Why does it feel like she is acting hot/cold towards me?

[Oladeji123]

So this girl knows that i like her, i had asked her out but she rejected me (she is currently texting someone she used to date but they are not officially dating). Even after the rejection, we would still text like almost everyday and send each other snapchats. But recently, she's just stopped texting me. Even when i text her, she would either take hours to reply and wouldn't continue the convo. I decided to just not bother anymore and didn't text her. A few days later, i posted a film trailer on Facebook, then she messages not long after asking if i had seen a film trailer for another film. I thought it was very random, but messaged her back later saying that i didn't really like that movie franchise. I thought this would at least initiate a conversation but she didn't bother replying. Again, we didn't talk for a few days and then she randomly commented on a status i put up. Hers was the only comment on my status. I didn't bother replying to her as I'm just kind of fed up with what feels like random hot/cold moments.

[Gloria25]

Unfortunately, some people aren't direct in telling you "not interested". They hope you get the "hint" by them doing or not doing this/that.

 

But think about this point. Maybe she's not playing "hot/cold" and she's simply treating you like someone she has no romantic interest in...as a "friend".

 

I mean, I have friends where we chat a lot and then either of us fall off the radar. Some of my friends are flakes that only get in touch when they are bored or having problems with their men. I call them "fair weather friends"

[Philosoraptor]

She's not hot and cold. She doesn't see you as a romantic interest and is treating you as such.

[VeveCakes]

Someone messaging you about a film trailer or commenting on your status does not mean they are into you.

 

She went cold and stayed cold, you had your hopes up....sorry it didn't work out.

 

I don't think it is worth pursuing.

[eightytwenty]

She might be keeping you as a option if the other person doesn't work out. I wouldn't even mess with it and keep ignoring.

[Gloria25]

She might be keeping you as a option if the other person doesn't work out. I wouldn't even mess with it and keep ignoring.

 

Nah, if she was, she wouldn't fall off of the radar like that and only make brief contact. I mean, she probably couldn't help "but" respond to his Fakebook post. I mean Fakebook slams it in your face, so it probably caught her eye and she responded. Not like she was sitting around plotting how to mess with his head.

 

And yea, some friends we text back/forth and sometimes a message is left hanging without a response.

[Oladeji123]

But i already got the hint when she rejected me and we were still talking quite a lot after her rejection and then all of a sudden, she just stops. I thought maybe she had gotten serious with the other guy she's talking to hence the reason she stopped talking

[Oladeji123]

but my issue is why would she just decide to randomly message me when she feels like it but if i message her, she probably doesn't bother replying

[Oladeji123]

Someone messaging you about a film trailer or commenting on your status does not mean they are into you.

 

She went cold and stayed cold, you had your hopes up....sorry it didn't work out.

 

I don't think it is worth pursuing.

 

 

But i already got the hint when she rejected me and we were still talking quite a lot after her rejection and then all of a sudden, she just stops. I thought maybe she had gotten serious with the other guy she's talking to hence the reason she stopped talking

[Oladeji123]

Unfortunately, some people aren't direct in telling you "not interested". They hope you get the "hint" by them doing or not doing this/that.

 

But think about this point. Maybe she's not playing "hot/cold" and she's simply treating you like someone she has no romantic interest in...as a "friend".

 

I mean, I have friends where we chat a lot and then either of us fall off the radar. Some of my friends are flakes that only get in touch when they are bored or having problems with their men. I call them "fair weather friends"

 

 

but my issue is why would she just decide to randomly message me when she feels like it but if i message her, she probably doesn't bother replying

[Gloria25]

but my issue is why would she just decide to randomly message me when she feels like it but if i message her, she probably doesn't bother replying

 

My friends do this to me too. Sometimes I'll text them, don't get a reply, then out of the blue they text me and it's some text that has nothing to do with the text I sent them waaay back when - that they didn't reply to.

 

But, me, I wouldn't have continued being "friends" with someone I rejected. I hate when women do that - cuz, look at the confusion it causes you.

[LargoLagg]

Does she end her texts with xoxo? Does she tell you how it is always so good to spend time with you? Does she say anything about how you're different than anybody she's ever met?

 

There you go.

[Oladeji123]

My friends do this to me too. Sometimes I'll text them, don't get a reply, then out of the blue they text me and it's some text that has nothing to do with the text I sent them waaay back when - that they didn't reply to.

 

But, me, I wouldn't have continued being "friends" with someone I rejected. I hate when women do that - cuz, look at the confusion it causes you.

 

Its confusing me. But the girl is also known as a really nice, sweet person so she probably didn't want to tell me straight up to not contact her so she's subtly doing it. I feel like just deleting her from my Facebook but she'll know and may contact me, asking why i deleted her

[Oladeji123]

Does she end her texts with xoxo? Does she tell you how it is always so good to spend time with you? Does she say anything about how you're different than anybody she's ever met?

 

There you go.

