monmon238 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 (edited) Hey everybody, i will try to make this as a short as possible, me and my girlfriend have been together for a year but we dont live together, but we love each other very much, i always had the feeling that she is not that hygenic, and i am kind of a bit too hygenic, for example, i always wash my hands when i come home, she does not, i told her she should and she felt offended, another one would be during cooking, she would cut raw chicken and then use a towl she uses to clean every thing to clean her hands, or even touch food that wont be cooked, and when i told her she should not do that and that we can get sick, she was mad at me and started fighting and in a moment of anger i told her she is unhygenic, the last thing that happened that she broke up with me after is, i though girls would usually shower if they know if they are gonna have sex, and at this paricular time i knew she did not cause we had lunch outside and then went to her place, and i told her lets go shower together cause its always fun, and she refused, later we were fooling around, and when i got near to hear crotch, i smelled something bad, i thought it might be residuals after going to the bathroom or something, it could have been her vagina, am not sure, and i stopped and told her i smell poo (that was dumb and stupid of me), and she got mad and i told her i just cant do it like this and maybe we should go shower together, she insisted on not going, so i just stopped and lied beside her. the next day she texted me saying that am trying to change her and that i say mean things to her and said she cant change herself and can't change me and said we should break up, my question now, is this all my fault, was i asking for too much? or ist it her fault? is this even a reason for her to break up with me? thank for reading all my crap. Edited December 13, 2016 by monmon238
LargoLagg Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 :lmao: I'm sorry, give me a minute here... :lmao: whew! OK, no, you did the right thing for you! So many people encounter stuff that just disgusts them, and then they try to excuse it in order to keep the person that disgusts them. Does that make any sense? You were well within your rights to insist that she at least wipes her butt before she has sex with you. Pardon me, just a minute. :lmao: Anyway, good for you. The trick to long-lasting love is to find someone compatible, not to compromise the very basics of your own personality. Be strong, be brave! Stick to your guns! 8
GCar Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 (edited) I'm not a neat freak, but it's common sense that you handle raw meat carefully and clean yourself. You aren't compatible, move on. It will be much worse if you move in together and she leaves her messes and dirt all over the place. Edited December 14, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed derogatory poke
Author monmon238 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Posted December 13, 2016 (edited) I'm not a neat freak, but it's common sense that you handle raw meat carefully and clean yourself. You aren't compatible, move on. It will be much worse if you move in together and she leaves her messes and dirt all over the place. hahahha....sorrrryyyy...well am a hygiene freak not neat freak well her place actually looks pretty clean, but she is the kind of person that evey thing looks clean but you wonder if its really clean, for example she the way she washes her dishes, she fill the sink with water and soap, soaks the dishes in it and cleans them with a brush put them back in the same water, and then usues a towl to dry them, which i find digusting cause they need to be rinsed from the soap before being wiped. Edited December 14, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Arieswoman Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 monmon238, You did right - gee whizz, she sounds gross. Let some other guy get food poisoning, you're well out of this. 4
Redhead14 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 She didn't break up with you because you criticized her hygiene, she broke up with you because she doesn't handle criticism well . . . But, seriously, you could have simply said something like "Hey, let's take a shower together. I need one and it'll be fun". Sometimes it not about the subject, it's about the way you approach it. But, I really think this is a lifestyle/"dailies" incompatibility with the other things. You are kinda like Felix Unger and Oscar Madison and on the show they tolerated each other, but you don't have to do that in real life All you can do is explain your position about working in the kitchen, etc. and see if she starts to accommodate at least a little. 3
bubbaganoosh Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 If your going to have sex then the right thing to do is wash your ass and crouch. It's called manners. She should have known that and if she doesn't know by now then it will happen to her again when the next guy starts gagging 6
Pill Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I had this problem and I totally understand it. I don't comprehend how a person can expect sex without washing their ass. An excellent fwb of mine would expect me to lick caramel off her despite her not showering all day. 3
basil67 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Two things here. Kitchen hygiene is important to avoid food poisoning. Showering before sex? I didn't know that was a thing. I've certainly never had a boyfriend who expected that. My experience would be them ripping my clothes off no matter whether I'd showered or not. And this was back in the days when we also had pubic hair LOL. They don't make men like they used to. 4
pteromom Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 It's nobody's "fault" - you two just aren't compatible. But in the future, rather than try to bend someone to be who you want, just pay attention to who they are - and walk away if there are too many incompatibilities. That's the purpose of dating! Whether or not she should have been cleaner, nobody wants someone following them around harping on them all the time about something like that. You may have great intentions, but all the other person hears is "He doesn't think I am good enough. He thinks he is better than me. He thinks I am gross. He doesn't love me the way I am..." 3
