EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I haven't been on this site for ages... besides (1 week ago made a quick post) Sooo anyways my ex girlfriend who I dated for 1 year gave me a call 35 minutes ago.. I didn't answer I actually forgot about her and the way I felt about her and bang!!! It hit me right in the face I started feeling butterflies again I don't even know why :/ she texted me saying hi I hope you're doing well I was just wondering if you could call me back I want to talk to you? What should I do? 1
DarrenB Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 What's your intention/s? Do you want her back? would you want to reconcile if given an open opportunity?
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 She cheated on me and destroyed 6 months of my life I had constant anxiety and depersonalisation. But I still feel something for her but I don't want to be played again. 2
Satu Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Don't reply immediately. Give yourself some time to process her message and how you feel about it. Then decide if you want to reply or not. Take care. 3
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 I don't know satu she cheated on me and I just recovered from anxiety and depersonalisation.. I'm scared but I feel the love if you feel me? 1
kztar Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Don't respond right away. Based on what you have said here, you have come A LONGGGGG way. just think, if you REALLY want to open that door again..... Weight the pros and cons and really how YOU FEEL . 1
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 She owes me $2000 but my mental health is more important, it's been a whole year and now she shoots me a text after her sugar daddy directed her to the back door. 2
Satu Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't reply. If someone deeply hurts me, they never get the chance to do it again. Only two people ever seriously hurt me, and I closed the door on them very firmly, because I realised that I have a duty of care towards myself. But you have to do what you believe is best for you. Give yourself time think, and time to listen to your deep Self. Take care. 5
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 Satu I like your mentality! I wish she had the same 1
Philosoraptor Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Do you feel like you can let the past go and begin anew? Or will the fact that she cheated on you in the past eat at you? Seems like it could be a lot of torture for a "maybe". Did you just post a couple weeks ago about being in a relationship already with an immature girl? Did that one end? 2
kztar Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't reply. If someone deeply hurts me, they never get the chance to do it again. Only two people ever seriously hurt me, and I closed the door on them very firmly, because I realised that I have a duty of care towards myself. But you have to do what you believe is best for you. Give yourself time think, and time to listen to your deep Self. Take care. Im with Satu here. DUTY of care for yourself is everything. No one will ever have that duty but yourself. 3
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 That has ended, she didn't cheat just was immature. I'll return her call just to see what's up 1
keiji Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 She cheated on you and left you mentally devastated. I wouldn't give her a chance to do it again after having gone through so much pain –and probably a lot of hard work to heal. As Satu said, though, if you can't help replying, at least take a little time to think things through and try to picture how you'll react if she throws a little bait your way, or even more importantly, if it's just a "how are you, just making sure you still have feelings for me" kind of phone call. You don't want to go back to square one, do you? Be strong and, more importantly, don't let impatience get the better of you. 1
LargoLagg Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 "I want to talk to you" probably means something like "I have some news I wanted you to hear from me, not somebody else". "I want to SEE you" are the words that mean what you're hoping to hear. My reply would be something like "That's ok, I don't need to talk. But what I do need is that $2000 you haven't paid back. You didn't forget about that, did you? When am I going to see that money? Send me a check! Right now is not too soon!" 3
Bromeo Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Evil, You will get a range of advice from those here on LS, based on their feelings and experiences. The proper advice is somewhere in the middle. My ex left three separate times in 18 months. Each time she had my replacement lined up, but I, in my immaturity, chased her back for more 'great' times. After several months of chasing and pain, I finally went NC, snapped myself out of it a couple weeks later and have felt great. Sleeping better, drinking less, more productive at work, the whole thing. And it hurt, damn did it hurt bad. Seemed like forever. Guess what? I just got notified she was stalking my FB page. Funny how those things work. In my case, she was either drunk and wondering about me, or she just got done shagging her new mope and wanted to show him her "awful" ex. Either way, I don't care, other than the novelty of it. In your case, listen to the good people here, consider their opinions, take your time, listen to yourself, etc. Personally, you have to maintain extreme mental toughness to re-engage like you are describing. I might suggest an email response, its less taxing than a phone call. Whatever she wants, she is motivated by self-interest, and not altruism. 1