 

Well, we had actually made plans to watch a romantic movie together in the new year but i may not even bother asking her anymore. She also used to be very open with me despite the fact that we hadn't known each other for long. She once even questioned herself as to why she would tell me so much about her personal life as she normally isn't like that. This was all before i asked her out though

[Gloria25]

Its confusing me. But the girl is also known as a really nice, sweet person so she probably didn't want to tell me straight up to not contact her so she's subtly doing it. I feel like just deleting her from my Facebook but she'll know and may contact me, asking why i deleted her

 

Well, not sure what you're confused about. You said she rejected you and you know she's seeing someone. So, like LargoLagg said, unless every message from her is sprinkled with sugar, I don't see how she's leading you on by chatting with you.

 

I had one dude, after I asked him if he was seeing someone tell me that 'Yes, he was seeing someone, but that he'd keep my digits just in case...and, that he liked talking to me'. Now THAT, IMO, is giving someone the impression that you're leaving the door open.

 

What do you believe she's done to lead you on - besides chatting and disappearing after the chat, on only to message you on social media over something you posted?

[Gloria25]

Well, we had actually made plans to watch a romantic movie together in the new year but i may not even bother asking her anymore. She also used to be very open with me despite the fact that we hadn't known each other for long. She once even questioned herself as to why she would tell me so much about her personal life as she normally isn't like that. This was all before i asked her out though

 

And, if I'm correct, after you asked her out is when she rejected you? Well, I don't see why you're going back in time to all that was said/done before the rejection. IMO, we have to look at what's happened "after" the rejection.

[Oladeji123]

Well, not sure what you're confused about. You said she rejected you and you know she's seeing someone. So, like LargoLagg said, unless every message from her is sprinkled with sugar, I don't see how she's leading you on by chatting with you.

 

I had one dude, after I asked him if he was seeing someone tell me that 'Yes, he was seeing someone, but that he'd keep my digits just in case...and, that he liked talking to me'. Now THAT, IMO, is giving someone the impression that you're leaving the door open.

 

What do you believe she's done to lead you on - besides chatting and disappearing after the chat, on only to message you on social media over something you posted?

 

Well as i told another member, i haven't known her for very long but she's already opened up herself to me. I know quite a lot about her life (not romantic life) because she told me. She even admitted that she didn't know why she told me so much about her personal life. I guess since I'm not the kind of guy that would ever tell anyone so much about myself, i found it kind of odd and assumed that she must really trust me or at least feels very comfortable with me

[Oladeji123]

And, if I'm correct, after you asked her out is when she rejected you? Well, I don't see why you're going back in time to all that was said/done before the rejection. IMO, we have to look at what's happened "after" the rejection.

 

Even after the rejection,like i said, our friendship was still as good as before i asked her out. She would text me like almost everyday, if i hadn't texted her. She would send video snapchats of her looking really cute, and i know she didn't send them to anyone else because of the caption she would have on the videos. And its not like i said or did anything to have put her off. She just decided to just stop contacting me. This happened like a few weeks after the rejection so in between that time, we were still on very good terms

[Scarlett.O'hara]

To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if she commented on your status in hopes that the other guy would notice and get jealous. Either that or she just looking for a bit of attention and once she had it, she got bored.

 

Whatever her motives, it sounds like you are in the friend-zoned, which is probably a good thing because she doesn't sound like good girlfriend material anyway.

[Gloria25]

Even after the rejection,like i said, our friendship was still as good as before i asked her out. She would text me like almost everyday, if i hadn't texted her. She would send video snapchats of her looking really cute, and i know she didn't send them to anyone else because of the caption she would have on the videos. And its not like i said or did anything to have put her off. She just decided to just stop contacting me. This happened like a few weeks after the rejection so in between that time, we were still on very good terms

 

Well, like I said, I don't play that crap. Once I reject a guy, I no longer have much to do with him - even on a "friendly" level, cuz like how you're confused, I don't want some guy to think I'm leading him on.

[Oladeji123]

Well, like I said, I don't play that crap. Once I reject a guy, I no longer have much to do with him - even on a "friendly" level, cuz like how you're confused, I don't want some guy to think I'm leading him on.

 

So do you think i should just never message her, even just to say hi if we haven't spoken for a long time? Should i delete all contact with her?

[Gloria25]

So do you think i should just never message her, even just to say hi if we haven't spoken for a long time? Should i delete all contact with her?

 

IMO, no you shouldn't. Cuz, you think/want it to be more than just a simple message or "hi".

 

You don't have to delete all contact with her - unless you can't control yourself from looking more into it than it is. But, IMO, I would block and delete. She didn't care to hold back on the whole chatty and sending you snaps after she rejected you and to me that's not cool.

[Oladeji123]

IMO, no you shouldn't. Cuz, you think/want it to be more than just a simple message or "hi".

 

You don't have to delete all contact with her - unless you can't control yourself from looking more into it than it is. But, IMO, I would block and delete. She didn't care to hold back on the whole chatty and sending you snaps after she rejected you and to me that's not cool.

 

I don't want to delete contact with her but i feel i may have to. Even though I'm getting over her, i know that once i see pictures with her and the inevitable boyfriend, its gonna hurt quite a bit. But i also know, she may ask me why I've deleted/blocked her

[spiderowl]

She does not sound interested. I'd stay out of contact with her and let her make any moves until you are pretty sure she has become interested. I am sure there are plenty of women out there that would be more interested.