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This guy must think I'm stupid?! (online personals rant)

shygurl

By shygurl
in General Relationship Discussion

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shygurl Established Member

shygurl

Posted
Posted

Hello peeps,

 

So a few days ago, I'm on a popular online dating site and I read a local guy's profile that's somewhat interesting....so I drop him a quick line, say hello, invite him to have a look @ mine and drop me a line back if he wishes.

 

Not too long after this, he writes me. It's a very very longwinded letter, tells me he's a teacher, bla bla bla.....FINALLY close to the end of it, he admits he's met someone on the site that he's been communicating with for a fair bit of time and he wants to "see where it will go."

 

So I write him back, thank him for being honest and genuinely wish him and her luck.

 

He writes back, another longwinded ditty - about how they haven't yet met in person so he's just going to see how it goes with her. Suggests, however, that if I'm interested, he and I could continue to communicate.

 

I write him back thanking him for his offer but I see no point in continuing to communicate with him if he's pursuing someone else, doesn't seem "right" to me - something I wouldn't appreciate if I were in this gal's shoes. ** I ask him though, why - if she and him have been communicating for "some time" - have they not yet met in person? - does she live longdistance or what? (just sounds odd to me).

 

He writes back, says he respects my wish to not communicate while he's seeing how things go with this woman ...and mentions that the only reason he's not yet met her is that she travels a lot for work and that her she's got company and he's giving her her "space", doesn't want to pressure her.

 

Considering he told me he was "new" to this method of meeting someone, just to be helpful I thought I'd mention to him that he needs to be careful about women who make too many excuses about meeting in person - that that can often be a "red flag" that they're still involved with someone, have something to hide, are playing games, etc.

 

He writes back and says he'll keep this in mind, thanks me for the tip - and basically says that if things don't work with her, he'll drop me a line (LOL - wow, I feel special!) - of course having to point out that based on my profile pic, he finds me very sexy. (yeah yeah, whatever).

 

So that was several days ago.

 

Today I get a letter from him through this dating site. It took me a minute to figure out WHO it was from because it indicated that the person writing, their profile was no longer there. I figured out from his letter that it was him.

 

He tells me that this woman - well, she's just recently separated and he suspects she's dealing with some issues as a result of this and he's just going to give her some space to sort herself out........goes on to say "I have her best interests at heart" (wow, what a guy!!!)

 

He then, very friendly-like (but not in a piggish way) suggests that if I'm interested, we get together for a drink, play darts, meet for a coffee, etc.

 

He then writes me a second time stating he has no idea what happened to his profile (uh huh) and that he's going to create a "new one" and try to include some new pics. Refers to me as "Ms Sexy" (which I find somewhat lame for a man who's 35)

 

My first thought is...........the guy's a liar. He's removed his profile because he's actually SEEING this woman but doesn't want her to know that he's still surfing/looking - so now he'll create a NEW Profile that she won't know is his.

 

Me figures he's figuring he'll see me on the side while still seeing her (though pretending he's not). What the hell does this dude figure, that I'm so hard up and desperate that I'll be interested in being pals while he's supposedly waiting for the other gal to get her head together?

 

I haven't responded (he's left me his email address) because I'm trying to think of something fitting to say (if I even feel like responding).

 

How would you interpret this all? P L A Y E R ?

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by shygurl

How would you interpret this all?

looking for love on the internet is mostly a waste of time :)

Rosalind Established Member

Rosalind

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by shygurl

How would you interpret this all? P L A Y E R ?

Yep.

 

LOL @ "Ms Sexy" :rolleyes: ...I don't mean to imply your are not, it just sounds so stupid, ya know?

Marshbear Established Member

Marshbear

Posted
Posted

Just a horny dude who thinks you might be gullible to fall for his "see through" tactics. He's not even smooth with his game. I think you have nailed his intentions and I wouldn't respond to his message. Why bother? He really isn't even a good player as they would have never told you of another g/f and would make you feel like you are the only one for them.

A Fly onThe Wall Established Member

A Fly onThe Wall

Posted
Posted

He hid his profile because he had to to date her...

YES he is being a player..

 

Do a role reversal and put yourself in his shoes for the story he just told you. How would it have played out .. I'll bet not the way he is playing it with you

 

 

 

Red Flag ... Bing Bing Bing Bing

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shygurl Established Member

shygurl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by Rosalind

Yep.

 

LOL @ "Ms Sexy" :rolleyes: ...I don't mean to imply your are not, it just sounds so stupid, ya know?

 

It does sound stupid - almost like he thinks I'm so easily swept off my feet that I'll just get all giddy and flattered because he calls me this - little does he know but it takes a helluva lot more than some cheesy compliment to impress me. LOL

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shygurl Established Member

shygurl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

He hid his profile because he had to to date her...

YES he is being a player..

 

Do a role reversal and put yourself in his shoes for the story he just told you. How would it have played out .. I'll bet not the way he is playing it with you

 

 

 

Red Flag ... Bing Bing Bing Bing

 

I suspected he was a player, trust me - but on the other hand, I DO know that I'm a pretty analytical person and I admittedly write-off 98% of the dingalings on these online personals but sometimes wonder if maybe I'm too analytical/skeptical/cynical - which is why I posted this here.

 

I won't be responding to him, believe me - he must think I just got off the short bus.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by shygurl

It does sound stupid - almost like he thinks I'm so easily swept off my feet that I'll just get all giddy and flattered because he calls me this

you're letting some dude you don't know or ever met get you all in a tizzy? :)

Marshbear Established Member

Marshbear

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by alphamale

you're letting some dude you don't know or ever met get you all in a tizzy? :)

 

I thought so to Alpha... No offense Shygurl :bunny:

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shygurl Established Member

shygurl

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by Marshbear

I thought so to Alpha... No offense Shygurl :bunny:

 

What on earth have I written that's caused anything to think I'm in a tizzy? Geez, I just asked a simple question - like about 3,459 other people do here on a regular basis. LMAO!

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted

He isn't worth your time.

 

Always go with your gut! Doesn't feel right and you get weird vibes - Then don't do a follow up.

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