Latino4Lyfe Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Evil, My advice to you is similar to everyone else here...think long and hard before you make the jump to answer. You stated she still owes you money, is the money really necessary over you overcoming the mental state in which she played a big part in putting you in and finally being in a better happier place? Myself personally, as much as it sucks to lose money especially if it is in the thousands, I would have to unfortunately just write it off and keep it moving with my new and improved life and keep NC. Imagine how much more would be lost if she decided to weasel her way back? Plus chances are she most likely wouldn't have the money and would play it off and/or get angry and twist things. Better to just leave her be and let her suffer the consequences in the decisions she made. So yeah think long and hard and keep us updated. Great job on getting yourself back together! 1
Blanco Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 She owes me $2000 but my mental health is more important, it's been a whole year and now she shoots me a text after her sugar daddy directed her to the back door. This last part is vital. She might just be looking for a soft landing. 1
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 I just got off the phone with her she transferred me $1600, as soon the money landed in my account I hung up block and delete her voice just sounds so toxic stupid rabbit sounding B*tch she told me that she lost her job and has anxiety now I love you karma 2
VeveCakes Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I just got off the phone with her she transferred me $1600, as soon the money landed in my account I hung up block and delete her voice just sounds so toxic stupid rabbit sounding B*tch she told me that she lost her job and has anxiety now I love you karma Good you got some of the money. Good you blocked her....time for her to move on. 2
Latino4Lyfe Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I just got off the phone with her she transferred me $1600, as soon the money landed in my account I hung up block and delete her voice just sounds so toxic stupid rabbit sounding B*tch she told me that she lost her job and has anxiety now I love you karma That was lucky, good job man. Yeah you did the right thing in blocking her. As I stated earlier, let her suffer in the consequences for the decisions she has made. Don't look back and keep moving forward. Good things will happen
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 (edited) Actually it feels great, I started experiencing some tingly sensations on my butt I think it's a symptom of happiness I don't care about your view on karma you didn't go through what I have been through upto 15 panic attacks a day visiting the ER every 2 days being put on Xanax for 6 months all because of her? Fat chance im taking what you say into consideration < moderator note: we retained this post but it is a response to a post from a disruptive member that has since been deleted. > Edited December 15, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added note and deleted posts from disruptive member ~6 1
Bromeo Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Evil, 15 panic attacks is not healthy. I have seen and done some crazy things in my life, and never had one. But my ex caused me to. It was because I was holding on, and obsessing, and over analyzing things. Its toxic for the body and soul. The brain looks for ways to heal the heart, let it. You have got to learn for yourself, whether through meds or counseling to let go. I had to grab my emotional cojones and snap myself out of it. It was consuming me, and the irony is your ex is not being consumed by it. At all. Once I did I started sleeping better, and being more productive at work. The simple truth is that my ex doesn't care. If she did, she'd be with me. Once that set in, I began to heal. And, I am not sure I agree with opening communication with someone who caused so much pain. That should be done only if the person is healed completely, and there is a need to. Collecting the money and immediately blocking seemed brutish to me, but I am a bit older. So much time has passed, and she made the effort to pay you back. I can promise you my ex, who stuffed me with multiple bills, would not have. A simple thank you would have sufficed. Doing so shows class.
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 its been A about 2 months that I have been recovered from anxiety and depersonalisation, if you do not know what depersonalisation is it's when you feel non human in a dream like state due to severe stress and anxiety I was over analysing my symptoms and became an isolated human being I quit my job gave up on everything but now? I feel reborn I feel like the strongest human being ever I actually enjoyed the heart break and emotions why? Because now I truly see the value of everyone I never treated people equally always put women down I never practiced religion now I do.. it has changed me it really as I will never get played by a woman again because I know exactly when the red flag gets into action. Love hurts but it makes you stronger in my own opinion.
Author EvilLawStudent Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 It's not brutish when she opens her legs for someone else leaves me half way, borrows $2000 of my own money that i worked my butt off for, destroys my heart leaves me with anxiety and myself in my apartment, blocks me off everything and removes everything that we once had but it's brutish when I get money back and remove her.. logic?
keiji Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 it has changed me it really as I will never get played by a woman again because I know exactly when the red flag gets into action. You know the red flags you've seen so far in life. You're a bit over-confident, I think. You'll get hurt again, believe me. The important thing it's not building a heavy armor to avoid pain, but realizing that when you feel it again, which you will, it's not the end of the world.
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