JKeel88 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 On Saturday I was at a friend’s birthday party. There was a gorgeous woman there that I introduced myself to and we got along well. As soon as I saw her I knew I wanted to talk to her. Even from across the room she had this glow about her. She was extremely nice, funny, we talked all night, flirted a lot. She was playing drinking games with some friends and said she doesn’t usually drink. That was confirmed by a few people there who said they rarely see her drink, so I know she wasn’t just saying that. She wasn’t wasted, she was talking and walking fine. Just a bit more “out there” and relaxed. Towards the end of the night she started initiating sex, and said she has never hooked up with a stranger before. I stopped it and took her home instead. I genuinely like her and didn’t want to start it off that way or mess up something that could have been good. Turning her down was hard, I’ll be honest. There is just something about her. I don’t know, I want to take it slow and do it right. She got kind of upset after and told me to stay over. I said to go to sleep and I’d call her the next day. I called her the next day, as promised, and she apologized for coming on too strong. I told her she had nothing to apologize for. She wasn’t “unattractive drunk”. We talked for a few hours on the phone. She had her last exam yesterday so we didn’t talk at all yesterday. Where do I go from here? This is a woman I don’t want to lose. I don't want to come on too strong, but also don't want her to think I'm not interested. She was unsure after I turned down sex.
Redhead14 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 On Saturday I was at a friend’s birthday party. There was a gorgeous woman there that I introduced myself to and we got along well. As soon as I saw her I knew I wanted to talk to her. Even from across the room she had this glow about her. She was extremely nice, funny, we talked all night, flirted a lot. She was playing drinking games with some friends and said she doesn’t usually drink. That was confirmed by a few people there who said they rarely see her drink, so I know she wasn’t just saying that. She wasn’t wasted, she was talking and walking fine. Just a bit more “out there” and relaxed. Towards the end of the night she started initiating sex, and said she has never hooked up with a stranger before. I stopped it and took her home instead. I genuinely like her and didn’t want to start it off that way or mess up something that could have been good. Turning her down was hard, I’ll be honest. There is just something about her. I don’t know, I want to take it slow and do it right. She got kind of upset after and told me to stay over. I said to go to sleep and I’d call her the next day. I called her the next day, as promised, and she apologized for coming on too strong. I told her she had nothing to apologize for. She wasn’t “unattractive drunk”. We talked for a few hours on the phone. She had her last exam yesterday so we didn’t talk at all yesterday. Where do I go from here? This is a woman I don’t want to lose. I don't want to come on too strong, but also don't want her to think I'm not interested. She was unsure after I turned down sex. Call her and schedule another date for a couples of days from now. Keep in light touch between dates and take it one date at a time. After a couple of dates, open a conversation about what you each are looking for in the long-term for yourselves in general. If she is looking for a long-term, committed relationship and you two are on the same page to start with, great. You can't say for sure it will be with each other yet, it's just to make sure your overall goals are aligned. If she thinks that turning her down for sex maybe means you weren't attracted to her, call her soon for a date so that she knows that's not the case. 4
CommittedToThis Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Hey man, I've gotta say that turning your new friend down for sex likely scored massive points in your favor. I did that recently and while my friend wasn't happy about it, the next time we dated she gave me her all. It was worth making us wait IMO. So, nice job. What to do now? Call her. Screw texting, call her and ask her out on a date this weekend. She's more than interested so you have no real excuse not to ring her up and show her the time of her life. All the best. 2
Author JKeel88 Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 I called her tonight and asked her to go out with my Friday, she said yes and we made plans. But she also said tomorrow there is a ice festival in our city and asked if I wanted to go with her. I said yes because I can't wait to see her again. Is 2 dates in one week too much? Basically one initiated by me and one by her. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I called her tonight and asked her to go out with my Friday, she said yes and we made plans. But she also said tomorrow there is a ice festival in our city and asked if I wanted to go with her. I said yes because I can't wait to see her again. Is 2 dates in one week too much? Basically one initiated by me and one by her. DUDE, this is ALL GOOD! GOOD, I say!
frus69 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Am I the only one who thinks her behaviour doesn't add up? Personally never seen any legitimate "nice" woman come on so strong that I can't help but wonder what is the rush "I just met you I don't know you but I already wanna have sex and have two dates in a row with you " I'd say proceed with caution. Maybe she needs your attention for some other reasons 2
Lansing Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 I have always been hesitant with girls who are overly physical/interest in the initial stages but maybe I should have just gone with the flow more than being too cautious. I always wonder about people who say "I never do this..."... I wonder if they actually never do that or they are playing the "you are so special" game.
LD1990 Posted December 14, 2016 Posted December 14, 2016 Towards the end of the night she started initiating sex, and said she has never hooked up with a stranger before. Uh huh, sure. What's she going to tell you next, she's a virgin who has been saving herself for you? My general rule is if she does it with me, she has probably done it with someone else. Regardless, it sounds like things are going well, just don't put this chick on a pedestal or buy all this BS she's feeding you about how "I never drunkenly hook up with strangers, just you." 2
Author JKeel88 Posted December 14, 2016 Author Posted December 14, 2016 Normally I don't believe the "I never do this/that" lines. 9 times out of 10 they just don't want to be seen negatively, IMO. She was different. It helped that her friends were there, who even said they rarely or never see her drunk. A couple people said something along the lines of "is she actually drunk, I've never seen her drink". There was I don't know maybe 10 people there who said something about it. One girl tried to say I wasn't going home with her. We're going out in a couple hours.
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