dumpee stays strong with NC, the power tends to shift a little.

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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Nah not really, Im glad hes not calling and texting anymore because it was really getting on my nerves.

 

It's more of feeling lonely I guess since I literally dont know a soul here except his best friend.

marky00 Established Member

marky00

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Nah not really, Im glad hes not calling and texting anymore because it was really getting on my nerves.

 

It's more of feeling lonely I guess since I literally dont know a soul here except his best friend.

 

Alright, I guess you have your answer then.

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Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

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Having my answer doesnt mean I cant post here and speak about it.

 

You posted here a million times about your ex. You had you answer but still wanted to talk about it :)

marky00 Established Member

marky00

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Very true.

 

 

I guess that was my point.

 

 

Talking about it got you to a better place.

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BlkVelvet Established Member

BlkVelvet

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Having my answer doesnt mean I cant post here and speak about it.

 

You posted here a million times about your ex. You had you answer but still wanted to talk about it :)

 

 

You asked what people thought. Someone answered your question. Why are you upset?

 

If you're "happy" your ex has left you alone, what feedback do you actually want? I'm confused.

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