Chad1111 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Hello everyone, I made a post a couple months back ( my one and only post I made on here) and I took a lot of you guys advice and used it, I posted about how I was with a girl but in love with someone else, I didn't get the best reaction from people, most of them said I was selfish and basically an ******* lol, I'm sorry I've realized the error of my ways so I broke it off with the girl I was with and now I'm alone, I really do believe the girl I lust for and still think about all the time is some one I'm in love with, when I was was with her for the short time we talked and saw eachother, I'd hadn't felt that way about someone in years, unfortunately she's seeing someone else now and I still see her once in a while, it hurts feeling like someone makes her feel good and way better then I ever could, I don't know wether to give up and move on or.... I don't even know or. I'm still crazy about this girl and I'm tried to get over her but I just can't for some reason and it confuses me why, like I said before I haven't felt this way about someone in years and I a VERY strong feelings for her, I don't bother her in anyway, that's not my style, I leave her alone, i don't want to bother her, she hits me up once in awhile and have short small talk but it's not the same, anyway they say sometimes if you love something you should let it go so I don't know what to do here and it's just sad 1
Author Chad1111 Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 If anyone can give me some advice on what to do id really appreciate it. Thank you, Chad 1
smackie9 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 We always desire more what we can't have or is out of reach. I feel you are just obsessively infatuated and in most cases is worse than being in love. You keep thinking of her to get that hit of dopamine your brain releases....it's addicting, that's why you are stuck in this cycle of wanting and trying to forget. It's a tug o war of feelings. The only cure it time.....and keeping yourself rewarded with being busy with other life experiences. Some people just pack up and travel for awhile, to get away from it all. 4
bachdude Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I think you have this woman on an unrealistic pedestal that no one person could ever live up to. Your worshiping an idealized version of what you imagine her to be. Who knows, maybe in a relationship she's super controlling, jealous, mean etc... You have no idea. And even if she isn't those things, if you two were together, those dopamine tainted glasses would eventually be replaced by clear ones and you would see her as is - yes the goddess you are now worshiping will look like a plain 'ol human being full of imperfections and failings. She may even get super resentful of you because of your failings and begin to shot those zingers at you with a look only a woman can give that cuts you to the heart. I've seen enough of life that it gets harder and harder to put any one person on a pedestal and worship their godlike attributes. Nope, people are people and there is no woman who is "the one". 2
JaeJae Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 I agree with bachdude. It sounds like you're caught up in the good and in doing so end up idolizing this woman even more. So in your mind, you have an overly inflated view of this person. Who knows, let's say you did end up with this person and over time you realized she isn't what you're looking for. I know it's hypothetical right now and seems implausible because she seems so wonderful, but over time those rose colored glasses fade and the real person is revealed. 3
Author Chad1111 Posted December 16, 2016 Author Posted December 16, 2016 Thanks guy, you guys are saying basically what I was already thinking, being with her probly isn't all it's cracked up to be, I guess I'm just infatuated.. Not to toot my horn but I never had really been rejected before so it really confused me, once we hooked up the first couple times I thought we were going to date eachother but then she just became distant unfortunately, idk I hadn't had feelings like this for a girl in years, that girl I was just with, I liked her but my feelings were no where near as strong, I thought maybe after we had sex my feeling would be different and they were a little stronger but I still wasn't in love and it hurt her and me because I knew it wasn't going to work, I can't be with her, but at the same time I can't be with the girl I'm crazy about, it's just sad I need to meet someone new 1
Satu Posted December 16, 2016 Posted December 16, 2016 (edited) snip I need to meet someone new No. You don't. You need to spend enough time on your own to learn that using other people as a 'feel good drug,' has nothing to do with healthy relationships. If you meet someone else now, you'll just lose your mental and emotional balance all over again, and be back here posting about how you just did it all over again. No women for you. Not for a while. Take care. Edited December 16, 2016 by Satu 3
Author Chad1111 Posted December 16, 2016 Author Posted December 16, 2016 Well man, you don't understand, I hadn't dated anyone in a couple of years, I think I've only been in "love" once before this, after highschool I worked for a couple of years, and had a very very small circle of friends, now I'm in college and work at a place now with people more my age, I've haven't experienced feelings like the ones I've felt over the last like 6 months and I guess it is a drug that makes me feel good, but now I feel pretty damn bad. 1
Author Chad1111 Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Why do I feel so bitter because she found love and I didn't? What can do to not feel like this 1
Sweetfish Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Why do I feel so bitter because she found love and I didn't? What can do to not feel like this Every post you make shows me how conflicted you are. and maybe you don't deserve love... yet How can you feel bitter if you are the one who took her for granted? 1
Satu Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Why do I feel so bitter because she found love and I didn't? *What can do to not feel like this *Find out what love is, because what you think love is, isn't love. Take care. 1
Author Chad1111 Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Took who for granted? I wish I got that far to be able to say something like that I would never take a girl I love for granted because if I'd loved a girl I'd do anything and everything for her, and you're right I am very conflicted no doubt most definitely
Author Chad1111 Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 And ok satu, maybe I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure I do, but maybe I'm a stumbling bumbling idiot and your a profound goddess
Satu Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 And ok satu, maybe I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure I do, but maybe I'm a stumbling bumbling idiot and your a profound goddess That's one possible explanation. Take care. 1
Author Chad1111 Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 Lol maybe your right, you she devil 1
Satu Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 Lol maybe your right, you she devil There is a book you might find helpful: Making Love Last: Creating and Maintaining Intimacy in Long-term Relationships You can download it for free at the link above. Take care.
Recommended Posts