elaine567 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I think you are a hygiene freak, so go find another hygiene freak to spend your days with. My concern would be that perhaps you are taking things a bit too far here. Are you in fact becoming obsessed with "hygiene", germs and smells. "Honesty" as you found here is not always the best policy, especially if you are going to seriously upset people with "honest" remarks. Germaphobes - obsession with sanitation is actually a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder
Author monmon238 Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 I think you are a hygiene freak, so go find another hygiene freak to spend your days with. My concern would be that perhaps you are taking things a bit too far here. Are you in fact becoming obsessed with "hygiene", germs and smells. "Honesty" as you found here is not always the best policy, especially if you are going to seriously upset people with "honest" remarks. Germaphobes - obsession with sanitation is actually a sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder Whaaaat ??! how am i a hygiene freak, nothing in this article applies to me:lmao: i just like things clean! would you go down on a man if his junk smelled?? 3
darkmoon Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 she will be happier with a slob if all your girls seem to have been smelly, that would make you OCD, but if it is just her, well, she smells 1
elaine567 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Whaaaat ??! how am i a hygiene freak, nothing in this article applies to me:lmao: i just like things clean! would you go down on a man if his junk smelled?? You, yourself said you were a hygiene freak. 2
basil67 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Whaaaat ??! how am i a hygiene freak, nothing in this article applies to me:lmao: i just like things clean! would you go down on a man if his junk smelled?? In 30 odd years of being sexually active, I can only think of two occasions when a guy's junk smelled. And no, the others weren't freshly showered. I suspect you are imagining problems which rarely exist. 2
bubbaganoosh Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 Boils down to this. If your an adult then you know about personal hygiene and no one should have to tell you. Hell if your not sure stick your hand down your pants and find out if you stink but if you've been hoofing it all day and used the bathroom a few times then it doesn't take a genius to know that you need freshened up. 5
Author monmon238 Posted December 15, 2016 Author Posted December 15, 2016 You, yourself said you were a hygiene freak. Well i forgot about this comment , but i didnt mean it in an ocd way, just that i pay attention to Hygiene sometimes more than other people, like the fact that you need to wash your hands when you come home, some people dont do it, I do, doesn't make me a freak. 2
hestheone66 Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 I am in the reverse position. My bf is much more 'neat freak' with regards to kitchen hygiene than I am..however I'm never sick and he is... hygiene can go too far.. He always showers before we are intimate and I prefer I do too... however in this aspect he differs and he prefers if I haven't washed all day..he like the deeper aroma..I treat him every now and then... The world is full of many types of people and I agree you may have been trying to change her..from a woman's point of view, if you love her you accept her 100% ..after all it is easier for a woman to find a guy than vice versa. 1
Author monmon238 Posted December 15, 2016 Author Posted December 15, 2016 Boils down to this. If your an adult then you know about personal hygiene and no one should have to tell you. Hell if your not sure stick your hand down your pants and find out if you stink but if you've been hoofing it all day and used the bathroom a few times then it doesn't take a genius to know that you need freshened up. Exactly, Thank you sir!
LargoLagg Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 They don't make men like they used to. It must be all that dirty sperm. 3
guest572 Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 Two things here. Kitchen hygiene is important to avoid food poisoning. Showering before sex? I didn't know that was a thing. I've certainly never had a boyfriend who expected that. My experience would be them ripping my clothes off no matter whether I'd showered or not. And this was back in the days when we also had pubic hair LOL. They don't make men like they used to. I agree. Ex and I (both neat freaks) would have evening and morning sex and then shower afterwards in the morning (sometimes a quick freshen after evening sex). We would shower after gym or exercise before sex but not always. Oral i wouldn't want to do unless recently showered. I wouldn't mind if all we did was go out for lunch though, don't think a shower is necessary. It just sounds like you ex is not wiping properly. She must have been mortified when you told her, but i think honesty that you showed is better than subtle hints that some here suggest. The thing about chicken was a huge overreaction by her. 2
5x5 Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 Well i forgot about this comment , but i didnt mean it in an ocd way, just that i pay attention to Hygiene sometimes more than other people, like the fact that you need to wash your hands when you come home, some people dont do it, I do, doesn't make me a freak. Are you sure? Through all of my 45 years you're the first person that I've heard of, that feels compelled to wash their hands when they come home. 2
Arieswoman Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 5 x 5, I work in healthcare and I not only wash my hands when I come home, but remove all my uniform, have a shower, hairwash and complete change of clothes. Some of my clients suffer with incontinence, which is not their fault but I certainly don't want eau de wee wee on me any longer than necessary 2
guest572 Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 Showering before sex sounds over the top, especially if you've already showered that day or you just woke up. You're about to get messy anyway. 1
eightytwenty Posted December 15, 2016 Posted December 15, 2016 hmmm... I don't wash my hands when I get home. Never ever crossed my mind, I usually do it after I touch things that are gross, trash, cleaning up after the dogs. But sometimes I don't even think about it. I wash my hands before cooking clothes. wash my hands, clean the dishes, then wash my hands before I eat. Sex at night, I do shower before, or we just don't go down there if we randomly get in the mood. haha
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