LucaChickaD Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 Been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now it's a good relationship. He has 3 friends and their girlfriends from childhood that he hangs out with frequently and that I've started hanging out with. One of his friends has made repeated rude comments to my face each time I've hung out with him. Examples of this include oh I'm glad you're here cuz you're so bad at this game and don't you know anything? (In response to not knowing several answers in a row to trivia questions ) dont listen to her because shes so drunk. ( I wasn't reallyl). It's also the way he has said these things. Now, I understand guys do this to each other, rag on each other and that's how they are. I don't have a problem with that. My boyfriend did say after I brought it up in conversation that that is what they do with each other. That's not an issue however his friend has done this to me each time I've been around him. Also what does not help is that usually when someone acts this way with me my natural reaction is to give a little bit back because I figure that's their personality and that's how they are. The first time I met him and he did this I just brushed It Off. Then later my boyfriend told me that one of the other guys' girlfriend said something rude when they were playing the game ( when he described it I didn't think it was that bad but he said that the girlfriend was not supposed to talk to the guy that way and only the guys were supposed to talk that way to each other) so after learning that information I think you can see why I feel uncomfortable giving any of it back. I have casually brought up some of the things this guy has said to me in conversation with my boyfriend. One time he said oh I don't know why he said that and another time he just went huh
bachdude Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 What? You're not allowed to give a little crap back because you're the GF?? Is he serious about this?? Does he expect you to behave by this rule that quite frankly sounds rather sexist! Don't you know women are to be seen and not heard. Am I understanding you correctly?? If so, I think you may have a bigger problem than his friend. 4
CommittedToThis Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 One time he said oh I don't know why he said that and another time he just went huh Who is this guy, Early Man? I'd suggest telling him you're not comfortable sitting there being spoken to in that way by his friend, and since he (your BF) isn't doing anything about it, you will, next time you all hang out again. You have the God-given right not to take someone's b.s. and to give it right back if that's your nature. 1
Author LucaChickaD Posted December 15, 2016 Author Posted December 15, 2016 What? You're not allowed to give a little crap back because you're the GF?? Is he serious about this?? Does he expect you to behave by this rule that quite frankly sounds rather sexist! Don't you know women are to be seen and not heard. Am I understanding you correctly?? If so, I think you may have a bigger problem than his friend. He said his friend doesn't talk to his girlfriend that way so she shouldn't talk that way to him. But that they talk that way to each other, meaning guy to guy , and that's part of their friendship. But I think what happened was she saw the way that they ragged on each other and thought that was appropriate
CommittedToThis Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 The main thing is the friend was 'ragging' on you, dude-style. If that level of banter is permissible only among the males of the tribe, why was the friend engaging you in that fashion? I'm probably not gonna sleep well tonight wondering about all of this.
bachdude Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 He said his friend doesn't talk to his girlfriend that way so she shouldn't talk that way to him. But that they talk that way to each other, meaning guy to guy , and that's part of their friendship. But I think what happened was she saw the way that they ragged on each other and thought that was appropriate Well, first, I think his friend probably doesn't mean any harm in ragging on you and ribbing you like you are one of the guys. So since your BF's bud is giving you a little crap and violating the unspoken rule of "Dudom", and since your BF is not defending your honor, I'd give it right back if you like!
angel.eyes Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 He said his friend doesn't talk to his girlfriend that way so she shouldn't talk that way to him. But that they talk that way to each other, meaning guy to guy , and that's part of their friendship. But I think what happened was she saw the way that they ragged on each other and thought that was appropriate But his boys are ragging on you like that!! So it's not just the guys ragging on each other. They're disrespecting you and you're expected to say nothing? And neither does your boyfriend when they insult you? Aside from his mealy-mouthed comment after the fact that he doesn't know why his friend said crap to you? First of all, why would you ever go back to experience more of this nonsense? I wouldn't bother engaging in verbal insults with his friends, but good grief, I certainly wouldn't return for more of their treatment. There are lots of guys out there who will treat you with respect. As a result, so will their friends. Find a new boyfriend! And please develop some boundaries. If you allow people to treat you like crap, they will! 1
Recommended Posts