phoenix333 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I am thinking that maybe I 'smothered' my gf with too much attention. We were long distance, and I was always trying to make up for that. Lots of cards, letters, gifts, flowers, etc. Maybe that is why she needs space? Maybe I'm grasping at straws here, maybe I'm deep in denial...but what if she just really does need some breathing room?
Opium Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 You were in a LDR and hardly saw each other but she needed space? Sorry to tell you but me personally I don't think sending cards and flowers are smothering a person I just think it's thoughtful gestures that you love her. Smothering someone would be you all OVER them physically 24/7 not giving them time to breathe. Kissing, hugging, non-stop touching, things like that would be smothering someone if it's done excessively.
Author phoenix333 Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 You were in a LDR and hardly saw each other but she needed space? yes...and it has me so deliriously confused I'm trying to figure out if I did anything wrong...and what I could do differently in the future.
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 A person who "needs space" needs it not because of what their partner isn't doing, but what they themselves aren't feeling.
Author phoenix333 Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 not because of what their partner isn't doing, but what they themselves aren't feeling it's hard for me to accept that...probably due to the fact that I'm still feeling raw and simply reeling from this
butterfly29 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Maybe Long Distance is what makes her comfortable in a relationships.
J dub Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 youre going thru the normal phase of a breakup. Theres lots of posts on dealing with greif, you go in to denial, and bargaining (maybe I can do this, or should have done that, etc), and sadness/depression, anger and then acceptance, but not necessarily in any specific order. And theres no set time limit for each either, its a process. Believe me, we all go thru the same thought processes when it comes to this stuff. I was having the same thoughts last week when I began to realize that he really IS needing space and I WASNT just dreaming. Keep talking it out, write it down, let your emotions flow. If you hold it in, it's inevitably going to come out at some point. Might as well get thru it now and not later. Believe me, I am doing it - and it feels incredibly good to begin seeing that life isnt so bad without them...that I lived most of my life without him and can continue with or without him, regardless I'll make it work. We are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So we cry and feel heartache? Its part of healing, and its essential to finding our true love. Believe what she says to you, take it for face value, and move on. Its the only option at this point, and if she comes back, you'll already be in the process of getting over her and you'll be able to make a conscious decision if you really want her back. Just be patient, you will get thru this. If I can do it, anyone can
Rosalind Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I remember being in a LDR and asking for space. The cards, letters, gifts, and flowers didn't bother me - it was the expectation that I should ALWAYS be available on-line for him...I do have my own life to lead, and that means real-life responsibilities, and in-person communication with others. I felt like I was being held hostage by the computer...I needed some breathing room - just like your g/f.
Author phoenix333 Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 I felt like I was being held hostage by the computer...I needed some breathing room - just like your g/f. so what happened?
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