Hersheys Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I’ve been dating my coworker for almost a year now and lately I could sense him keeping a distance from me. I know that the relationship is going nowhere and letting go, moving on is the only way out (a whole different topic) BUT he’s like an addiction to me.. I get depressed, sad when he doesn’t acknowledge me or give me attention. Being a long term member of LS, I’m quite knowledgeable of the No Contact rule and have done it in the past and truly moved on…. but my problem is we work together, I just can’t not communicate with him. I just miss the things we used to do together and for the longest time I miss how he used to treat me. I honestly feel so lame and weak for not being strong enough to handle things on a daily basis. Hate to admit it but a small part of me wants him to miss what he had BUT more so to save my sanity and regain my old life back. Every time I look at him, it’s like a slap in the face on how he seems happy while I am struggling minute by minute trying to appear normal and that I’m alright with how things are. I read on here that if he pulls away from you, what you have to do is to pull back… but just how do I do that? How do you distance yourself from a coworker/bf who’s also distancing himself from you? Have you done it before and what happened? Thanks in advance for your replies.
Redhead14 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I’ve been dating my coworker for almost a year now and lately I could sense him keeping a distance from me. I know that the relationship is going nowhere and letting go, moving on is the only way out (a whole different topic) BUT he’s like an addiction to me.. I get depressed, sad when he doesn’t acknowledge me or give me attention. Being a long term member of LS, I’m quite knowledgeable of the No Contact rule and have done it in the past and truly moved on…. but my problem is we work together, I just can’t not communicate with him. I just miss the things we used to do together and for the longest time I miss how he used to treat me. I honestly feel so lame and weak for not being strong enough to handle things on a daily basis. Hate to admit it but a small part of me wants him to miss what he had BUT more so to save my sanity and regain my old life back. Every time I look at him, it’s like a slap in the face on how he seems happy while I am struggling minute by minute trying to appear normal and that I’m alright with how things are. I read on here that if he pulls away from you, what you have to do is to pull back… but just how do I do that? How do you distance yourself from a coworker/bf who’s also distancing himself from you? Have you done it before and what happened? Thanks in advance for your replies. I don't understand your question. If he's distancing himself from you, you don't have to do anything. Let him keep keep his distance. Don't address him directly, don't walk up to him. Don't engage in conversation unless it's related to the job. Conduct yourself in a professional manner. If you are forced to interact because of the job, you simply address the issue and be respectful. That's it. If you're thinking that the push/pull theory is a way to maybe get the person to come back to you, that's not quite right.
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Talk to him about it and come to an agreement that you will remain just as friends like before and will be dating others.
leogirl876 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I'd say act a little more aloof or indifferent in his presence at work. Totally pull away use no-contact if you want to move on. If you don't want to move on and get him back then use the push-pull method. I'm a fan of the push/pull thing. As much as I say I hate it, it's an addiction for me and it seems to work and keep things interesting. I don't think that's meant for a long-term relationship, it's more of a power struggle and attraction trigger, so if I were you, pull away and do nothing, let him come to you. If he does and you see him, be all nice and flirty when you're with him, then ignore him after for the next couple of days, then another time you see him, act a little aloof when you're with him then chase a day after, it's about changing up things and confusing the person, use reverse psychology. Only do this if you want, and only those you want power over, not for those who are long-term relationship material. I'm not saying the push-pull is the right thing to do, I'm just saying the game can be effective.
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